Everything else follows from that. The fact that employees get any shares at all is just a way to get better employees so that the company does well. Only employees of unicorns have any chance of getting wealthy from stock, and you're unlikely to be an early employee of a unicorn.
It's better to view the situation in absolute terms rather than relative terms. Instead of comparing the outcomes of founders/VCs vs employees, compare an employee of a startup to an employee of non-startups. At not-startups, the working environment is very different. Some people enjoy that, some prefer the opposite. Also, getting +$100k (or +$50k, or even just +$10k) is still nice, even if the founders and VCs get 800x more.
The only part I have serious concerns about is the fact that you can end up underwater when it comes time to exercise your options, i.e. your tax bill outweighs whatever profits you'd see. I don't know exactly how this situation arises, but it happened to a friend. It was something like: he could have exercised his shares and gotten several hundred thousand, but he would've needed to pay about $100k in taxes beforehand. Since he didn't have that money, he couldn't exercise the options.
I might be wrong about the specifics, but there are situations similar to that, and it's pretty unnerving knowing that you can jump into a situation where your +$100k somehow turns into -$50k.