Difficult, but I assume interesting.
Difficult, but I assume interesting.
1) Accept the person that you are, and learn to love that person. If you don't accept who you are and love yourself, others will have a hard time following suit.
2) Do the things you love. In doing so, you're likely to meet others who share the same interests.
3) Stop worrying about whether you'll ever find someone. When you do this, you project a sense of desperation, and others can pick up on this.
Also, why the tight time frame? You don't get married to become happy, you get married because you're already happy.
On a more practical level, try OkCupid.com. Seriously, I've been so impressed with that site. If match.com is like myspace, okcupid.com is like facebook. High quality, smart people. The girls actually write you back. I'm averaging about 2 dates a month from OkCupid right now.
Also, the site is just a well designed and fun web app, so I can appreciate it on that level.
I haven't used any other dating sites, so I have no proper basis for comparison, but I've been very satisfied with the site, from matching system, search options, etc.
Bottom line: I ended up meeting my current girlfriend there and things are going very, very well with her. Anecdotal evidence, yes, but I hope it complements the nuggets of awesomeness you'll find on OKTrends (http://blog.okcupid.com).
Step 1: sit back and relax ;)
A friend of mine is having a difficult time convincing his parents and hers that he has found his own partner - even though they would be very suitable candidates for an arranged marriage.
Indians do not marry for love. Love is what happens afterwards.
"Optimizing your wife
If a man can expect to meet exactly N eligible women in his life, what strategy should he use to maximize his chances of choosing the very best one?"
http://www.mathpages.com/home/kmath018/kmath018.htm
Just curious, are you attempting to quantitatively rank the candidates in a spreadsheet, especially the intangibles like 'as potential mother'?
carry my child
If they're a woman, they're a lesbian. I'm pretty sure men can't bear children.As a result, neither egocentrical males nor lesbians can bear children by themselves, even though artificial insemination and foster mothers may make it easy to live in the illusion that it's a possibility. (Or were you implying that the backward model of gender roles that is expressed in "carry my child" would be sure to drive any sane woman away unless the OP is a lesbian woman, because lesbian women can get away with chauvinistic opinions without raising any red flags?)
On the other hand, yes, his or her wife may be perfectly able to carry his or her existing child around if he or she is a single parent with a sore back.
It would be difficult to find one who would agree to this arrangement, though.
So lesbians can certainly bear children by themselves, but men, the vast majority of which have no wombs, cannot.
Citation: #3 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bear
And while you may consider yourself witty, I feel I must point out that in the context in which I was using it, "to carry" a child refers to the state of being pregnant with it. Citation: #6 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/carry Yet again, something the wombless may have trouble with.
As opposed to that, the mindset of getting a partner for the sole purpose of having a family, while certainly more often found with those with non-womb reproductive organs, can probably be found with both males and females and in either case is sure to be appalling to the partner (or to other people at large).
While I strongly agree with your basic point, I'm not sure I like the way you make that point.
In my understanding, both the OP and yourself implicitly talk about the whole parenting affair and not just getting pregnant with a child, at which point the social faculty of being a good parent becomes more relevant compared to biological disposition.
Show me a man starting a family with a 40 year old, and I will show you a man without options.
Well, somebody's been reading his Roissy.
Assuming that women and men are the same, have the same goals, and obey the same rules is an immensely stupid mistake to make, one that could be avoided by observing the real world social dynamics, and one that only clueless feminists such as yourself make.
Such as if you are White I suggest a good looking Indian girl who is pursuing PhD in CS or some such
At the same time you must look out for IQ and Looks which are quite a bit genetically dependant
Any evidence for this? (Once you get past marrying siblings and maybe cousins?)