Yeah, that's me in a nutshell. My employer recently sent everyone new hardware and I was initially bummed about getting the just-before-Touch-Bar MBP. Then I saw how gimmicky and awful Touch Bar was for the "lucky" colleague stuck with it. I'm typing this on a five year old MBA that isn't quite up to scratch for work anymore. If Apple would take this case, stick updated hardware and a Retina display in it, I'd buy it on launch day. Never gonna happen so I guess I'm never gonna buy another Apple laptop.
Desktop Linux, especially when your employer runs Exchange, is a barrel of pain I've opened far too many times for my own good. Not going that route again.