From the trade, we in the USA get cheaper products and low-cost loans/investment.
We then enact counter-productive feel-good policies that make us less competitive:
- employment-depressing labor rules (ranging from minimum wages to complex and expensive mandates)
- corporate welfare (including bailouts)
- subsidies for politically-popular activities (like home ownership and acquisition of often-superfluous academic credentials)
These choices are not the fault of the Chinese. At worst, because our trade with the Chinese makes us wealthier, we can then afford to make bigger mistakes elsewhere before correcting course. We spend the surpluses from trade on our anti-competitive policy luxuries.
"Winning" won't require getting tough on the Chinese, but getting tough on ourselves.
Basically we traded owning our own production for renting production from overseas. Renting often has lower immediate costs but higher long-term costs (and less freedom).
Looking like a duck and quacking like a duck doesn't depend on your silly definition of "war." What China is effectively doing is waging war on the US. Whether we wake up to this fact or not will determine whether the US becomes a nation of the rich in fortified castles sitting amongst the poor and desperate, or whether we return to the American Dream.
The market for American goods increases as the Chinese middle class grows. Chinese consumers don't prefer cheap knockoffs, they buy them because they can't afford the most expensive genuine article. Look at the Chinese market for luxury cars as an example of what will happen with increasing speed: http://magazine.wsj.com/features/the-state-of-luxury/cars/
Granted, US car makers aren't in great shape right now, but other industries can take advantage of the Chinese appetite for luxury consumer goods (electronics, cosmetics etc). The elecronics may be manufactured in China, but the profit margins are mainly with the US companies who designed and developed them.
Savvy US companies can sell their goods in increasing volume due to the larger overall global market. Many US multinationals make large chunks of their profit overseas, yet you don't hear people saying the US should enter into trade wars with South America, Europe or Australia.