I like the style, it's a nice story but I completely missed the point of the ending :)
On a side note, I wish there was an aggregator like HN or a subreddit for short fiction. In the past year, I remember the Machine Stops being shared here as well as Bartholomew F. Bartholomew, which I really enjoyed. This one wasn't as satisfying, but it captured my attention for about 20 minutes.