It's interesting that we tend to ask for advice from rich people. Once I've heard a very annoyed George Soros saying in an interview - CNN or similar - that "you got me here not because I know stuff but because I'm rich".
Even take, say, Paul Graham or Sam Altman. They can reach out to anyone in the YC family and I would imagine get a very fast and motivated response and extra effort. Or for that matter anyone in the startup world who is familiar with who they are or what they do. There is no way anyone will convince me that isn't a very large advantage in either gaining information or access. And that information and access does mean something they are (in theory) better informed.
Of course Soros is on CNN because he is rich and known. But the truth is what he says people will take seriously more so than if CNN interviewed the local head of a 100 or 200 person manufacturing company.
Similarly, if I was interested in an athletic career, I'd be interested to hear from a gold medal champion more than from someone who is out of breath going to the mailbox.
"The Millionaire Next Door" by Stanley
I think it is a little of column A and a little of column B. I think a lot of people want to emphasize the luck, happenstance and inheritance angle in part to try to make peace with not being rich themselves.
I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I am tired of being dirt poor and working so hard at solving my problems, seemingly without ever getting any credit while often feeling like the financial piece never really changes, no matter how much progress I have made. There always seems to be some reason why I am broke anyway.
I wish life would give me a break and I end up often feeling like the difference between me and more financially well off people is entirely "luck" (bad luck) that no amount of effort can reverse. On the other hand, I want success that I earned, not some winning lottery ticket.
I can't quite figure out if hoping for a break is worse or if wanting to stubbornly do it my damn self is stupidly and pointlessly masochistic.
I don't have the answer. I am just trying to say that I have a lot of sympathy for the people who want to claim that rich people were just lucky.
Yet, I have worked hard to get healthier and seen results for that while people dismiss that as wild coincidence and get incredibly defensive at the idea that making changes to their life might make a difference. And it gives me the sneaking suspicion that people who want to say rich people are merely lucky and that's it are people who don't want to examine what they might be able to do differently because it might involve admitting that their lack of money is partly due to not wanting to make certain hard choices.
I've read about many successful people, and in the early days they would take every opportunity for luck to happen, and one day it did. For example, the Beatles spent years playing for anyone who would listen to them, until one day it mattered. There's Ray Kroc, a 52 year old broke failed salesman, who one day noticed an opportunity to run McDonald's. It goes on and on.
Keep trying, and I wish you the best of luck(!). There's no country on earth with more opportunity than America, and it's never been easier in America. Heck, just recently on HN there was that guy who noticed he could buy stuff from Walmart and sell it on Amazon for a profit, and was making millions.
The odds seem pretty stacked against me for various reasons. Though I am currently 52, so I appreciate the Ray Kroc snippet. ;-)
Anyhow, it is not necessary to hit a home run to become wealthy. I've seen people do it with a series of base hits, and managing the results prudently.
The lower paid employees consistently had much lower investment returns than the higher paid employees. It was pretty clear that the higher paid employees were managing their 401k investments better.
In other words, it wasn't random.
The company reacted to those results by offering free investment education classes to all employees. What the outcome of that was I don't know.
It statistically stands to reason that people who are better at managing money, finance, and investments will accrue more wealth than those who are worse at it.
Nassim Taleb has built an entire writing/speaking career on the premise that most success (particularly in the financial industry) is predicated on N events, where N is low enough to statistically produce exactly the number of Warren Buffetts, George Soroses, Jeff Bezoses, etc that we see today, by mere chance.
The other part is lottery by definition. If you stayed at home, played video games all day and won the lottery, then that is the very literal definition of luck.
But not necessarily about raising kids, choosing a romantic partner, and even less about the work-life balance.