Demo Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-KB_MkvhPk
* "Meet Nudge Rewards" can cut to the iphone screen, but it'd be nice to throw in a zoom onto your logo there, as "Meet" seems like a verb where you wanna introduce your branding quite prominently. If the logo zoom situation ain't great, I'd use a shot of tapping on the icon and cut out after a second or two of showing the app's loading screen just to get more visible branding.
• Instead of animating each new word in, use that animation for emphasis. It's jarring as is, and hard to read, and definitely contributes to the sense of the video being fractured.
• I'd combine the "facitilate conversation and collaboration" with "In real time", and letting that demo run unbroken.
The text doesn't pop with the beat, nothing big bug kinda odd feeling imo.
At the end I don't really get what the app is about, some news thing within the company. And/or some performance tracking for each employee.
And the iOS wallpaper is like iOS 8 style.
As a whole, I think you have the style and feel down pretty well (not very original though) you just need to simplify it a bit.
More important, I do not get any key idea from the video. Maybe I am not the expected audience of the product.