Ask HN: I feel my dream slipping away

Five minutes after winning the presidential election of 1904, Teddy Roosevelt vowed not to seek re-election in 1908. Six minutes after, he regretted what he had just said. He tried to return in 1912, but failed and regretted his hasty decision the rest of his life.

Why do I mention this? Because whenever I feel like I'm in a difficult situation (not all that much different from yours), I promise myself not to pull a Teddy Roosevelt and do something hasty that I'll regret forever. Neither should you.

FWIW, time is not slipping away. In spite of what you may think here at hn, 30 is not old.

My suggestion: keep your job and stay on your path to a green card, but find a way to do it and your startup at the same time. You have to get creative. Put in a few hours on your startup before work, not after. Get rid of you TV set. Block out huge blocks of time on weekends. Use your PTO for your startup. Work from home a few days a week and squeeze in extra startup work with the time/energy you save. You get the idea.

You're already creative enough to build a startup. Now use that creativity to free up more time and energy to work on it. Forget about the competition and time slipping away; just do the best you can. And don't pull a Teddy Roosevelt.

Fair advice. I was in a similar situation and blew the whole thing off. I could not regret it more. Be patient an you'll get your reward.

Agree with edw519 on many points, but those suggestions are not a long-term solution. Take his advice as "hope" medicine for your current situation. But I wouldn't say keep waiting for green card and keep running your startup in the part-time.

I'm in the same boat. And I completely understand how frustrating it is. So take this thread's advice to come out of frustration, but don't stop to find a real solution.

I'm also working to find a solution for this problem. Talked to few people who have done this before, reading some info on http://lawbench.com regarding similar cases, talked to lawyers and will be talking more lawyers for specific personal situation. Everyone's situation is different so general advice won't apply in such cases.

At the end, don't give up. Find a solution. Don't settle down for the part-time. I'm not going to settle for part-time either. Worst case, I'll have to take extreme steps once I know that I knew all possible solutions, and tried all of them, but there is just a solution that fits my situation. At that stage, Teddy Roosevelt's situation won't look similar to ours - and it will make sense to quit Green Card trap and take a leap.

edw, your practicality and wisdom always blows me away. You should write a book for engineers. I'm not sure what would go in it, but it would nevertheless be interesting.

But what is the Teddy Roosevelt decision, staying in the job or quitting? Saying "I have to be in America"?

I am 37 now and I think time IS slipping away. (Note: I am not the OP)

Statistically speaking, you've lived about half of your life. A little under, depending on country. I suppose you are a glass half empty sort of fellow?

Really though, it's not so bad. We all face utter oblivion; the question is "When?" and not "If?" Live peacefully and with confidence. Be content that you do not live in Swaziland. Thirty-seven years is a long time to yet exist.

The thing is, I haven't done anything all that great yet (by my own standards). If I just keep going on as I did before (ie staying in boring jobs), how am I to expect that in my second half, something exciting will magically happen? Some opportunities are already gone forever, ie nobody will cast me as a singer in a boy group anymore (just saying). I keep hoping that one day there will be a market for rock stars who only started playing their instruments in their 60ies...

I don't think the glass is half empty. Despite all the problems, I think the world is an amazing place with countless interesting things to do. I am just not in favor of the "play it safe and keep your day job" advice, because time definitely is finite (though I am rooting for the singularity guys). I am not in a position to really advise against it, though - what if somebody quits their job and ends up broke and miserable? Everybody has to decide for themselves, I guess.

I think "fear is the greatest enemy" is true, though - what exactly is the day job buying you? Also think in opportunity costs - what could you do in the time you weren't working for the man?

Usually I would agree about quitting the job and just going for it. Like you said, time is finite. But, one does have to consider the details of one's situation.

what exactly is the day job buying you?

In the OP's case, US citizenship, which means a lifetime of opportunity to build businesses in a free country which he/she likes living in. Two years of steady income, while still working on your business on the side, sounds like a good bargain.

