Quoting you, "I'm just not sure how anyone could claim that an OS that updates without your permission, sends and stores your encryption keys, captures browser history and all keystrokes, etc is not considered malware."
I'm making that claim and I don't think you have a clue on how security works.
1. Transmitting encryption keys is something many people want as it removes the overhead of them having to manage them on their own. Businesses use this too (via the cloud) in many cases. As for doing it in the background - how else should it do it? Have a big flashy screen that will confuse the average user? This feature allows Microsoft to gradually raise the bar on its OS security and prevent data recovery from physically stolen devices; while still allowing the user to recover their data if they lock themselves out.
2. The cost comparison is valid. Disk is cheap, and key management should be (this I don't know) automated. Microsoft stores tons of data already (all major software vendors do).
3. Windows Updates should trend towards automation frankly for the consumer versions of the product. Those versions don't have sufficient security features to not get updated.
4. No PII is sent with the core dumps; it's debugging information and helps make the product more secure - that's kind of something you want right?
5. The NSA key is a known falsehood. I'm not even going to bother to address it.
I'm honestly not sure if you're a troll or a rabid conspiracy theorist at this point.