Thanks for the honesty, let me give you some practical advice and maybe a birdseye view of your situation (or at least how I think about it)

- From your wording, I think you're looking too far ahead in the future, emphasising the long journey ahead of you.

- What I'd suggest you doing, is, kind of like this little post, start extremely TINY.

1. Pick a field you're interested in. Don't overthink it, you don't have to spend the rest of your life with this one decision. Just pick 1 thing in the next 8 seconds. It's just a tiny little experiment.

2. Find a non-profit organisation within that category that you can support with voluntary work. Again... don't overdo it. Just helping them spread the word, or simply sending them an email of appreciation for the work they're doing is a great start.

3. From the action you take in step 2, use the positive feeling you've gained to do an other tiny act of goodness. Potentially write about each tiny action you take, and keep a blog about those positive feeling/findings/etc.

I'm curious to follow your journey.

Small steps ahead, and before you know it, you can look back at a long trail of awesomeness, appreciating how you got there. Instead of looking to the future, not knowing how to get there.