Jokes aside, it's odd that OP is lumping Cleveland in with other 'mid-west' cities. They all have their own very different characters.
Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh...all very different.
Also most of the top 30-40 American cities have similar minimum amenities. A theatre, downtown with restaurants, light rail. I don't think that should surprise anyone. It's just the breadth/depth of options they offer that differs.