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Comment by mathgenius | Hacker News Reader

Two more ideas from me:

1) Toastmasters. This is like alcoholics anonymous for people that are addicted to shyness. And very likely there will be some people there that are even more quiet and introverted than you are.

2) Social dancing. I'm guessing you are male, in which case you will be in high demand. Even if you are overweight & ugly as sin, if you can keep a beat then the girls are gonna want some. If you are as intelligent as you sound then this is also a big plus: the smart people end up being the best dancers. And it's not about talking or being interesting, it's about the mechanics of space and time (physics and music). I would recommend tango: this is where all the real nerds end up.

Getting over the fear is not going to happen on its own. Instead I would suggest finding something where you are more excited than afraid.

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It seems like dancing is a super popular suggestion.

I keep saying to myself that I'd be no good and it'd be embarassing, not to mention I'm not (never have been) a "dancer" but I'm thinking this swarm intellect might have a point... And perhaps I should seriously consider signing up for a beginner dance class.

Any reason why Tango is where the nerds end up?

Hm, if a pugilist can learn how to dance[1], you can too. You don't have to become John Travolta or anything, just knowing the steps is enough most of the times :-)

[1]: Sting - "The night the pugilist learned how to dance" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SptmkMYQdRs

Tango is the most free: every step is improvised. Maybe at the beginning the focus is on sequences (of steps), but you quickly leave this behind. So the "nerds" like this because you can do all kinds of creative stuff, without having to stick to "one-two-cha-cha-cha" or whatever. For some people this is too much, and they need sequences, but for me I am hopeless at memorizing the moves but am good at just negotiating the basic mechanics of the situation. Tango is also very "introverted": from the outside it doesn't look like much is happening! (i'm not talking about performance tango obviously..)

I would suggest you try whatever dance attracts you. For example, consider if you like the music. You might like swing, but I find it's too energetic & bouncy for me. Salsa always seems to have the music up way too loud. If you do try tango, stay away from "ballroom" tango, the real one is the argentine tango.

But yeah, be prepared to be not good at it at the start! It should be ok though, especially if you enjoy it, it wont matter how many moves you can do. It's all about letting go of the thinking mind and just being present to the moment.

Here's ~5 years tango dancer @ HN :) From where I am now tango actually seems an unnatural choice for nerds. Of all the social dances tango is one of the most intimate in terms of personal space, which makes any nerd nervous and clumsy. On the other hand, it seems like one of the least physically demanding - check out Buenos-Aires 70+ grandpas on YouTube. I think it is a combination of two: crave for intimacy plus actual ability to imagine oneself as a hero of those videoclips, as opposed to fit and dexterous lads from swing and boogie-woogie, or half-naked machos from salsa, kizomba and bachata :)

There is also a point of general availability. When you check out your typical dance studio around the corner, there are salsa, hustle, swing and tango. Of those aforementioned tango seems most promising from romantic point of view.

Just to widen the definition of nerd a little: doctors, engineers, artists, scientists, architects... There seems to be alot of deeply intelligent & smart people in Tango.

Another fan of Toastmasters here. If you're local to the Bay Area, my friend runs a kind and impressive chapter in Mountain View. They are called the Sierra 49ers.

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