Social Media Is the New Smoking
theroamingmind.com
theroamingmind.com
It is already frowned upon in some social circles, occasional browsing is okay but some people can go completely off reality when going through their Facebook feed, I have some friends like this(very introverted), when we met at a bar or restaurant we would make a "phones on the table" rule, first to reach for the phone pays the bill.
For me, the hyperbole of social media dependency is how it changed travel experiences. People always took photos of travels, but social media put that into comical territory.
It is bizarre watching other tourists around, how they navigate from spot to spot to get a picture in some of the most famous places on earth without ever stopping to absorb where they were, they never bothered to understand the history or the architecture behind some place, they have 75 pictures of the same place but probably couldn't tell you the color on the walls five minutes after the picture was taken.
I like to stay at hostels and meet other people(especially when traveling alone), there have always been people in their own bubble, but it is crazy how it changed in the last 3-4 years, everyone is so self-envolved on their phones that they are not even aware of their surroundings, you can come in and out of a room without being noticed, I've seen people spend their entire time locked in a room glued to their phones, sometimes even missing meals.
Sometimes I'll be sitting in a group with a few friends, and I'll be the only one not looking at my phone. I have to tell them to stop trying to socialise with people hundreds of miles away, when there's people right here.
As for travel, I've never bothered taking photos of landmarks, everyone has seen pictures of them before, probably better pictures than I can take.
I listen to podcasts for the same reason, especially during my commute and in shops.
Once I get to work I ditch my earbuds and put on closed over-ear headphones (active noise canceling would be nice but I'm too cheap for it).
I don't regret the photos or videos afterwards, and I do aim for a healthy balance. The reminder is still there though -- I'm there for the live experience, so I should act like it.
We have mostly stopped photographing our travels in favor of experiencing them, some time after the images became essentially write-only files.
After a while, I started noticing people around me, they ported their phones from each of the more popular photo spots and went on to take between 10-60 selfies with slightly varying angles or facial expressions, upon finishing their session not once did they turn back and looked to see where they were.
Also when going to museums saw a lot of people going from display to display, photographing the artifacts/paintings, sometimes they also photograph the description and they won't actually read it.
I'd call it "The Stone Age" or some similar pun.
(Yes, I would put up a sign to that effect notifying people - if they don't like it they can go elsewhere)
It's active interference the FCC takes a dim view to - passive interference (thick walls, loads of metal, etc) is fine.
There's a theater near me that I can get 4-5 bars of LTE outside, 1-2 bars near the doors, 3G just 20 feet inside, and only 1x or a bar of 3G in each screen room.
Don't see the FCC dropping the hammer on them because it's the way the building is constructed, not active interference
It's when I do go into a town that it slaps me in the face, and I think it would be cool to have a "refuge" in the town.
Of course the place would have no TVs either, and likely only very quiet chill music. Everything about it would be to encourage conversation with the people actually in the same room.
This tweet confirms there's a bar with smartphone ban in Weißensee: https://twitter.com/ennopark/status/567272387293761537
Only other "Funkloch" I found in Berlin is a youth center, so the above result is very likely the right one.
I'm kinda this. Honestly though, for the most part I really don't care about whatever famous place I'm at, I'm just there because I know when I get back someone is going to ask did I go to X, Y or Z. So I go, I do that thing to check it off my list and spend my time doing what i actually want, which is usually more nature oriented (wilderness backpacking) and less touristy. I actually pretty much dislike going to the big tourist areas, and want to get done with it as fast as possible so I don't soak it in unless I have a real desire to be there.
I'm not asking as a criticism, just curious. It sounds like this is what many other people are doing, but perhaps they're not aware of their motivation.
When you look at photos you took 10 years ago, you discover that photos of places are boring. Photos of people you know are precious. Aim your camera accordingly.
[Edit: fixed incorrect wording]
Certainly not arguing on the "Photos of people you know are precious" part though.