Of course, your situation must be different, so you would have to decide accordingly.

True, 2 years seems like an acceptable price in that case. I don't have the citizenship issue, so I am not losing anything besides money. Since citizenship (presumably) can't be bought by money, the stakes for leaving the job seem to be a lot higher for the OP.

I hear ya, bro. I turn 37 in about a month as well. Lately I definitely hear the clock ticking, and I'm feeling a sense of urgency I never had before.

Agreed. You have a 30-35 year career: so put this in that perspective. 2 years is not that much of a deal in the longer run. Are you not having fun with your startup? If you are having fun learning, coding, and meeting other entrepreneurs then your outlook will be more positive.

IMO, perspective is everything: focus on the positives. You are 30 and you are half way through to achieving what most people cannot achieve in a lifetime. The times when I feel most sad/depressed is when I am working long hours for 7 days a week. So when I take a break and come back after having some fun, suddenly everything looks positive and encouraging:-)

Most of this advice is fine, but the working from home and using spare time on your project is dubious. I'm sure the OP isn't advocating working on your own project on company time, but you need to avoid even the appearance that you may be doing so. Just be very careful with it; the last thing you want to worry about it is IP disputes or lawsuits.

- Work from home a few days a week and squeeze in extra startup work with the time/energy you save.

I think he's referring to time saved by not having to commute, not using company time for the startup. If that's true then it seems like good advice.

Right, as I wrote, I don't think that the author's intent was to use company time on the startup. All I'm saying is that the OP should be careful. If he has a long commute, that might work -- but if he has a short commute, then the line may blur a bit. It's almost good to have a solid chunk of time between working on work and working on a startup -- the possibility of confusion about the IP and about who's paying for what becomes increasingly remote.

What Ed said. I spent almost four years part-timing my startup while working day jobs. (At which ten hours a day would have felt like a nice refreshing breeze on a warm summer day, but that is neither here nor there.)

I also feel your pain on immigration issues. That was at least part of the reason why I had to do things the long way.

You can make progress while employed. Be disciplined about it, be smart in how you work, and above all don't give up.

Most of my good tips are here:

http://www.kalzumeus.com/2010/03/20/running-a-software-busin...

At the end of the process you'll have a company (successful for some definition of successful), a green card, and an excellent base from which to plot your takeover of the world. You might be surprised to know that at 28 or 30 or 32 having a successful company still makes you a huge anomaly among everyone you know. The discipline you learned while working will help you hugely, too, if you can maintain it.

I've been a reader of your blog for some time now and I am amazed at how you pull it off.

Between writing code, thinking about the big picture, product features, promoting it, marketing, I'm overwhelmed most of the time. I have been looking for help now but still learning my way through hiring.

The 20-somethings media-fueled success stories that we hear all around us add undue pressure. In a subtle way, they make you feel like a loser if you haven't made it by 30, which is BS. I make a conscious effort to not be affected by the hype.

All I'd like is to give it my best effort, learn a lot in the process, and hopefully create a nice little place for myself.

Those success stories are notable because they are the exception. There are literally hundreds of thousands of successful businesses out there, big and small. One of my favorite companies (Hubbards, makes breakfast foods) was founded by Dick Hubbard using his retirement cheque. It is never too late to start.

H1-B Transfer to your startup? http://www.askthevc.com/blog/archives/2008/04/does-having-a-...

See one of the comments:

"I have a lot of experience with this, having done it several times myself. Proving the company is 'real' to the USCIS can be tricky, because they don't consider companies with cash but no revenue to be viable. Luckily it never usually gets to that stage of analysis for a simple H1B (although green cards are a whole different matter). Just make sure you have an office address,letterhead, phone numbers, a bank account and good lawyers. The USCIS will often pick up on little details that show the business is being run out of someones backyard.

The hardest part is in the early stages, prior to transferring the H1B visa, because technically the visa holder can have no involvement in the company i.e. cannot attend meetings or talk about the opportunity without violating their status.

