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Sounds like a combination of you just getting unlucky and having very low pain tolerance.

Personally I don't mind it hurting a bit sometimes, for smaller stuff I usually even opt out of the local anesthetics because I don't like running around with a mouth that feels like it's full of cotton.

Those are medical procedures after all, they are not supposed to make you feel amazing (at least during the process) they are supposed to "fix you", as such the process can be quite uncomfortable like many other medical procedures.

If pain is your issue you should try looking for dentists offering less-conventional methods, like hypnosis or electric anesthesia. But I doubt there's anything anybody could ever do to make a visit to the dentist "comfortable" for you, short of full anesthesia so you don't even notice what's happening.

I guess I got lucky because I don't really mind, never did. As kid I would hate going to the haircutter, but I loved visiting the dentist because of all the cool tools he had. Being weird sometimes has its advantages ;)

sorry but I hate this attitude. your comment of "I don't really mind, never did" makes it clear you think we're both experiencing the same amount of pain it's just that you're tougher.

let me assure you we are NOT going through the same amount of pain. if we were I am 1000% sure your attitude and reaction would be far different

>Lukewarm water please.

Cold helps vasoconstriction. Warm equals vasodilatation equals more bleeding, and increasing the bloodflow makes it easier for the bacteria that will eventually come through microlesions to go around etc.

Things are in a specific way for a reason most of the time.

> It felt like she was taking an ice pick and stabbing my gums.

Yes because that's where calculus accumulates. It's not a pleasant feeling but it's not an unbearable pain either in my experience.

> It's not a pleasant feeling but it's not an unbearable pain either in my experience.

Indeed, the way worse version of that is having your gum bags cleaned out, it's literally scrapping everything out between your gums and your teeth, one of the more painful things I went trough in my life.

expletive deleted

I've had my guns cleaned 50+ times in life. when I tell you it hurt I'm saying it hurt unlike any other time .

you're assuming all pain is the same, all procedures are the same , and that all people experience the same amount of pain for a given proceedure.

not cool. your attitude is actually part of the problem.

How many dentists have you gone to? Regularly changing dentists is just a bad idea.

Get a recommendation from someone you know who says they were nervous, chose a particular dentist and now would go to no one else and give that dentist a decent chance.

You need to develop a relationship with one dentist and over time you will become more comfortable with them and they with you. Everyone can be a little nervous in a new relationship. They will also have reminders on your card re your sensitive teeth etc.

You are also likely to have fewer procedures as dentists are more comfortable to keep stuff under observation with patients who they know will come back. Because you're nervous they also will be more likely to go down the advise and keep under observation route especially if your overall decay rate is low. And that crappy amalgam that looks like it needs replacing? Your long-term dentist knows it's looked like that for ten years now. All those kinds of things.

Any advice for finding a good dentist? I'm severely in need of a dentist after years upon years of neglect, mainly due to not being able to afford it, but now I'm in a position where I can at least work towards something proper. Yet, I've got no idea where to start. Thoughts?

Personal recommendations are usually how people find their dentists, I'm not sure there's any better way. Ask several colleagues and friends to talk to you in depth about their experiences. Make sure you ask if they recommended extensive expensive treatments, routinely recommending such treatments is a bad sign the dentist is doing unnecessary work for profit (which happens). Don't hesitate to call up different offices with any questions you may have. If they won't or can't answer your questions they aren't worth your time. Don't hesitate about getting a second opinion if you're not sure about their treatment plan.

Really it's about recommendations, ask lots of people who they go to and why. I'd avoid a practice that's part of a chain like the plague, they are more likely to have a high turnover of dentists, who are under pressure to produce. I'd go for a small practice with at most a few dentists all ideally partners who are there for the long haul. Definitely avoid quick jobs like combining a holiday with treatment packages. If you've left things a long time, the first task may just be to stabilise things and then you can gradually get the things you want, done. There are always options and some cost a lot more than others. It's a trade off off involving satisfaction in terms of aesthetics and function, cost and the amount of time you'll need to spend in the chair. Sorry that all sounds a bit wafflely as i write it but it's true really.

Those years of neglect are going to hurt until you get back to where you need to be. Even the best dentist will admit to that.

Sounds like you have some gum recession ('sensitive teeth').

Brushing vigorously can erode gums, exposing the sensitive parts of teeth. It's very important to brush gently (but thoroughly); not back and forth, rather up and down. Flossing isn't particularly good for gums, either, so best to do it sparingly.

My dentist tells me to floss specifically because it's good for the gums.

Excuse me? Flossing is critical for gum health.

You'd be surprised, but above is not the commonly accepted truth, and is debated amongst dentists. (research across countries also lends credible data to both sides in the debate).

Source: married to a dentist.

