Tweet Less, Kiss More | Hacker News Reader

Tweet Less, Kiss More

nytimes.com

111 pointsricaurte42 comments

I live on a boat, and sometimes I sail out, throw an anchor somewhere and just enjoy the silence for a few days. No phone, no television, no Internet. Nothing.

It's absolutely wonderful. There's time to think through problems, time to reflect on life and time to think about new ideas. I can also drink my morning coffee not caring how I look or sound.

When I come back I'm refreshed and have an inner peace that's somewhat hard to describe. But getting totally away from everything every once in a while is recommendable.

You know what, for a second I was jealous of you after reading your comment, but then I caught myself and realized that this is a case of "the grass is always greener..".

If that's what I really wanted, I could also do it, and I wouldn't even need a boat-house. It wouldn't be too hard to go somewhere quiet for a few days and enjoy the peace. I guess I don't want that enough to actually go out and do it.

Maybe I should so I can see if what I imagine it to be and what it actually is are anywhere close to each other.

I have found solitude to be what you make of it. That's the point, I suppose -- less external forces impacting you. I've also wasted a lot of time with nothing to show for it and not coming out particularly de-stressed and never got into the re-centering flow. there may be some element of practice to getting the most out of time alone, that will help you to enter that restorative mode. Not much compares to it when you get there, though.

I don't think your logic is correct, at least not for most people. I don't think people in general optimize perfectly for what they want.

I recently de-activated my Blackberry Internet service on my phone, and initially thought that everything would collapse by me not being able to reply to my emails & bbm's quickly enough.

It's been a few days (possibly a week) and it feels very liberating. This coming from someone whose main job revolves around the internet.

I think I am going to keep it this way.

The funniest thing is, I constantly look at my phone and feel 'weird' when I don't see anything that requires my 'immediate' attention. I am used to always seeing messages I have received, or emails I need to respond to. Now, I don't see any missed calls - but it feels great. Like a breath of fresh air. Almost like my trip to nowhere with silence.

God I hate that flashing red light...

You can turn off the flashing red light, you know.

This is part of the reason I'm sticking with email-less, internet-less twenty-buck prepaid phones for as long as they keep making 'em.

I don't have a boat, but I find plane travel accomplishes the same thing for me. My parents live interstate, an hour plane trip away and I find when I go and visit them, that the hour plane trip is absolutely heavenly for the simple reason is that I can zone out, no distractions, no-one else can distract me and I get to think. (Note I live in Australia where plane travel isn't as horrendous as it is in the US).

I like this article, and can definitely resonate with it—like just a night ago when my phone was out of battery while attending a dance night, and instead of texting on my phone when I was standing on the sidelines, I instead observed the styles and techniques of others on the floor.

But this isn't the entire story. We have to look at what's really behind our desire to become attached to technology. It's not the devices themselves that we're attached to, it seems like—more like what they do.

The guy that has his laptop propped up in the driver seat probably detests his boring commute and how annoying radio ads are, and is looking for more entertainment in his daily commute. The lunch party friends are texting because even though they're meeting with their friends in person—there are others that they'd like to improve their relationship with, or just generally enjoy talking with.

Has technology's enabling of making us more connected with each other—that everyone's but a text message or email away using a block of plastic and metal in our pocket with an improvised lightbulb on it—really improved our friendships and our connections with each other? That's the real question we have to answer before writing off technology as something that's simply disrupting our personal relations. In real life, yes, it is a disruption, but is the value of being connected worth it?

An effective, easy to implement policy that has made me happier is the no cell phone rule when eating, period. It's nice when I'm eating solo and even nicer when I'm eating with someone else.

Fun Fact: My mother clipped this article out and snail mailed it to me from east coast -> SF. I received it 3 days ago. Maybe being connected doesn't put you ahead of the curve.

Sometimes technology can be a life saver. Let me explain; I don't have an extremely congenial home environment. It's mostly screams, accusations and put downs mixed with intermittent periods of affection (I've managed to end the violence). I've been told by my parents that I am not good enough to exist, and I am not worth the money they spend on me. My biological father once made out a huge list of my monthly expenses and gave them to me saying that I wasn't worth it and I might as well get out of the house.

