Dating for nerds (part 1): problem diagnosis

p.migdal.pl

31 points·stared··8 comments

I think this skips out probably what is the biggest hurdle for "nerds"; you can't trick your crushes into liking you back by being a nice friend to them.

This. One of my biggest takeaways from the book by Mark Manson - Models.

There are many books on the subject, Models is a good one. I don't see why anyone would waste time trying to write some web page about why nerds in particular have a hard time dating.

Social awkwardness is a well covered subject in this and many other books. Even better, it's covered by people who have more than theory to back their ideas.

Things related to friendzone will go in part 3. In short: no, just being nice is not enough (cf: no one will hire you just because haven't stolen anything).

Though, the most common thing that is missing is not taking risks - most of the time nerd fail to ask question (and of course, rejection is possible - but still better to be stuck in a limbo).

Its not even that, its disingenuous because you're being their friend in the hopes you'll get a payout.

I think we are talking about two different phenomena. (You mention a sneaky way how to get into a relationship, I mentioned lack of communication.)

Just for god's sake don't date washed up 30+ year old ones unless you are 40. No, they are not attracted to you but rather you IT salary.

Story time?

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