One approach I used successfully was to get my accountant to create an LLC. The LLC held my shares in the new startup. My immigration attorney then applied for a part-time concurrent H1B to work for that LLC as a board member a couple of hours a week, in parallel with myexisting H1B visa, allowing me to be involved from day one (you can start work the moment the visa is filed). When the startup was funded, they then filed a H1B transfer for me. "

This can be done, but it's not a long-term solution and honestly I wouldn't recommend it.

H1B visas are granted for three years, and you can renew once. That gives you a total of six years after which you have to go home - no matter how well your startup is doing at that point. I've never heard of anyone doing the above and managing to keep their Green Card application going. I'm not sure it's actually possible.

In contrast a Green Card can be renewed indefinitely, so it's a rather valuable thing to wait for. Totally worth it in my opinion.

> H1B visas are granted for three years, and you can renew once.

Not exactly. They can be renewed past the second term indefinitely, as long as an immigration application (I-140/I-485) has been filed with USCIS and is under review -- can be a long process.

Right, yes that's true, but if you submit an immigration application while you're at a large company, and then do your own startup and transfer the H1B, I'm pretty sure you will have to give up on the immigration application. I've heard of people starting companies and transferring H1Bs, but never of anyone who has done that and managed to keep an immigration application going.

I think that most people file I-140/I-485 concurrently and apply for employment authorization at the same time. At that point they are not tied to their company exclusively, and theoretically they could even leave, if they are confident that the company would not maliciously retract their application. The risk there, of course, is that as soon as EAD is used to justify employment, H-1B is no longer valid, and if the initial application is denied, the applicant is automatically out of status.

I recently (by me I mean the company I worked for) recently applied for an H1B. They asked for past tax returns, and proof that the company had employees and revenue.

It gets tricky because I'm in my second H-1B term. The H-1B has a maximum term of 6 yrs after which you need to go back for an year, unless you have a perm residency petition pending.

From what he says about USCIS picking on little details, I think setting up my own company and sponsoring an H-1B without revenues will be subject to audit for sure and could jeopardize my green card petition.

I'm going to talk to an immigration lawyer but from my past conversation or two, they say this is very hard to do without raising major flags.

Here is the problem with this solution....it's not a hack. More a risky gamble. H1-B's are 'non-immigrant' work visas. i.e. once you apply, you are explicitly saying that you have no desire to immigrate.

So if you do find a loophole, and exploit it - remember that your green card can be revoked. To stake your entire existence on your exploiting a loophole seems a little risky to me.

I am not discouraging you from trying, believe me...I was in your situation a few months ago, I just don't think it is a sustainable path to take.

Don't worry too much about a large company seeing what you are doing and moving into your space faster than you. Large companies go through several stages of copying ideas

1) What a dumb idea, that will never work

2) That company seems profitable, but we will beat them

3) We better copy that idea, but it is not our core business / it will cannabilise our profits

4) Okay, lets get some of our non-motivated, non skilled, unimportant engineers to look at this niche in our typical boring locked down plodding way

5) Budget cuts!

So yeah, don't be too worried about large companies.

At the large company where I work, 5) is "Let's buy them out"

It might be a good thing if the big guys see what you're up to, and realize that it's easier to buy you out than do it themselves.

I'm not trying to be negative, but when your company is one person, a five man startup with a similar idea -is- a huge company, especially if they don't have to work ten hour days. Things are relative, and the megacorp isn't the only competition. Or even most of it.

Completely true. However it is extremely rare for multiple startups to go for _exactly_ the same niche.

Also, most customers you approach will never have heard of either of you - unless you are in a tiny market your competition has very little effect on you (other than encouraging you to work harder)

First, as edw519 mentioned, 30 is still quite young. A friend of mine moved from Japan to the US at 38, taking less than half his former salary, and is still waiting for his green card at 43. He doesn't like his job that much but it keeps him here and the lifestyle is much better for him.