I desperately needed an escape, a safe place to go to and the internet gave me just that. It allowed me to connect to different groups of people with different views on life and love. I met a friend of a friend online and she was there for me through a lot of bad nights. If it hadn't been for her I wouldn't be typing this right now. I learnt from people like lionhearted, or my sister and made relationships with some amazing people which I hope will last a lifetime.

To an outside observer I am a slave of technology, but is that so? This same medium allows me to learn and self reflect, while staying afloat in the endless sea of emotional chaos.

I think that technology by itself isn't the problem. I still read books like anything and I swear by The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann. Whether you use it or abuse it depends upon the type of person you are. So maybe the answer isn't as simple as solitude, but the types of solitudes we choose.

I can easily agree that people shouldn't be talking on the phone while driving or watching a dvd while in traffic, but only because it is dangerous and reckless, but I could care less that it is dangerous and reckless to the driver; I care because I am a driver and those kind of people are endangering others on the road like ME. I personally love both technologies and only dislike the people that use them. I don't find this to be a technological problem, but a people problem; certainly not a “technology controlling society” problem neither.

“Twittering, tweeting — whatever it is, it sounds like a nervous disorder.” The clear fallacy, which is meant to distract, takes away from what is really going on. I hang out with people I like, and I like them because of who they are. Having a cell phone on the table and texting/tweeting does not change who they are as people, and if it has, I guess I like that changed person more.

This 'busy' life the author is complaining about where the tv set is cluttered by unrelated information and multitasking is now known as a wonderful skill.....is the life I wish to live, and I find it awesome. I enjoy commercials and laugh at the obvious marketing techniques ect. It even has become something to do with friends when we have a television show we both enjoy. “We need to slow down and take a deep breath.” No, we don't! You do! Time to adapt, for you can't make others adapt.

“spend a little time just being ourselves.” imho, I already made it clear I judge people on who they are, not if they have the newest cell phone or not. I like people who are themselves? Those people who 'are not' themselves will find themselves eventually. I don't even know if people who are not themselves exist-

imho, this piece was negligent/shallow rant on technology. I can't agree with it on a whole and when I do agree- I agree for different reasons.

"I don't find this to be a technological problem, but a people problem..."

Correct. People are mistakenly letting technology take over their lives--for the worse.

Rather than a negligent and shallow rant on technology, I thought it was a rant on society's negligent and shallow relationships.

The most important skills for children of this generation to learn will be discipline and reflection.

I've realized that I need to sit back in silence more - just with the music alone, I'm killing my ability to think hard and long in silence. And the best thoughts seem to come out of those opportunity's that I seldom take.

The article seems a bit alarmist to me. One person on the phone in traffic and someone who watches movies on their laptop while driving? These don't seem indicative of the common case to me. As far as his complaints about cell phone overuse, the fact is that most people don't have much to say. Most situations like the one he described are long and relatively boring. Is keeping your self occupied such a bad thing?

Over the last six months, I have been traveling back and forth to beijing for 2.5 months at a time. When in beijing, I don't have a phone, let-a-lone a smart phone. The one thing I have noticed is that I used to go to my phone anytime there was a millisecond of downtime, in line, waiting for a check...

Now, I just sit and watch the world that is around me, and I find the real-world local to me is way more interesting than what is happening on techcrunch, perezhilton...

There is some much information being created and consumed that whether intended to be or not it's really just become entertainment.

Twitter, texting, cell phones, etc. don't cause rudeness, they just make it more obvious.

That's a good line, but I bet it's factually false.

That's a good line, but would you care to suggest why?

Because when Britain switched from coal gas to natural gas (low in carbon monoxide), the national suicide rate dropped by 40%.

Suicide is often an impulsive act a person might commit once in their life. Rudeness is a persistent pattern of behavior that exhibits itself many times a day.