If you have children you may find yourself losing interest in taking photos without them too. I've many photos now of nice sunsets or rainbows or views with a child awkwardly placed just into frame, because it seems a bit of a waste to take the photo without them in it.
A video encodes such much more information about personality and state of mind, the kinds of things that are much more interesting further down the line
Those things can be difficult to discern from a still image
I took a class in photography once, taught by a famous photographer.
About half-way through the course he did a dead stop, turned to the class and said something like "The most important part of photography is learning when to put the camera down and enjoy the moment instead of trying to capture it"
He then took us on a short tour of important life events he had missed out on because he was too busy trying to get the picture.
It was a poignant moment, and a good lesson.
I don't miss the ten minutes of watching the news before leaving for work that has been replaced with ten minutes of Facebook. Maybe reading a novel for an hour after work is a better use of my time than reading Reddit for an hour, but maybe it's not?
I'm probably not super typical with my social media consumption, but I only use social media to fill the time when my kids are doing their own thing, my wife is on something, and I don't really have time to engage in some activity.
I get that social media is new and alarming that it's such an integral part of our lives, but maybe we need to step away from these hype grabbing headlines. What's the difference if a 10 year old is posting on Instagram, to a 10 year old in the 80s with a Polaroid? If kids talk on snapchat instead of over the fence in the backyard?
Again, I want to stress that I'm not saying we shouldn't look into the negative effects of social media. We certainly should. But we also shouldn't assume these things are bad because people with poor impulse control are ruining their lives.
Counseling and meditation help me with this, but it's on ongoing struggle.
One of my favorite takeaways: "...[the addiction model] along with organizations like AA have people spending their lives thinking that their addiction is outside in the parking lot doing pushups and running laps getting ready to kick their ass.". His point essentially being that addiction is nothing but a learned behavior which can be suppressed and unlearned, but the disease model leaves people feeling helpless to their biology and genetics.
And how is a dis-easing behaviour different from other disabilitating maledies?
I can never tell if these articles are talking about me or not.
I feel like commenting is a waste of time. I often type stuff I end up not posting / deleting 2 minutes later. I never engage in exchanges more than 2 posts long (esp. if its discussing ideas, by then your point should be clearly made and it's worthless).
I read a lot of comments though, mostly at work. I like new ideas or insight in peoples lives and struggles.
I lack citations but here are some observations that I hope are recognised enough to be apparent.
People often find themselves unintentionally browsing Facebook mindlessly.
People also get addicted to the chase of social validation via likes.
People have been shown to be exhibit social anxiety caused by others' lives appearing to be more glamourous than their own thanks to cherry picking and smart photo taking.
Yes. Not just social anxiety, but down right depression.
Source: Research Links Heavy Facebook And Social Media Usage To Depression => https://www.forbes.com/sites/amitchowdhry/2016/04/30/study-l...
> Lead author Lui yi Lin, B.A., who will be graduating from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine this spring, emphasized that, because this was a cross-sectional study, it does not disentangle cause and effect.
> “It may be that people who already are depressed are turning to social media to fill a void,” she said.
The problem is not so much with the addiction to social media itself. There are certainly people who overdo it, but I don't think anyone is arguing that time wasted on Facebook is somehow the downfall of civilization. The real sinister part is the subtle ways in which social media affects your behavior and thoughts when you're not using it.
These 'news feeds' have become people's reality. There is no more critical thought or exploration of a priori ideas for most people. Their world is defined by the 'news' and other information fed to them by algorithms. It narrows your view of reality to a strictly defined set of terms that are easily digestible and form a coherent narrative; the exact opposite of what life really is.
Are you serious? You don't see the massive difference in those comparisons?
My control over my social media engagement ebbs and flows. I haven't achieved nirvana. But I've at least disengaged long enough and enough times that I can see the value in the time you are talking about.
