I used to be married and that was my mindset. I knew if we started a family my resentment would be toxic, working a stressful job that you can't grow or learn from is horrible. Having people who don't do their jobs well depending on you all the time, then going home and having more people that depend on you all the time. That's just too much for me, I would break down quickly.

It makes sense to me that people ignore all that and just focus on providing for family, but I just don't know how to do that. If my job doesn't work for me, it colors my whole life.

Exactly. As long as I'm in a field that I love (Software Engineering), and there's a demand is above supply for engineers I will always look for a job that lets me work on projects that are interesting. If after 2 years of employment I don't feel satisfied, I will look for a new job (even though I could stay and keep making money).

Or a means to get healthcare for chronic, pre-existing conditions.