I myself am 35 with a wife and two kids. I've been bootstrapping solo for the last two and a half years. Traction takes time (like 2-5 years). You can't just put something online and expect it to grow. You have to physically talk to your potential customers, even if it means doing so repeatedly for very small deals.

You're actually quite lucky to be employed while working on your side project. Keep your job (or find another one if it won't screw up your green card process) and figure out a way to keep building on the side (make sure you're covered from an IP perspective). If you really want to make it happen, you're going to need a lot of energy and patience.

Also, don't worry about competition. It's the least of your concerns.

The real answer is, it depends. I totally understand what you are feeling.

I went through a similar situation. Was in the US for about 7 years, did both my degrees there and OPT both times. Was about to let a company I had a good relationship with apply for my H1-B, but decided to move home.

Now that I am back home, I can't explain to you the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders - to be a citizen again. It's not something that can be explained to someone who has not gone through the immigration process for a few years. But it is the most liberating feeling ever.

The beauty about the space we are involved in, is that we can start a startup from anywhere.

You don't have to live in the US. The truth is, I never saw myself moving back home either, but after I got married (she isn't an American) and had my first child - we decided it was best to raise him at home (where there is more help).

However, once my startup reaches a point where I can expand, I plan on opening an office or some sort of presence in the US - which essentially allows you to get a green card - once you are creating enough jobs, and invest enough in the US.

So don't feel like going degree -> H1-B -> green card is the only way.

All in all, I don't know your particular situation, but going home might not be ALL that bad. Especially if you can work on your startup and be earning USD living in a country with much lower cost of living.

Just my $0.02.

Advice is what I look for when I feel like I should know the answer to something, and I don't.

You have a perfectly viable third option, and it's one that I nearly took while trying to juggle a business and a regular job at the same time. I certainly would have taken it if I felt that it was necessary to keep the regular job.

That option is, get help. You have a steady, reliable job now, and you might not enjoy it, but you might also be surprised at how much more enjoyable it can be if you have a successful business on the side that's taking care of itself. Also, I'm beginning to think that "getting help" is one of the most challenging steps an entrepreneur eventually has to take; why not handle it right away?

Take a day or two off from your regular job, if you can. A long weekend would be good. Decompress a little -- but don't procrastinate! -- and then sit down and draft an idea of what you want your business to do, and when you want it to do it. It doesn't need to be fancy; it doesn't need to be a business plan. Just: "in X months my business should be doing Y" kind of stuff.

Then, once you've got a clear idea of what you want to accomplish, start looking for people that can help you do it. The economy is your friend right now -- you should be able to find some part-time or contract help for pretty cheap. You'll get to learn how to manage them really effectively, since you won't be able to look over their shoulders 40 hours a week.

Two years from now, you can have your green card, and you can be way ahead of schedule in your business, just because you got help sooner rather than later.

And try to avoid creating situations in this setup where you are a bottleneck that is constantly holding up whoever you've delegated to (speaking from loads of experience). And when that happens (e.g., content needs to be written to launch), sometimes you just need to relax control and delegate.

Worst case, it's easier to tweak or rewrite something that's been already written than start from scratch.

Let me advise you something different, its valid & legal and it works perfectly fine... i know many have done this before by applying for Canadian permanent residency (same as USA green card) so that they at least have stability and dont have to worry about going back to home country. Canadian PR is easy and fast and you can work from Vancouver (close to silicon valley on Canadian side) and in the mean time keep working on your job & project... just in case if you want to work full-time on your startup then you can go to Canada and work from there, also once you've PR from Canada, you can go to US on visitors visa as many time as you want, this is good if you want to meet VCs and other project members. Also you can get Canadian citizenship within 3 to 5yrs after PR.