Maybe. The recommendation for flossing comes from tradition and anecdotes, not good evidence. Flossing isn't evidence based[1], though that doesn't mean it's useless and we shouldn't do it, just because something isn't evidence based doesn't mean it doesn't work.

We probably should floss because it's probably helpful, even if the evidence is weak, it has a plausible mechanism of action, it's low cost, low risk, and teeth feel good after a proper flossing.

A big issue is many people have poor flossing technique though, which is (probably) not great for gums and may actually cause problems. Flossing shouldn't hurt and you should talk to your dental hygienist about proper (recommended) technique. Also have him or her actually floss your teeth if they don't already during a cleaning (mine does) so you can get a feel of what the recommended technique feels like. Also try different types of floss. My hygienist can floss me just fine with the "normal" type floss but I can't replicate that for some reason, I need to use the "glide" type floss.

[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-evidence-for-flo...

Which country/state/etc. are you in?

None of what you complain of ever happens to me here in Norway. Nor have I heard of any such scary events here in the 30+ years I've lived here. Of course I only have direct experience of a few dentists all in the same practice.

I don't actually agree with your examples but I wanted to add one of my own.

I went to a dentist complaining of sensitive teeth. He identified the problem as small cavities caused by chewing in my sleep, drilled them out, and added fillings.

A few months later those fillings fell out and I went to another dentist to get them replaced.

"You've had large holes drilled on top of your teeth so I'll have to replace them, but these fillings were totally unneccesary. If you get sensitivity like that again, just use a sensitive toothpaste. With your chewing you'll lose these fillings after about a year, and each time we'll need to drill out a little more, until by the time you are 40 you'll lose the teeth"

What on Earth does it mean to agree with his examples? He's not saying those stories happened to you.

Chewing in your sleep (or even when awake), called Bruxism, is extremely common for many people in stress causing professions. eg probably many people here

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruxism

Did your dentist discuss getting a mouth guard/splint to wear at night?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruxism#Dental_guards_and_occl...

Asking because that's what I went with, and for me it works well. Without it when I wake up I feel as if I've not slept all (very unrested), with it I can actually feel rested after sleep.

That's only during stressful times though. ;)

I lost two teeth over the course of three years because the fillings kept falling out and they had to drill more to get it back in. I hate the current practice of dentistry being to 'make things worse to make things better'.

I can't wait for those things that grow enamel back naturally to fully work and become mainstream.

You might be relatively insensitive to lidocaine. For the past 15 years and 3 dentists, I've almost always had to get additional lidocaine, sometimes 2 or 3 rounds of injections over a 20 or 30 minute period, even for simple fillings. That time might be split between the initial injection and subsequent injections midway through the procedure. Occasionally the dentists (certainly at least my latest one) breaks out a special alternative, which is injected with a much bigger needle from a comically huge injector.

A few years earlier I had a horrible root canal experience. For years I thought there was a mix-up and they had just forgotten to numb me. I went through the procedure without complaining because I thought it was normal, but I was soaking wet afterward from the sweat. Now I realize it's probably just that I was insensitive to the lidocaine (or whatever they gave me), and they weren't paying attention or didn't care.

I don't usually ask for the additional injections. But sometimes the pain is lightening quick, incredibly intense, and I can involuntarily jerk.[1] Unlike that first dentist, the past three refuse to continue without numbing me more if they sense I'm uncomfortable. I feel bad because sometimes I spend more time in the chair sitting alone, waiting for the injections to soak through and taking up a valuable patient slot than for the procedure. And I'm also a little worried that I'll become increasingly insensitive to these injections.

One trick I've learned that I think helps a little is to take some ibuprofen an hour or two before the appointment.

[1] I handle constant, dull pain much better. Though for all my teeth problems I've never had serious tooth pain outside a dental visit.

I've been to dentists in Boston and Washington state, and I've never had experiences like this. My dentist in Boston (who is awesome) I found off of Yelp reviews. You should ask around for someone better.

Have nothing but absolute rave reviews for dentistry here in Canada. They take great care of you and are always aware of how you're doing and if you're feeling the least bit of discomfort.

The only problem is it's stupid expensive; I get annoyed when my current dentist keeps talking about his yacht. But they're sure trained to provide a high level of care.

Speaking of horror stories. I've had a dentist straight up leave the room and not come back half way through a cleaning.

I complained and didn't get charged, but WTF. I sat in the room with no explanation.

The only thing they did do was create a 3D model of my mouth from some 25 exrays they took.

In the US, it's uncommon for dentist to do cleanings. Are you sure it was t a hygenist?

Also, can get get less dentists that are condescending pricks? Like seriously, your job is to deal with this shit, deal with it, don't complain about it - that's my job and I'm not getting paid for it. You are, shut up.