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Comment by CptMauli | Hacker News Reader

> five minutes later they started emailing our parents—and

> then all undergraduate parents

Can somebody explain why the University would email the parents? What do they have to do with it? The students are of age, right?

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A related question is, what other equivalent email/postal mail do parents get about their kids? Things may be different recently, but my parents got nothing from MIT short of bills, grades, and fundraising. The article seems to confirm this is still true.

Back then, there seemed to be an implicit understanding that MIT, maybe unlike other places, gave you a lot of rope, and it was your job as a student to use it wisely. No parent got a letter saying their kid was caught on a roof (unless they were jumping, an idiot, or hurt somebody).

On the other hand, one autumn a few years after I graduated when I was still advising, I was at a brunch for the parents of new students. The Dean of Students at the time addressed the gathering by saying, "Trust in us. We will take care of your children".

I found it jarring then, and I find it jarring now. One dean, one speech, one fall, but wrong at so many levels.

As an european this really sounds odd to me - my university does not even know what my parents names are, let alone their emails.

The parents are paying the bills.

This probably isn't true: students loans exist

Not all of them. Many are in grants and scholarships, others on student loans.

If parents are paying the bills, that's between them and their kids. They can demand to see grades/results or cut funding. But if you'd teaching students they are adults-then that responsibility falls to the families in the situations where they are dependent on them for funding.

One of my housemates hated his parents and funded everything himself taking pc support jobs at a print shop and car dealership.

That's between us and our kids. At Illinois orientation this year, they were super clear with us: your kids are 18, adults, and they're our clients, not you; if you call us with questions about them, we're unlikely to answer them, and in some cases legally can't.

That felt right.

My kid's college calling me about other people's behavior in a dorm? That feels very, very wrong.

Mine was similar, the University made it clear they straight up cannot discuss medical issues, or anything else which is confidential with with the parent/guardian of anyone over 5e age of 18.

It’s straight up illegal.

This. My parents paid for much of my education, but got information about my academics through me. I allowed them to access my grades because it was often easier than any alternatives, but actually stopped doing that after they got worried about some things without context. I, and I think they, would have been surprised and appalled if my school had emailed them about the conduct of other students.

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