When I was in high school, I'm only competing with like 2 or 3 guys for 1 girl. In college, that increases to probably like 5-10. With online dating? Feels like 50-100.
But having briefly used Bumble, where the women must message the guy first, I never received a message better than 'hey, hows it going?'.
Now honestly, I don't believe that's because these women couldn't figure out a better opener. I just don't think they needed to because most men receive far fewer messages and will reply to any match.
To be fair, Bumble doesn't include a lot of space for you to talk about your interests. If I can't get an idea for who you are based on a picture (yes, most guys only have one), what more can I say other than introduce myself? My go-to icebreaker is "Hi! I'm Ali. I'm bad at this."
Edit: I should also note that Bumble isn't a great dating app if you also interested in same-sex relationships. Not relevant to the parent comment, but relevant to me.
Can't tell you how many girls love adventures and netflix; what exactly are you supposed to work with here?
You'd have to at least put some hobby or interest in your profile that I might relate to... But just asking about something very specific as a first message also sounds weird.
I really just wanna say "Hi" and see where it goes from there... What do women want?
Many years ago, a woman responded to my message with a reply that included the phrase "at least you don't sound desperate."
I had no idea what that meant, so when we met I asked her and she showed me the many messages she received from other men. It was appalling to say the least. The messages were so awful and pathetic it was hard for me to understand how low their self-esteem had to be. Message after message made it clear that these guys felt they were out of options and were desperately messaging anyone in the hopes of a lucky positive reply. What woman they thought would find this attractive, I have no idea!
Suddenly the success I was having in online dating became clear. Just being pleasant and positive was putting me head and shoulders above what I would be reluctant to call competition.
tl/dr:
Guys, just be nice, polite, friendly and have a positive spin to your dating messages/emails etc. That alone puts you in the top 1%.
Anyway, since dating is a market for lemons (all your competition are people who can’t get a relationship) most of them are terrible at it. Women might get tired of bad messages and quit, but they won’t ignore you if you’re calm and not too thirsty.
https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2016/12/29/does-san-jose-deserve-t...