And others say that you can't solve the problem of exclusion by having exclusivity. You can instead lead by example, which is not the same as pretending that the problem don't exist.

Then there are alternatives solutions which don't include either inclusivity nor exclusivity. Instead you address underlying issues that create the unwanted behavior. That too would not be people pretending that the problem don't exist, but rather a indirect way to solve the problem.

Different solutions have different drawbacks and benefits. Criticism of one don't mean the denial of the problem.

Right. And I've never said that it didn't.