This is the one I do take issue with, because you're disturbing anyone else trying to watch the film. If you're bored with the movie, leave; if you're watching it, watch it.
The problem is smoking feels the same wiether 1 person is doing it or 1 million people do it; social media only really works when everyone you know does it. This makes it even scarier when you realize this will make it exponentially harder for we as a society to make a decent dent in social media: if your high depends on others, you might pressure others into sustaining your high.
Social media is largely a narcissistic pursuit, and studies have repeatedly found that higher social media use is correlated positively with narcissistic personality traits. I wouldn't be surprised to learn the same thing about people with tattoos as well. The number of agonizingly boring people I know who are constantly getting tattoos is absurdly high.
That being said, I know a lot of people who have plenty of tattoos and are not narcissistic at all. But it seems like the recent trendiness of tattoos is somewhat correlated with the everyone is special movement.
Come on! It takes literally nothing to create a Facebook account. You can even use a fake mail and name (it might be against the ToS but you still can). The only thing it will take from you is time. (No it won't make your life worst, just use messenger.com and not the main API with the newsfeed so that people can contact you.)
I would compare that to having a phone back then, when it was kind of the only way to contact you. If you don't want friends, then probably no-one will harass you asking if you have a phone number so you're fine.
Your time, and the crude attempt to model what you consider to be worthy of your time, so that people with money can waste it in just the right way to make you do what they want you to do — watch an ad, buy a product, vote for a policy.
For the benefits that it gives you, I don't see that as a waste. I can keep in touch with all my friends around the world, and I can organize trips, parties, dinners, get invited to weddings, see the new baby of a friend, etc... I'm tired of only reading the bad side of this story.
Of course, every example you just gave can also be done with email, and email doesn't hide things from you just because seeing them means you spend less time using email.
Yeah it can be used for much more. These are just good examples.
> Of course, every example you just gave can also be done with email
It's not practical. That's the point.
It seems you pretend to not understand how a comparison works until you make one yourself, let me demonstrate:
> I would compare that to having a phone back then, when it was kind of the only way to contact you.
Come on! It's just a set of credentials and bytes in databases, not a bunch of plastic and metal. And don't you know that packet switching and circuit switching have like nothing in common? Also, since when were all phones the same shade of uninspired blue, is there any part of this you're not straight making up?
From the perspective of someone who uses Facebook almost entirely to organise weekend drinks and birthday parties, refusing to use Facebook is like refusing to read a pdf or respond to text messages, because it forces your friends to use other tools to stay in touch with you, just to solve a problem they don't have.
YMMV of course.
Smoking also requires millions of people doing it to work. You need enough consumers so that the manufacture of cigarettes is viable, and both acquiring the habit and continuing it are highly dependent on the number of smokers that you surround yourself with.
It would be very difficult to be the only smoker in a large enough community of non-smokers.
Social media can lead to smoking? In what way? I mean beyond the trivial "anything can lead to anything" way.
Avid for revenge, I took a picture of the stunning beach view and wrote in big letters 'MY LIFE IS BETTER THAN YOURS'. At that moment I realized what Facebook is about (without posting anything).
The study and an FB representative both refute that the content of "self-censored" posts is collected.
I look at pictures of my friends doing cool things as inspiration to keep doing cool things. Not in a competitive sense, but seeing my friends having a great time inspires me to keep traveling and keep doing interesting things.
I think the general negative view is because people without the means (for example, money, to travel, for variety of reasons), simply become more miserable as they watch friends travel on FB.
It's probably a more complicated sociological topic. Many would like to paint it just black or white though.
It's like watching someone's highlight reel and thinking their the best player ever. Of course not, no one's ever as good as their highlight reel.
We all have time and means for a vacation or two but when everyone only posts their vacations on a platform like FB, it makes it seem as though everyone's life is wonderful. We never see the day to day drudgery.
