You can't desire to analyze someone from an evolutionary psych perspective, out-strategize someone, or form a deep emotional connection at different points in a relationship?

I have yet to form a deep emotional connection upon first coming in contact with another person. That's something that must grow with time. From my experience, even going in with the idea that I might get into a serious, long-term relationship with someone, there's a hurdle that I must overcome before I can get a girl to desire a deep emotional connection. The "game" is one means of overcoming that hurdle. Yes, it means adjusting your personality to fit the circumstance, but I do that all the time. Is that somehow uncouth to do so when the end-goal is a romantic relationship instead of getting funding, finding a job, making a new friend, or any other potential scenario that involves another person/people?