Stepson: Hey, my phone is glitching and slow. I think I need a new phone.
Me: Really? let me take a look. <tap through a few apps and settings>. Hmm I dont see anything wrong, other than you are connected to the wifi network that is about 300 feet away from you.(My inlaws have a wide open wifi network in their house)
Stepson: oh, ok, but its still glitching. I need a new Phone!!!!!!!
Me: whenever you are ready to pay for it in cash since you still owe about 600 for that one...
Stepson: :(
<a few weeks later>
Stepson: hey I dropped my phone, I need a new one...
I am convinced that apple has built a time released lubricant into their phones that causes kids to drop them when the new models are released....