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Comment by mhb | Hacker News Reader

Why do people get married? It's a poorly defined contract with ill-defined consequences into which they enter apparently because it's what everyone else does to signal their feelings. Similar to giving a diamond engagement ring or using off-the-shelf business forms.

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You are not marrying another person. You are marrying the other half of YOU. And not your better half either, simply your other half. It's not about love either. Love (as commonly used) lasts 3 years. Don't marry for love or you'll get divorced in 3 years. There needs to be a deeper, quieter, but more constant emotion.

I actually wonder whether marriage should have a time limit specified. Its a better fit to reality : people living longer, large proportion divorcing after 5 years, sequential marriages to different people.

"I love you darling, will you spend the next 12 years with me to raise a child together?".

This is not purely cynical... I think its so cool when two people who have been married for 15 years decide to celebrate with second marriage ceremony to launch them into the next 15.

The time commitment should set the financial arrangements when you divorce - Ending a life long marriage might split 50/50 whereas ending a 10yr marriage might confer a 15% mix of wealth shared.

> I actually wonder whether marriage should have a time limit specified.

Some places do, down to a matter of hours. It's a slick way around prostitution laws and moral qualms.

A lot of people take that kind of 'marriage' as one big stinking ball of hypocrisy and generally don't like it.

A lot of people don't like a lot of things, so what? It still happens. When the laws of a country are based on religion and pre-marital sex is not allowed, solutions like this are bound to happen; it is inevitable.

How would that work when they find out that they want to spend the next 10 years together?

I ask because my grandparents have been together for 50 years, my parents for 20, and I am pretty certain that both marriages will last to the death.

"I think its so cool when two people who have been married for 15 years decide to celebrate with second marriage ceremony to launch them into the next 15."

You just have another ;)

Ummm, it takes a minimum of 18 years to raise a child. If you continue to "raise" the child through college, add at least another four. If you have more than one child, you hit the timer reset every time.

Getting married to raise a child is essentially a lifetime commitment, at least for one of the two getting married.

Because your relationship has reached a point where you're both sacrificing a LOT just to be together. You're planning the rest of your life with the idea that she (or he) will be a part of it. Why? Because you're in love and you wouldn't want a future without the other person.

So why get married? Because you don't want the other person to be capable of throwing all of your sacrifices away on a whim just because you hit a rough patch.

So why get married? Because you don't want the other person to be capable of throwing all of your sacrifices away on a whim just because you hit a rough patch.

Not sure this is really HN fodder but since we're on the subject.

That you give two almost completely diametrically opposed reasons for marriage says a lot about the schizophrenia of the institution. Marriage is simultaneously an expression of love and solidarity and a business contract with the potential for extremely stiff penalties in breach. It's the ultimate "trust but verify" of human relationships. The longer you ponder this the stranger the whole idea seems.

It's a contract that allows you to express love and solidarity, knowing that it's unlikely[1] it'll all be thrown away some point later down the line.

[1] Becoming much more likely these days!

Children.

Taxes

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