Do I sound like sales guy for Canadian immigration :-) anyway find an immigration lawyer who has knowledge of both countries (USA & Canada), again trust me this will be immensely helpful for planning your future and stability.

edit: by the way, once you get PR for Canada, you may migrate there and easily find a job that is not stressful, you can work for 40hrs and rest of the time you can work for your startup.

Keep on the path for your green card. 2 years is not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

And try to enjoy life in the mean time. Life is not about the destination, the trip is also important. You can do things on your free time, but you can also find ways to enjoy your job more.

I'm 49 years old, and further away from my green card. You're in a good spot, don't take it so seriously.

I'm sort of in a similar situation, but in the UK. The visa/work permit situation is a lot easier here though. So, soon after I started working on my startup I quit my job and got a new visa which allows me to do any kind of work (including self-employment). I also like it here and would like to stay until I get permanent residence. I saved up enough from my job to keep me going for a while, hopefully until my business takes off.

I'm finding working alone on my startup quite hard. And all that emotional rollercoaster stuff I heard about also seems to be true. I'm doing it fulltime and still feel like I'm moving painfully slow. So I can totally understand your frustration and fear.

I think I agree largely with what edw519 says. Keep the job and keep working on your startup but try and slowly build up the momentum.

Is there a chance for you to get another less demanding job? It sounds like you must have a decent paying job, so presumably you can save a bit of money from that which could help.

Finally, given your situation, the classic route of consulting might be a good option.

I really appreciate the advice, kind words, encouragement, and wisdom you guys have offered here, edw519, thaumaturgy, gridspy, patio11, adityakothadiya, rgrieselhuber and others.

Patience is a virtue and I've been practising it for a few years now. My green card petition has been pending for 5 years and it still seems far away. Given the immigration climate and the general xenophobia, I dread waiting another few years (2 is my optimistic guess if immigration reform goes through, else...). I sometimes put myself on the other side of the fence and wonder that if things don't pan out, will I regret not taking the leap? It's hard sometimes, you know.

I don't want to take any hasty decisions and screw everything up. But as adityakothadiya pointed out, I do want to know that I've exhausted all possible options and have no other resort.

I need to get more efficient and as thaumaturgy pointed out, get help. I am planning on bringing in some help over the summer. I'm also considering taking a leave of absence from the job if possible.

Entrepreneurship is difficult (euphemism) in and of itself. Add first time founder, solo founder, part-time work, and green card bull and in those moments of weakness, I despair. And as Unseelie pointed out, when you're one person doing something, even a five person unfunded team can seem scary.

That being said, overall, I'm optimistic and will continue to do what I'm doing. I'm still living some form of my dream and it is exciting to watch this baby grow.

No one wants to live with regrets but often you don't know in advance what you will or will not end up regretting. I'm figuring it out.

If I don't do a good job at building my startup, or finding product/market fit and so on, I can live with it not going anywhere. But if I end up realizing (a little too late) that dedicating myself to it would have made a difference, that's a bitter pill to swallow.

This is a great example of why the U.S. needs startup visas (without $1 million requirement) to keep and encourage entrepreneurship in the U.S. and generate jobs + tax revenue.

It's a tough call what to do within the limits of our current environment and I wish you the best of luck in your current situation.

Or just do what New Zealand and Australia do, and allow people in required professions (programmers being one of them) a visa and a 2-years fast track to citizenship.

You mean immigration as a federal skilled worker, right?

I thought they were making this process tougher because of the current economic climate.

When was your last vacation? Perhaps you just need a break.

Jan 09. A while ago.

You're burned out. Take a break.

Marry an American, get citizenship, then go found your startup. And never, ever think you're too old.

Your situation sounds a lot like my dad's. He came here after college, finished his Ph.D in the U.S, then got screwed over in every industrial position he took. The immigration situation sucks in this country. You need a company to sponsor you, but the company realizes that you have zero leverage as a foreigner, and treats you accordingly. He was paid less than native-born citizens, missed out on all the scientific conferences given abroad because he couldn't leave the country easily for visa reasons, and found that promotions and accolades went to his American colleagues that knew how to work the system, rather than the people who did the best technical work.

