Bitcoin Is Not a Pyramid. Coinbase Is

So a regulated market is a market and an unregulated market is a...ponzi scheme.

That was a terrible article, by the way. Cyptocurrencies flow in and out of exchanges constantly. If Coinbase makes any sort of guarantee that Bitcoin will go up in price, then what you argue would have merit, and Coinbase should be reprimanded.

As for Strip accepting your coin account- have you ever tried? If you can satisfy all the regulation requirement of being a commodity exchange (AML etc.), they might actually accept your application.

As for utility of a commodity, unless you are a large integrated circuit manufacturer, gold would have no utility as well. Other than it is shiny and looks nice, gold is useless to everyday live.