In everywhere I've lived, the pressure to build has usually won out because the neighboring municipality will let someone build if the first one doesn't. So urbanism slowly creeps in. seems weird that it never has in 20 years out there.
I suspect a lot has to do with what draws many people to California in the first place. (In addition to jobs, which are more recent in many cases.) Those reasons didn't include remolding the Bay Area in the image on New York City and New Jersey.