Ask HN: Advice using Stoicism/Meditation/Zen Buddhism,etc. to buildup resilience | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Advice using Stoicism/Meditation/Zen Buddhism,etc. to buildup resilience

15 pointsforkLding12 comments

I'm still relatively young (20-25) and have launched a side project while working. Its been quite stressful and I have seen a lot of negative energy come out especially with those who work with me on the project.

So I have thought of relying on meditation and related literature to help calm me down and keep me mentally resilient as it seems that these techniques have helped others in the past.

Any actionable advice on how I can start this and buildup mental resilience?

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Repeating mantras is awesome. I like to use these:

> "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Basically Stoicism in a nutshell. I like this one and I like to practice it but I don't repeat, chant this one often in my mind now that I think about it ... the next 2 I repeat daily, nay, hourly, nay, even more probably.

> "There is never enough time to do everything, but there's always enough time to do the most important thing."

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer complexity of the whole world (trust me, I've been there) but there is no escaping this. In the long run we're all dead anyway. There is basically always an infinite amount of things we can do but often there is only ONE thing that adds the most value or is the most important thing RIGHT now.

> "Look at how far youve come already."

For some reason this one motivates me because of all the hardships I've experienced already. I'm alive. I'm breating. I'm here. I'm going where I want to go. I have overcome all adversities in the past why should I not overcome this one? Let's go!

The first one is basically

Besides this, earplugs are SO nice. Just not hearing so much noise really really calms me down.

Some part of my reply got lost in translation. Please disregard "The first one is basically".

And another one I like to use is this one:

>"It's so much harder to start than it is to stop."

In other words, it takes a lot of effort to get a large ball moving, but once its moving its hard to stop the momentum. What this means is that once you get going you'll often find it easier than you thought it would be. Besides that, there is, rationally speaking, basically no excuse for not starting early. Either you finish earlier which is great, or you find out that the task is significantly harder than you expected which is also great because this means that you have more time to fix it.

Finally, please keep in mind that "all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it." In this case, a European PhD student in econometrics, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Feel free to add your own mantras or advice of course.

>> "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This is like a long-winded version of one of my favourites:

>"Fight battles small enough to win that are big enough to matter."

Maybe it's just because I'm more familiar with the former version, but I find it...catchier? And that's important in a mantra.

Each to there own ;)

Firstly I would start with some introspection. Techniques from afar can help, but you may find that you have resources well known to you, near at hand, that may offer some immediate relief. What springs to mind if you imagine "running away"? Where and what would you like to run away to? What do you associate with joy and freedom? If you spend a little time introspecting & remembering, you might already find you know of some things to do, whether it be surfing or reading or walking in the moonlight. In my case a good run, or certain types of gigs, offer peaks that can counter much day-to-day difficulty. These resources can become a bit hidden by the daily grind. Digging them up and allocating time for them might be useful.

Secondly, if you're a reader I think Jon Kabat-Zinn's book The Mindful Way through Depression is an excellent intro to meditation. Don't be put off by the title -- it's useful for more than just depression. It's a decent read, is very secular in tone, offers various ways in to thinking about and approaching meditation that have been fruitfully used in clinical settings, and has a set of guided meditations on the associated CD that are easier to start with than trying to remember instructions.

Thirdly, if meditation appeals to you, why not find a local zen or vipassana group? There's something a little heightened about meditating with a group that can be motivating. Many such groups offer a weekly sitting, and are usually pretty relaxed (not demanding you believe anything, join up, etc).

Good luck.

All of those things can, in this day and age, be somewhat usefully summarized like this:

Airplane mode!

That is to say: turn off your radio for a while and just sit down, or maybe go for a walk or a swim.

Marshall McLuhan, who was extremely interested in the nervous and mental changes brought on by network technology, wrote in 1966:

With the telegraph Western man began a process of putting his nerves outside his body. Previous technologies had been extensions of physical organs: the wheel is a putting-outside-ourselves of the feet; the city wall is a collective outering of the skin. But electronic media are, instead, extensions of the central nervous system, an inclusive and simultaneous field. Since the telegraph we have extended the brains and nerves of man around the globe. As a result, the electronic age endures a total uneasiness, as of a man wearing his skull inside and his brain outside.

Hey mbrock, off-topic question, but I came across an interesting discussion you had here on HN a few months ago on formal verification of Solidity/EVM and some related work you were doing. I run a conference at Stanford in January on this, would you have any interest in giving a talk on your work there? Contact me if interested.

http://cyber.stanford.edu/bpase18

http://twitter.com/byrongibson

Hi there,

I'm in the same boat as you with working on a startup while working so I can attest that it is definitely stressful. But it's definitely possible to build up your mental resilience.

I practice Nichiren Buddhism and chant daily to keep my spirits up. Happy to share my experience with you. I also read quite a bit of different sorts of material as well.

For actionable advice, the easiest thing you can do at this very moment is to take deep breaths (not-related to Nichiren Buddhism but which I found useful as well) and really let your mind wander about the great things that have come your way through life. Many people are significantly less fortunate than we are to be here. The fact that I can do so much with my time is what I feel thankful for.

I realize this may be a personal anecdote but I feel we get stressed when we're in great uncertainty, there's an endless list of tasks, and we don't seem to have control of anything. Sometimes I plan out breaks where I step away to do something else other than work and projects. The spiritual practice and the readings help to re-emphasize that even when I am deep in the trenches, I have a choice to take a break. It also helps to realize that I can be happy despite the circumstances, uncertainty and endless work. It's taught me to be little more patient, to be less harsh when things don't work out and persevere. Happiness within the chaos. You'll have to find what works for you but it's definitely there if you're seeking it.

There's a whole manual on this, what to do and why: http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_eng...

A lot of insights I've learned there, like why people sit straight and full lotus cross legged instead of leaning back in a chair. Or how just sitting down doing nothing helps you reach enlightenment.

You need to go through it to unmask it. It's about getting terrified/stressed and then coming out on the other side relatively unharmed a number of times until your mind starts making association that every time you felt this way before and told your self that it will be alright, everything did indeed turn out ok. Thus the term : learning to trust your self.

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