The ideals you've posited sound pleasant initially, but they bear little resemblance to being able to do real work in the messy, impatient, human-infested world others live in. Would it be nice to eschew the linux kernel, or the openbsd community, because a large fraction of those folks meet the ESR 'busy hacker with attitude' definition? Sure. Would it be career-killing to say "Linus/Theo were curt with me, _how wude_, let me agonize over it on my Tumblr and waste dev cycles finding another kernel/crypto library/whatever"? Absolutely.
ESR's guide is pragmatic, and far more effective at solving the real problem in front of the questioner, than the "pout and shun" methodology you've espoused.