I have known a number of people, including my ex, who needed some time to successfully make the transition without bringing baggage home. When my ex was having a bad day at work, he would come home and spend about an hour on his computer before he could talk with me without it going weird places. I have had conversations with people who talked about "Yeah, this is the real reason I stop at my favorite pub on the way home. Not for the beer per se, but so I have some time to myself between work and home."

You might also try working on this nutritionally. I have recently had good results with upping my consumption of vitamin C to get excess anger under control.