This site's JS made me very sad.
A lot of points in this post are about appeasing toxic behavior and working with difficult bosses. Why? Appeasing toxicity only increases toxicity.
A lot of points in this post are about appeasing toxic behavior and working with difficult bosses. Why? Appeasing toxicity only increases toxicity.
In my experience an abusive boss-employee relationship is made of two halves;
a) An abusive boss
b) A subject who accepts the abuse
So what are your options if you don't accept the abuse. Most people say "Quit". In my experience it's far more effective to deal with the abuse directly so that the abuser knows that you're not willing to accept their behaviour.
Of course there's a fear of being fired, but IMO that tends to be over-estimated. Getting you fired in many companies is not an easy process. Your typical tyrant doesn't want to make work for themselves and like most bullies if you show resistance, they'll leave you alone.
How you show resistance really varies - YMMV. For example if they make fun of you in public, making fun of them back _immediately_ is pretty effective - even if you're not funny showing you're willing to be loud in a group is the point. Calm one-on-one feedback is probably the best approach e.g. "I understand you might be under a lot of pressure at the moment but I don't like how you spoke to me this morning. I found it rude / aggressive / etc. and it makes me think about what my next steps are if this should continue". Local legal situations might mean you want to do that together with HR although the moment you involve HR, you've already escalated...
And of course you need to have the courage to act, but once you make the first step, it all gets easier. Life's too short.
I attempted to deal with the abuse directly, after appeasing for a while. I just couldn't feel good being treated the way I was - CEO was passive-aggressive to the extreme and treats every other than herself like they're idiots.
Anyway, two days after politely and diplomatically attempting to stand up for myself, I was fired.
How do you feel about it in retrospect? Do you regret the outcome? If so why?