He ended up getting his citizenship when he married my mother, a few years past 30. But in a sense it was too late for him by then: he was so bitter about the way he was treated in industry that it poisoned all his future ventures. It did mean that my sister and I grew up as native-born U.S. citizens, though, with all the cultural capital that comes with that.

My advice for now: forget about the startup. Instead, concentrate on learning as much about American culture as possible. Go out with coworkers after work. Start cultivating your own social life - invite friends to go do stuff with you. Date some American girls. Listen to pop music. Someone said throw away the TV set - I'd actually disagree with that, I think you should watch more TV, but don't just veg out. Instead, listen carefully to what shows the people around you are into, and then watch them so you have something to talk about with them.

This'll all be useful if you ever found a startup in the future, but more to the point, it's essential if you really plan on staying here permanently. My dad never fully assimilated into American culture, which meant that my sister and I had to pick up a lot of it as kids, sometimes very painfully. And then it caused conflict with my father, who remained very Chinese (and distrustful of Americans) until he died. If you stay here, you'll need to interact with Americans wherever you go, you'll need to rely upon them to build a business, and your kids will become American. Better to join them than fight them.

It's very easy for non-foreigners to forget just how much of an advantage cultural capital gives them. There's this huge iceberg of cultural skills that white middle-class Americans take for-granted, that are just unknown to foreigners, poor people, minorities, or children of foreigners. You hear these stories about immigrant entrepreneurs who hit it big in America - but if you talk to any of them, you usually find that they mastered the culture first, and then founded their companies. It's not a matter of "the smartest engineer wins"; it's a matter of "the smartest engineer who acts and talks like me and that I can feel comfortable doing business with wins".

The only thing worse than a company that knows you have no leverage is a wife that knows you have no leverage.

There's this thing called love, you might have heard of it.

And it can't be summoned forth at will for the purpose of solving immigration issues.

It is pretty easy to meet US citizens in the US, however. If you're looking for a girlfriend / wife anyway, then the odds are high that she will be a citizen. Two birds with one stone.

If you're looking for a girlfriend / wife anyway, then the odds are high that she will be a citizen.

Not necessarily true. If he comes from a country with a significantly different culture (i.e., somewhere other than Europe), he would probably be more comfortable marrying someone of his own nationality who is also a recent immigrant, and thus is more likely to also be a non-citizen.

Huh? I think you and the upmodders do not realize that once the spouse gets the marriage-based green card, it doesn't get revoked in a divorce. AFAIK and IANAL.

Unless there is some other point to this comment that is going WAY above my head.

But the first marriage based green card is temporary; it expires in 3 years. That doesn't mean that even if you get a divorce you'll get thrown out, but it certainly increases the risk.

Background: I'm a citizen, and my wife when through the process when we got married six years ago. She became a citizen a couple of years ago.

Well, your knowledge is surely lacking. To prevent immigration fraud, the rule is that when you marry a citizen, you get a temporary green card which is valid for 2 years. You must go back to USCIS after 2 years to get a permanent green card. Also, it's quite possible that USCIS will ask for proof that your marriage was legit (wedding pictures/honeymoon pictures/joint bank accounts). If you get divorced before 2 years, it becomes kind of tricky to get permanent green card. [Read http://www.shusterman.com/greencardsthroughmarriage.html, scroll to 'REMOVING CONDITIONAL RESIDENCE' section]

Also, if you get divorce after getting green card and if USCIS finds out that you married citizen only to get green card, they can revoke it.

Yes, I knew about the "probationary period" etc.

But the unqualified "no leverage" of the OP seemed to imply at least to me that they thought that the green card would be taken away in a divorce irrespective of number of years of marriage (it doesn't after two years unless you got into a fraudulent marriage).

And I do not think the GP suggested getting a sham marriage. Yes, if you really enter into a sham marriage then the "wife" will have lots of leverage over you.