As much as everyone shits on Snap, it's been the perfect platform for a more 'realistic' view into the lives of friends and acquittances. You feel a lot more connected with folks when everyone's posting shit like morning coffee, memes, stupid selfies, small wins and the day to day.
I took lots of photos and a bit of video, and I'm really glad I have photos to remember my trip with, especially the photos I have with other people. I haven't found a reason to share them on social media though.
That being said, I did go to a wedding, and I was happy that people shared the photos of that on social media, since the number of people there was way too large to actually make sure everyone in the photos received a copy.
I don't do the facebook thing myself, but close friends do, and they use it as a social organiser, not an arena for braggadocio. Want to get rid of a table? Facebook. Shitty day and want to invite friends to the pub? Facebook. Cat memes? Facebook.
I'm not fond of facebook, but let's face it; you can't blame the hammer if you make a shitty chair with it.
Sure I can, if the hammer has defects that cause it to make terrible chairs for nearly everyone who uses it.
Seriously,there is truth in this statement. People are sinking into their phones and computers and we all think it's amusing. Living peacefully in a society is hard enough when we have to learn to deal with one another. What will happen when we lack those abilities because all we need to do is interact with our technology? Red lights need to be popping up all over the place.
Being wrapped up in social media might serve as a way of pacifying society. When unemployment is rising due to automation and policy, give the masses shiny websites they can spend all day on and lots of computer games, and then they won't get together in real life much and riot. William Gibson envisioned such a future in his recent novel "The Peripheral".
To your point Social Media reminds me of Soma in Brave New World. In the book it was a drug, now it's new technology.
By the way, I highly recommend the book. It's a bit boring now but it's worth reading. It's not too long. It gives lots of good food for thought.
Looking at the current political climate, the exact opposite is happening.
* in the US, actual opiates are also the opiate of the masses, of course
It might not be entirely tinfoil to believe it would lead, in to the words of O'Brien, to this: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever."
The vision put forward in 1984 was fundamentally enabled by a breakdown/loss of empathy, and that's our main ability that's gonna be lost if society develops in the way you've suggested.
I don't think that's ever going to happen. Social networks, contrary to smoking, are built on the very nature of human beings: being social animals. And that's certainly not going away. It would be like wishing that the buddies socializing on the corner would be looked at the same as the guy smoking next to them.
There's no doubt that our natural inclination to socialize is being used and twisted through these slot-machine social networks, but if you're going to wish for something, wish for better social networks, or better education to help people control themselves, just not for humans to stop being social.
It was pretty sad.
Bullshit. After quitting I still went to the smoking area at work just to hang out with the people that were taking a break there. Especially when it was completely accepted smoking was considered very social, like grabbing a beer together still is. The "hey let's grab a smoke" is what I miss about smoking.
It's mostly empty, though.
I think you can always say that you need some fresh air and go out.
Taking a moment to relax and gaze at the stars or enjoy a coffee on your own just sitting there lost in thought is as good an activity as having a smoke. I really don't see people judging other people for it.
Or if you're actually looking for an activity not an excuse, just thinking about a interesting topic/problem and writing down the thoughts going through your head on your phone (or even better onto a piece of paper/notepad, no interruptions) can be an very satisfying activity I found out.
Really helps me to focus on whatever I'm thinking about too.
...ah, the Paul Erdos defense:
http://amphetamines.com/paul-erdos.html
> I spend too much time on my phone, but a lot of it is useful and productive.
Looks like we might need to an another item to the list:
There are many things you can do with a smartphone, many uses are bad, but some are good. I'm in the same case as the post you replied to. I use my smartphone to review flashcards and read books when I commute, and I don't see any better way to use my time.
Social media in my opinion is an oxymoron.
I can’t think of much less social than sitting by yourself, in your own little world, consuming an endless feed of nothing on a web site. If there’s anything Social Media isnt, it’s “social”.
Every once in a while I will scroll through my Twitter feed (desktop browser). I follow a lot of pixel art artists so I get to see some interesting things.
