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Hmm, so if I apply some deep learning training techniques it seems like the takeaway from this is: Change your first name to Markus.

Correct. Because as we know correlation = causation.

Highly relevant chart, and subsequent proof, for this: http://i.imgur.com/3B0pt3M.png

You may also like this huge collection of spurious correlations http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

I like the top comment for that on imgur.

>This could be telling the story of IE users being murdered out of existence.