You read the part where he said he has lived in the U.S. for 8+ years, right?

By itself, that doesn't say much. My dad lived in the U.S. for 50 years and still wasn't culturally American when he died. I was born here and still don't understand much of it close to 30 years later.

You're right, though, in that I shouldn't assume that he doesn't understand American culture - there's just no information either way. So if he does, it basically amounts to waiting until he can get his green card (or better yet, citizenship). I still think he's better off broadening out socially than concentrating on the technical aspects - after all, one of the complaints with the post was that he couldn't find a cofounder that he clicked with.

And yes, marriage is still probably the fastest way to citizenship, all the caveats about doing it for love and not for papers still applying.

Finding a cofounder that you 'click' with is damn difficult no matter where you are.

Perhaps try some of the coFounder pairing events. I'm in the same boat as you; trying to find a passionate co-founder who I mesh with and who can match my enthusiasm. http://founderdating.com

It is sad. But that is about the only thing you can do to become an american citizen.

I'm fairly 'Americanized' if you will. I have assimilated well (though I will never get the Baseball craze) and can easily socialize and have also dated white girls. So that's not so much of a problem.

I absolutely agree, though, that if one wants to be accepted and progress, assimilating in a culture is crucial.

"... tl;dr: Working on startup venture. No green card. Stuck in this situation for 2+ yrs. Slow progress and sometimes feel dream slipping away. Suggestions? ..."

Patience.

I spent three years waiting for a Green Card while working at a boring job in a big company. It is very frustrating.

My only piece of advice would be to look for ways to hack the Green Card process. While it looks completely unhackable on the surface, there were a couple of times dring my application where we managed to find influential contacts who sped things up by as much as six months. If the immigration lawyer your company is using isn't doing everything possible to make your application go quickly, find a lawyer of your own to review the paperwork and see if anything more can be done.

Good luck!

I've gone through and read all the comments below, and am pretty overwhelmed by the hopes, the energy, and the tenacity of so many of you. I am a 35 year old first time entrepreneur, but I'm a citizen, so I can relate to some of the pressure - but only a tiny bit. But that's not what I wanted to comment on - I wanted to comment on the fact that I am blown away by those of you making a go of this...you make this country great even when it makes it hard for you. We are lucky to have you.

Don't try to work on your project after a full day of work. You're physically and mentally tired, you won't produce quality work and you'll begin to dread working on your side project.

Here is some simple advice that has worked for me very well in the past, in exactly your situation (and I've gone on to run those side projects successfully and even exit from one via acquisition).

__Work on your side projects in the morning__

This involves some lifestyle changes, i.e. waking up early. The process, once mature, involves 3 steps:

1) On the commute home after work, think of 1 concrete thing you want to achieve the next morning on your side project. Relax and watch TV etc whilst going over in your head what you're going to do in terms of execution.

2) Go to sleep early (say 11pm) and wake up at 6am.

3) Do the stuff you thought about. Your mind will be fresh, you'll be looking forward to working, and if you can charge through 1 to-do list item per day, that's good, consistent progress.

Keeping a strict routine of this you can maintain a very quick pace of product iteration. Much faster than you'd think, for just a couple of hours a day. It's all about filling those hours with concrete tasks and being in the right mindset to Get Things Done.

Hope that helps.

Focus on what you can and want to do. Not on what you can't change. In your situation this would be: 1. Get a better day job which is higher paying or which makes you feel better about your life in some way. Eg: let's you live near the beach or in NYC et . 2. Start proving in some fashion (eg: letters of intent from customers) that you have a great product. You think that the green card is the problem but if your a first time entrepreneur I can bet even if you had a gc the state of your company is not at the point you could go it alone right now. Be honest about this. 3. Save up some money. Your going to need this when you start on your own. 4. Date more American women. :) ... Even if you never find your wife thus way, it'll increase the quality of life... Well at least for sometime. :) 5. Average age of receiving a gc is 31. At least that's what I've seen. So hang in there.