However, I don't want this on my phone anymore. My phone will only have the actually utilities I need. Phone, SMS, maps, email and a decent battery life.
Also, I turned off all notifications on my phone as well. I.e, don't interrupt me. I'll get to it when I get to it.
The big kicker for me quitting was that if I became the slightest bit stuck on a task at work, I would reach for my phone and get lost in the instavoid.
Since I quit I have been much more productive and also noticed I don't habitually dive into social media when I become bored.
Now being "off the drug", I am more aware of others' usage and feel uneasy about it. Watching my wife mindlessly pop open the app and scroll through her feed, sometimes exiting conversations midway through makes me realize that I had been doing the same things for years. I've also noticed that I have less desire to take pictures, and I'm not concerned with them being perfect - I only want enough to document my life for my own memories, not to garner likes or to craft my public image.
Having to go on Facebook occasionally (like responding to an event invite), I still feel the siren's call to just scroll through the feed a little. But I know that reading one post won't be enough, so I'll keep scrolling and scrolling...so I try to avoid even letting my gaze fall on it.
As you can tell, I'm on the cynical side of things. It hurts my social life no doubt. Perhaps this is similar to being a non-smoker in the 40s. Hell, I bet that I'm a victim of second hand social media.
Thanks for this term.
In that time I went through exactly the same process I did when I quit smoking. I became aware suddenly of all the time, all the gaps, all the moments that I had filled with a quick look at my phone.
And once it passed - elation, freedom, seeing the world with open eyes and a clear head.
I was sad when my new phone arrived, and looking back I wish I had found a way to stay clean.
I didn't close the account because it's actually useful for some situations (found a lost dog last week and need to post about it so I can find the owner). But other than that, it feels awful to log back into Facebook. I left messenger installed because of the same reason I have whatsapp. It's actual chat, not posting pics or whatever (and I don't care about the "status" that some contacts share).
Anyone have success stories to share? I've tried adding various sites to my hosts file. But I seem to lapse after a while, since I can restore the file anytime I want to. Any negative reinforcement ideas? Like an annoying sound (baby shrieking?) played or an electrical shock when browsing to particular sites? Any methods to prevent yourself from uninstalling things like that though?
Any ideas on how long it might take to get over any "withdrawl" period? Like you only need to "tough it out" for a month, and then it becomes more manageable?
You should also turn notifications off--once Facebook notices you haven't logged in lately, they'll start sending you random "activity" notifications to draw you back in.
As for my laptop, I just signed out of Facebook in my browser. That was enough of a deterrent to keep me away. (I also deleted my quicklinks to my feed as well.)
It took me about a month and now I don't even think about it.
I have read that TV watching strongly correlates to people having exhausting jobs. So, they come home and zone out in front of the TV, too tired to do anything else. I think social media serves a similar function for many people. But if you crave social connection and you are getting it primarily via social media, it is sort of like eating a single potato chip when you are hungry.
Go find better social connections and these faux social connections won't be a case of "I can't believe I ate the whole bag and now I want to vomit, yet I'm still hungry too!" I think of addictive activities as those which grow a hunger rather than satisfying a hunger. If you find a way to satisfy your need, addictive things are less tempting because you just aren't starving anymore.
Also, just get more rest so you aren't spending so much time doing empty activities because it is all you have the energy or mental focus for. Or otherwise rearrange your life so that you are getting the depth or density you need of a particular thing and these types of behaviors get crowded out by healthier ones.
Unfortunately it seems the only real method is indeed "toughing it out". Books help a lot in this regard as whenever you feel the pang you can start reading. Since this activity involves concentration over longer periods of time and no task switching, it's tremendously helpful to rewire your brain over time. You definitely feel the effects after a few weeks.
By the end I felt that I engaged with the world a lot more with a feeling that my perception was sharpened.
It felt great but didn't last long on my return. Because my life involves computers.
