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Comment by cgb223 | Hacker News Reader

I've gone ahead and deleted this comment for privacy reasons.

Thanks for reading it.

Although stalking can be done by any gender, it does seem that obsessive behaviour and social maladjustment are more masculine traits in general.

That's not to detract from your suffering - I am sorry to hear of your terrible experience at the hands of this creepy, awful woman. I hope you get this resolved somehow.

Or maybe it is just more socially acceptable for men, so they make less effort to hide it and are more willing to turn it outward rather than inward.

At this time, we cannot possibly separate out what is the result of biological wiring and what is the result of how people are socialized. There seems to be some evidence that as women gain power and social status and so forth, they start exhibiting some of the same negative traits that are deemed to be stereotypically male.

It may not be that women are more virtuous. It may just be that women get enormously more social pressure to curb certain tendencies, or at least hide them.

There is a clear correlation between aggression and testosterone levels[1]. People who take steroids are more likely to be violent[2]. Men have more testosterone, and thus act different overall. I'm not saying culture doesn't play a role, but try not to underplay biological differences between men and women overall, because they are definite.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aggression#Testosterone

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anabolic_steroid#roid_rage

Saying that we can't currently separate it out is not the same as saying biology has no effect.

I guess the age-old adage is men say yes, women say no. Guys have to get a yes, and it's a very difficult social maze which clearly brings out the people with mental issues. Men are expected to take initiative and be somewhat persistent, and clearly some can't draw the line. On the other hand, for a woman having to keep throwing herself at a guy, probably destroys the image of a romantic relationship much more quickly.

Then again, there's a lot of crazy people out there...

> Unlike the author, every time they find a new way to reach out to me, I immediately block them.

Could this be gamifying it for the stalker? Like a rat in a maze and you're the cheese?

Just wondering what kind of responses or techniques could break them out of it, like setting up 10's or even 100's of decoy accounts for them to go for and after enough false leads they're discouraged because the effort vs response or cost/benefit ratio is too slanted towards zero return? Perhaps that would just make them all the more encouraged to find the real you.

Well, one Jeremy Becker made the mistake of stalking Andrea Shepard (puellavulnerata) and her friends on Twitter. She tracked him down through his IP address, found his family and employer, and provided links to his tweets. He stopped.

> I've gone ahead and deleted this comment for privacy reasons.

Okay.

> Thanks for reading it.

Please don't attach that. It would be different if you were thanking a specific person that had replied. But this is directed at the general public, and they can't read it anymore, so thanking them 'for reading it' comes across pretty unpleasantly.

Yeah. It's not just you that has these problems but unfortunately not many people say much.

I just don't post images and dumped social media except for some random accounts unrelated to RL. (i.e. HN)

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