1. iPod and iTunes is one package. You use both to get the iPod experience and iTunes manages play counts, user behaviors, album covers, ratings, and store purchases. If you just wanted a mp3 player then get a cheap Asian one but complaining about how the iPod isn't right for you just seems like a waste of your time and God's time.
2. AT&T signed the partnership contract while T-Mobile and Verizon didn't. You're obviously a man of very important stature, you should give those CEOs a ring to get this resolved.
3. Apple Updates is a delivery platform for updates AND software. Last I recall, using Windows XP's update feature they would push software to me all the time too. How's that IE7 uninstall process going?
4. Flash churns up quite a lot of CPU cycles. That leads to battery usage. Which leads to unhappy users. Oh, since you're an arbiter of technology you can help me solve this problem: how do you create an interface for Flash applications to recognize your fat finger tips as a single pixel mouse pointer or how to make multitouch work on a Flash application without creating false positive contacts? Oh, wait, it might actually require some time and knowledge with iPhone's interface? No wonder that's why they opted to push that webapp solution instead and how everything on the iPhone are BIG BLOCKS or BIG BUTTONS? As for Java, you got me there.
You also must be new to Apple ideology. Apple as a company pushes innovation and it does so at the expense of its small user base. But at the same time, if it was up to the majority to decide on when to start using the mouse, stop using floppy disks, start using CD-ROM, and start using USB well... it'll be never. They're in a great position by being 'small' and not having to kowtow to customers (really, how smart are customers?) and if anything it's going to be their popularity that's going to trip them up. The bigger the user base the more noise and lamer whining.