Today the idea of spending almost a month away from a PC would mean I'd have to quit my job.
But if I had the opportunity again, I would love to unplug myself. Not sure if I'd have the willpower though.
> will social media become the new smoking?
No. Smoking produces cancer, that makes some people really worried. It is even worst if you are pregnant.
> Will browsing your phone anticipating the next notification become a dirty habit that others will shun you for?
No. Unless there are other more cool ways of social media. If you are still using My Space, maybe you already feel like this.
> There are a few instances where it works well but for every 1 nugget of goodness that there is, there are 4 nuggets of bad.
Supported by which data?
> I know I am sounding negative here, but it is the truth.
Ooooh, it's the true. Duh.
> I always feel better after interacting with someone face-to-face.
Me too. Social media doesn't exclude the possibility to have human interaction unless you are in a 90s movie connected to a VR headset. If that happens, you are trapped in "the computer world" and lost for ever.
> social media will never feel like a true genuine connection.
Because it is not. Reading a newspaper doesn't feel either as a "genuine connection", but keeps me up to date with the news. Sending a mail doesn't feel either as a "genuine connection", but I get my job done.
> While naive to believe so, I have to hope that when my son becomes ready to consume the social media lifestyle, by then it will have been a passing fad and ostracized like the cigarette packages of today.
Or he can be educated to understand for what is useful, and for what not, and what are the risks. Abstinence education doesn't work.
>Or he can be educated to understand for what is useful, and for what not, and what are the risks. Abstinence education doesn't work.
I don't disagree outright but unfortunately all the education in the world still makes a person vulnerable against societal pressure. If you are a non-smoker in the 1940s, you still have to breathe smoke wherever you are. If you are a non-user in the 2010s, your social life (especially if you are young) is highly likely to be negatively impacted.
I can't imagine that growing up with an iPhone and access to FB/IG/Snap from elementary school onward is a healthy experience for kids from a mental health/social anxiety POV. I guess only time will tell.
I'd also imagine being a teacher these days would suck because of phones. I don't know how schools manage that these days.
But now every 10 year old has their own smartphone, and they are dialed into Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and the internet-at-large 24 hours a day, and while there are obvious benefits in terms of convenience, there is also an "ick" factor to it for me.
In 2013 I gave up Facebook and it felt like a deadweight lifted. I stopped worrying about what acquaintances were up to. Friends and I kept in touch through conventional conversation. I endured the same awful feeling with Instagram when I moved 3000 miles away from my friends and family.
Everyone is crafting an online identity of how they want to appear and we all know we're doing it. There's little room for raw, unedited perception. Every moment has to be post card or else you don't measure up. Networks like Facebook and Instagram are a self-fulfilling prophecies of low self esteem.
Then I realize I'm the old guy in the corner.
I think this is a really well thought article. I can sort of see the equivalent of The Insider in 20 years time, with Zuck at a congress hearing saying that 'social media' is not addictive.
I started with slashdot in 96/97? then Reddit, now hacker news. Twitter might be the same but I don't partake.
The fundamental problem is you read yesterday's news instead of inventing the future.
..and this my friend, is such an understatement. I wish everyone hooked on social media to read this phrase every hour.
I do, indeed, read HN, because it does offer some insights in the future. I had lots of ideas from the shared articles and associated comments.
Well at least you're prevented from reinventing the wheel ;)
The opening sentence is about not paying attention and yet it contains two glaring errors, spelling and grammatical.
Did this individual really not even bother to proof read their opening sentence? Maybe the author might be better asking "is blogging the new fast food?"
by djyaz1200 62 days ago on: Facebook – cancer of our generation"
[1] http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory/teenage-driver-li...
I think social media addiction and general internet addiction is destroying the mental health of millions of people around the developed world and nobody is doing much about it. Just as we look back now and go "oh my god they used to smoke in restaurants!" our children may say "holy crap look at this picture of my parents on the phone while they walk!". It's all-consuming.
