> currencies must be inflationary or the universe will explode and people will save so aggressively that they will die of hunger
That's not the (primary) problem with deflationary currencies. Say you're a typical citizen with at most a median income ($56,516, according to [1]). With that level of income, important purchases such as a (used) car, a post-secondary education, an unfortunate medical emergency, or any other large expense is usually going to require taking more than a trivial amount of debt[2].
Debt denominated in a deflating currency is effectively has a rising interest rate. Ideas about "aggressive saving" only make sense if have the ability to save. Since 3/4 (75%) of workers live paycheck to paycheck and 71% of those workers are in debt[4], a deflationary would directly increase most people's debt and effectively be a type of institutionalized usury.
> printing free money and giving it to rich banks is a good thing and doesn't totally fuck the little guy
Of course that's bad. Giving money to banks is one of the worst ways to run a "bailout". If you simply handed the money to citizens, a vast majority (that live paycheck to paycheck[4]) would spend it as normal players in the economy. The money would at least get a trip through the economy doing useful things before it ended up back in usual places money accumulates.
> monetary stimulus smooths out economic cycles ...
As for why any bailout might be necessary, in a perfect world it shouldn't be. However, in our imperfect reality we occasionally run into the fallacy of composition. Austerity tactics are often rational at the individual level, but we all do it at the same time we call it a slowing economy and a smaller GDP. A bailout is a workaround to fix that deadlock; it's bad, but it's probably better than a crashing GDP and a failing economy. The real fix would be some sort of policy or regulation that prevented the deadlock. Good luck on that part; it's a particularly difficult problem with a a lot of noise, complexity, and it's full of occasionally-rational participants - some of which are malicious.
> arrogant economic dogma
The arrogant dogma in economics is the notion that it is reducible to math[5][6].
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Household_income_...
[2] The current gap between real incomes and productivity[3] - and the increased availability and use of debt to (poorly) make up the difference - has the dual effect of making the use of debt much more likely and the size of the debt larger. However, the need for debt will still be common for most people regardless of our current situation.
[3] https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Product...
[4] https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/24/most-americans-live-paycheck...
[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmWbkPezgtU
[6] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5AUAIzciLE#t=1355