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>and then we're coming for notepad.

If they ever do that, Metapad will still be there to help. Though I'm mainly a vi/vim/gvim user, I use metapad sometimes for quick edits. It's very lightweight, but still supports some more features than notepad. It has some neat features. The developer has stopped working on it, but I think a) he released the source code (C or C++ using the Win32 API) and b) the download is still there on his site.

Search for metapad or metapad download.

Note: if using Metapad, might want to tweak the default options a bit before using it for anything important. E.g. I seem to remember that ESC exits the file you are editing, maybe without warning. Other than a minor thing or two like that, it's a neat tiny text editor, though - IMO.

Calculator was replaced by UWP version two years ago.

Hahaha! Best @#$%ing comment in this whole thread.