That said, comparing it to smoking is not broad enough. It's more like social media (and by extension the internet) is more like the 'new water' - a fundamental aspect of living whether we like it or not at this point. For instance, even if you don't partake in social media, the top political figures of the day are, and thus your life is being directly affected one way or the other.
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/06/the-c...
My mother who's trying albeit mostly failing to wean herself from smoking has become addicted to social media to the point where she becomes actively hostile when her internet is out.
She is literally addicted to Facebook in the exact same way as cigarettes. She needs her fix.
I think for people who become easily addicted to things, it's a very easy thing to become addicted to.
And before you say "it's different", HN is just a different flavor of clickbait from FB, more in tune with what happens tickles your feels.
The comparison is not a strong one
Sometimes, these can reveal important things about our personalities. One of my addictions is particular kinds of information. Complex and novel ideas, long-form essays, "insight porn." The type of things I gravitate towards reading tells a lot about me and what I find interesting in this world. I'd like to make some kind of dent in the universe in these spaces I find interesting before I die. Sure it might suck when I end up reading too much at the expense of something else, but what can I say, that's what I enjoy.
For those whose lives revolve around social media like Facebook or Instagram, their attention might be largely allocated towards validation, a sense of belonging, identity. Things that are not necessarily new to a post-Facebook world. In an alternative universe, maybe they're doing some other kind of social climbing or image-crafting. I'd never hold that against somebody if that's what they're wired towards. I say, own it and use it as an asset in your life.
An addiction is a habit, and a habit is merely a stable pattern of human behavior. All of our non-novel behaviors are habits. The things our mind gravitates towards are habits. I think it crosses into a "negative addiction" once a habit starts to become detrimental to something we want out of our lives. That's when we should be concerned.
We are flawed, suboptimal creatures. It's ok to give into our addictions, good and bad. We should incorporate addictions as constraints in our models of living, working, interacting. We'll always have them. In my experience, trying to get rid of certain habits hurt me because they served a function to my well-being or personality.
You need to understand your own addictions. If a sense of belonging is important to your personality, you will feel a void in your life without it. There's a reason why poor men in third world countries might partake in cockfighting culture with other men rather than spend it on food.
That being said, I don't think the negatives of social media are all that bad. I would argue that grade school is way more toxic than social media. Social media usually makes a convenient target for those in the "good old days before technology," "humans need authentic human connection" camp.
I am willing to extend a platform+API metaphor and grant that social media (the platform) allows us to build an external layer of ourselves (the API) that becomes the means with which others interact with us while while we hide our internals, but you'll have to convince me that that's mostly a bad thing. I don't think appealing to an "authentic human connection" value works. Sounds like a win for technology if you ask me!
Here's the thing. Social media is still a choice. Contrast this to the toxic and unnatural environment that is high school, which is forced upon us.
Social media feeds our insecurities? Well, high school created them in the first place.
Technology almost always affords you the freedom to engage or disengage. Take online dating for example. In the "good old days," men would have to impress and court a whole family just to date one person -- you're essentially dating a whole family. Now you can just find someone online within minutes, and start connecting with the one person you actually want to. Is some dude harassing you online? You're free to block him with the click of a button or just turn off the app. Sure there are tradeoffs, but the key here is choice.
Think freedom to respond to a text whenever you want vs being "on-call" all the time.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you are hanging out with people who are constantly on their phones, then the truth is, they are making a personal choice to disengage from that situation, and they value more whatever's going on in the "real internet world" rather than the "tiny bubble" that is the room you guys are sitting in. Maybe the latest meme or what's happening in North Korea is more interesting. The actual problem is a mismatch between you and your company. Technology simply affords them choices in dealing with social expectations they might not actually want.
Facebook is not the end game, and technology can do better. But I think pointing fingers at social media for ruining us all is a bit silly.