> As an employee I'd factor in the commute when making decisions about a job.
Meaning you make concessions to either where you live or where you work. Isn't that a sign that it's not completely your choice? If all jobs could be done from home you would have all choices of housing available.
> do you view the clothes that someone (only) wears to a traditional in-person office as rightfully the responsibility of the employer? Lunch?
Same reasoning here: The only way you're not making concessions is if you happen to like the clothes that fit within the dress code of the company (if any).
And as for lunch, I've done IF for a few years (stopped a while back), and it's really difficult if you don't tailor it around work when it comes to work lunches, fitting meetings, available restaurants around work if you don't bring your own lunch, etc.
I don't have much problems with either of it, as I've accepted it as status quo, but it's obviously not a free choice.