I agree. Rudeness is a subtle act of body language that often goes undetected, and is probably only made more explicitly obvious by the presence of technology.

correlation does not equal causation

Rudeness requires both a rude person and an opportunity for them to be rude. Heck, even relatively polite people will be rude if put in the right situation.

Every day, I check my email box, i check my twitter account. But, it is really useless for me. Because no one reply to me on twitter, no one write to me by email. But, i am addict to it, how can i help myself to get out of it?

Remove yourself from a place where you can access it easily for a few weeks.

Why is he picking a fight with the Kindle? Isn't reading when we'd otherwise be completely idle a good thing?

"I was about to move to the center lane to get out of her way when she suddenly swerved into that lane herself to pass me on the right — still chatting away."

Why were you in the left lane if you weren't passing anyone? Starting an article with misplaced righteous indignation is off-putting.

Using the left lane only for passing is not the custom everywhere.

Presumably it is where you live, but it's not universal.

To drive from Washington, D. C. to New York, the author is driving through New Jersey, which has 'keep right' laws. And it's general practice across the USA.

"In North American terminology, the passing lane is often known as a left lane or leftmost lane, due to left hand drive (driving on the right).

...

"A common problem arising from misuse of the "fast lane" is that it forces faster moving traffic that wishes to overtake on the left to change lanes, do so on the right, and then change lanes again."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passing_lane

Would he complain about a person driving up behind him that was having a conversation with her friend in the back seat? Sure, but he wouldn't be able to label it a tech problem. Were brokers on the NYSE in 1950 not multitasking?

I also don't understand why integrated Bluetooth in the car hasn't taken over yet. The US spent over $1B just in the first week of cash for clunkers. They could have bought a ton of aftermarket Bluetooth devices instead (or gone nanny state and made it a mandatory feature) and maybe saved some lives.

If you wanted to spend billions of dollars reducing highway fatalities, there are much more effective measures than bluetoothing people's cars.

On a related topic "Your Brain on Computers Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price" http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brain.html is a very interesting read.

The problem isn't multitasking, it's a biological substrate that isn't really very good at it. We have awesomely parallel brains but our narrow input bandwidth and lack of multiplexing is becoming increasingly a bottleneck.

Once or twice a month, I keep all accessories at home and just head out in jeans/t-shirt, carrying some amount of money. Not carrying your phone/watch/wallet gives a different sense of freedom and the surroundings.

This is the modern equivalent of yelling at kids to get off of your lawn.

No, it isn't: You can't call something a modern equivalent of something else if the something else still exists in modern times (i.e. kids on lawns). More substantively, the guy's got a point: digital distractions are pervasive and lead to an artificial sense of connectedness when really they disconnect you from your present environment. Probably not a big deal if your present environment is stultifying (sitting in traffic, for example), but more of a big deal when it's a potentially rich environment -- eating dinner with friends, say -- and you're missing out on it because you can't pull your head out of your -- ahem, BlackBerry.

Not to mention, numerous studies demonstrate that even people who multitask constantly and believe they are quite good at it, aren't. They miss subtle cues and fail to appreciate the nuances of not just one thing, but everything amongst which they are dividing their attention. And not to pile on, but lots of studies also show that text messaging in particular is prone to communication errors (off the top of my head, I believe the study I'm thinking of said that only about 40% of what the sender intended to communicate is understood properly by the receiver). So I don't think he's just a cranky technophobe; I think it's actually a pretty important point he's making.

It's the modern equivalent because it's the new way in which older people gripe about younger people. Kids and lawns still exist, but people my parents' age don't yell about them anymore. For one the kids are too busy playing video games, and for another they don't want to be a cliche.

This is the new cliche ("the kids and their Tweeting and and Facebooking") as anyone younger who spends any time with baby boomers will attest to. It's valueless because it doesn't say anything everyone doesn't already know. (Really, watching dvds while driving is bad?) It's not necessarily incorrect. It's just silly.

Bob Herbert: Get off my lawn...

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