> the types required to apply the function are statically analyzed from the format string.

Not so, in that Haskell package:

    Prelude Text.Printf> printf "%d\n" 1
    1
    Prelude Text.Printf> printf "%d\n"
    *** Exception: printf: argument list ended prematurely
    Prelude Text.Printf> printf "%d\n" 0.5
    *** Exception: printf: bad formatting char 'd'
    Prelude Text.Printf> printf "%d\n" 1 2
    1
    *** Exception: printf: formatting string ended prematurely

It could certainly be done with TH/QQ. I'm not sure, offhand, if there is already a package to that effect.