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Comment by dvt | Hacker News Reader

Part of being a grownup is doing whatever the hell you want. If you don't want to pick up that phone (and have a potentially awkward conversation with some sleazebag recruiter that's trying to sell you on a shit job you don't want), don't.

This reminds me of the people that think women (or men) that don't want to go out with them owe them some kind of explanation. No, dude. Get some social awareness and move the fuck on.

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Sure, you can do whatever you want. That doesn't change the fact that people will consider u a prick and a coward if you ignore calls for weeks on end without any explanation.

>Part of being a grownup is doing whatever the hell you want.

Wait till you're a grownup and you realize how not true that is.

It's not the same thing. You can skip a call out of the blue, but after you have had some kind of interaction, is really good manners to have open and direct discussion. Both professionally and in the example you mention.

> Part of being a grownup is doing whatever the hell you want

No, that's being a child. Being a grown up means not only thinking about yourself

My thoughts exactly. Unfortunately these days it's clear not everyone feels that way.

Part of being a grownup is doing whatever the hell you want. If you want to ring that phone (and have a potentially awkward conversation with some immature developer that's not yet picking up on your opportunity), do it.

Goes both ways.

The rights come with responsibilities and/or consequences.

Being an adult means you get to own many of your choices, but also their consequences.

Giving the recruiter a direct "no" would be far more professional. OTOH, I've dissed more than my share of recruiters myself, though generally only after an initial clear and unambiguous communication wasn't respected.

not fair that you are getting downvoted for a perfectly reasonable perspective, you are hurting some sensitivities here

Life is easier when you treat people with respect.

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