Ask HN: How do you network on the road/in a new city?

When I was growing up, I moved around a ton because of my Dad's career. Between a bad stutter and the stigma of always being the new kid, making friends was never easy. But, I learned some amazing things about networking. Odd, isn't it, how some of the worst things that happen to us as kids turn out to be some of our greatest gifts as adults??

Here are some of the best things that I learned.

1.) Don't approach people who are standing alone; approach groups of two. Whenever you approach a group of two, there is a very good chance that at least one of the two want out of the conversation.

2.) Learn to smile whenever you see someone.

3.) If you smile at the same person twice, it is time to introduce yourself.

4.) You don't matter. Ask lots of questions and put the focus on the person who you are talking to.

5.) Proximity is very important. If you want to make friends in a hurry, learn to situate yourself in a place with a steady stream of people. Standing at a buffet table is a cliche because it works.

Meetups are a great way to find people interested in the same things you are interested in. And since you can target by distance to where you'll be as well as dates, you can have a schedule ahead of time.

When I was in Berlin a couple of years ago I had checked out what hackerspaces existed there ahead of time and I'd chatted briefly with some of the people at one of the places through IRC. I was only staying in Berlin for a few days so I wasn't looking to build any long-lasting relationships with anyone (though there is nothing wrong in networking even if you're not going to stay some place) but I met a lot of friendly people and a couple of them were so welcoming that if I wanted to I think I could have built some pretty good relationships with them.

I'd avoid going out entirely with the goal to network - it puts you into the wrong mindset, and people will pick up on it. The majority of people don't enjoy networking for the sake of networking.

Go somewhere people gather. Bars, clubs, meetups, work functions, really anything is fine. Be social. Expect nothing. Followup with the people you have a genuine connection with and they'll introduce you to their friends when the time is right. If you don't make a genuine connection, move on.

If you consistently do this, you'll build out a useful, large group of friends who actually care about you. Hopefully you care about them too.

Use an app like the one we are releasing. It's specifically designed to solve this problem. People post what they want to do and others join. For now use meetup.com