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Comment by cflewis | Hacker News Reader

Dude, screw you.

Seriously.

The biggest screw up we all make about mental health is the assumption that the thing that works for one person is the thing that works for another. I would have hoped that someone who has been through treatment would understand that, but here you are spouting the "get your life in order and it'll all be dandy, it worked for me!" crap that's so unhelpful in the first place to people with mental illness.

Everyone is different with this stuff. Everyone needs different treatment. You are not a mental health professional. Do not say shit like this and not expect to be called on it.

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> "get your life in order and it'll all be dandy, it worked for me!"

No it won’t all be dandy. But it helps.

Or at least it’s what I’ve seen help the most people I know who are or have been depressed. At the end of the day, the main thing to do is to not give in to depression.

That thing wants you to sit on the couch and feel sorry for yourself. That’s like one of the main symptoms. Fighting that urge helps make it go away eventually.

I mean, shit, even the super-OP, Zach whose post we're commenting on, said that he had to keep taking meds and going to therapy for a few months before he saw results. Do you think doing it just once then saying "Fuck this shit, this doesn't work for me, therapy doesn't work. I tried it and it did nothing". Do you think that would've worked?

I think my other reply to you is relevant here, because your advice cannot be proven wrong. You’re replying to someone who tried what you said, saw no marginal improvements, and saying that means they have to keep trying the same thing regardless. If someone tries this for several years and it doesn’t help them, would you consider your theory thoroughly debunked?

> If someone tries this for several years and it doesn’t help them, would you consider your theory thoroughly debunked?

Yes.

Well then what do you say to the athletes in this thread who tried this for several years and felt no better? Have you been debunked? Does everyone have to spend 2 years of their life’s on your advice before they’re allowed to say “This doesn’t work for me”?

I can’t imagine you think that’s reasonable... I think it would be more helpful if people stopped throwing this sort of advice around like it’s useful to people

I’ve argued things like what you’re arguing before but really I was just afraid to think otherwise, could you be feeling the same way? I don’t think that’s a sustainable strategy though so here I am, arguing the other way. It was harder to think that way than this - less natural

> could you be feeling the same way?

Yeah you're probably right.

I guess what bothers me about the whole thing are the 2 or 3 years of my life I spent vehemently disagreeing with everyone who gave me This Advice and telling them that it doesn't work and they need to fuck right off. Then when I actually legit gave it a chance, it worked.

Maybe I just got lucky. Maybe the therapy worked more than I think and it's what enabled me to give This Advice a chance. I'll never know, it's not like I can A/B test.

I can relate, it worked for me too for a while. Still not really sure what I’m doing, but in a sense I’m back to where I was before I ever went doe that road... definitely might be totally wrong about things, I’m pretty afraid of that actually. This maybe won’t make sense to you but it basically forced me to lie about things, to pretend I didn’t understand people and I think that was cruel.

My perspective is that your approach here, talking about depression as an external influence that is not you - just an oppressive influence on you that must be fought off - was actively harmful for improving my mental state.

The day I stopped viewing myself as an ideality rather than reality, the day I realized everything I thought, felt, believed, and did was me and absolutely none of it wasn't, was the day I found an ability to change instead of deny.

Also, I'd say it is very easy to approach this with a defeatist attitude (consciously or unconsciously) if you have a belief that you are sick. Only time can fix a broken bone, so if your mind is broken, can you really change it - is it a futile effort to try?

Don't listen to a nut on the internet, though.

It sounds like you have really don't know deep depression can go. I can understand this attitude from someone who has never been there.

Your tips are a little insulting to someone truly suffering. There is a difference between feeling bummed out to feeling like you shouldn't be alive any longer.

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