Yes I ve been in your shoes. I got my gc but then realised that my idea/implementation was fundamentally flawed. Now I'm doing all of the above so I can quit in another 6 months.

Use this time to really vet your idea. 3. Seriously network with others

Might I ask what is taking up most of your time getting your concept to fruit?

Is it the programming? Marketing?

It's been said here so much it might as well be on a stone tablet: 30 isn't too old, but I totally understand that such a milestone can put irrational pressures on someone. Trust me, I know.

As for your other dilemma, your fear that others might catch on to your idea and beat you to the punch.

No one can guarantee a surefire hit. Lord knows there's been a ton of those that ended up being total duds. Consider this though, an idea that's sat on is an idea that's wasted. Don't let the threat of competition scare you off. If you've got a great idea, it will remain great even if others are doing it, and if yours is better, people will come to you.

I've sat on a few ideas of my own for lack of time and technical help, only see other people start their own version of it or another. I think mine's still better, but seeing others attempt it gave me a bit more confidence in the viability of the idea, and a kick in the butt that I gotta get moving. Don't be afraid to find the right people to work with, sometimes it's a trial and error thing, but don't quit.

Focus as much time as you can on the start up over the next two years and try to get it profitable but most importantly keep the job.

If you hold on for two years, you will end up with a solid start up, a green card and in addition to your salary you'll have another revenue stream.

That's a very nice way to enter your thirties.

Hang in there!

I am in the same boat - at least a year away from my green card, working for BigCo, moonlighting, even turning 30 soon!

I've researched a couple of options to expedite green card processing and these may be applicable to your case - email johnbray8 at google's email service to chat.

Start looking into full-time positions in Canada as a backup for when your US visa expires. I know others who are in the same predicament as you who were able to find positions within their own big corp employer. Canada is favorable as US allows for partnerships with Canadians. There is also a cultural fit and comfort factor from customers & future employees. You are not alone. Even motivated U.S. corps have to jump through many hoops to get their H1s passed. It is not always the employer who is at fault. For example, there is a waiting period for public companies to start processing H1s after a large layoff. Add to this the bureaucratic nature of big corp + big gov't in general.

There's some really good advice on this thread. FWIW, here's my take.

You are living two lives at the same time. It's possible to do it, but you have to sacrifice and avoid traps. You have to acknowledge you will be vulnerable due to tiredness. Your main pitfall is falling into depression, despair and alienation. Here are some very simple techniques I use. It is vital to achieve a good mindset and excellent health.

Master your time and in particular your sleep. Every day sleep at least 8 hours. Don't moonlight if possible. Wake up very early in the morning, 5 or 6am maximum. Go for a walk or a run, then have a very quick healthy and filling breakfast (avoid boxed cereals!) If you have time, work some on your project. Get to work before anybody else, get sort everything you can in the morning as everybody else is drowsy and slow. Exploit that. Master the "wally reflector", perhaps preemptively.

For lunch time, have something very light like a sandwich or salad. Push meetings to the afternoon, if possible. Focus well on people talking to you, don't multitask on meetings. Avoid the water-cooler gang, don't waste your time even at the office, remember you are worn out more than your co-workers. If you need to clear your mind, go to a quiet place and rest. Do the same at lunch, if possible.

After work, avoid the pub and go straight to your project and put as many good hours as you can. If you work at home, get rid of any possible distraction, in particular avoid time sinks like TV, social sites, and chat/im. Hold dinner until you are done.

Drink water all the time, perhaps a glass every hour. Avoid any other soft drinks. Eat healthier, get enough nutrients in particular good proteins (milk, egg whites, soy) to help you recover. Also don't neglect good oils (sunflower, algae/fish.) A healthy lifestyle will help you save money, too.

Stay away as much as possible from coffee because it will give you insomnia and stomach problems while in the long run you end up with a dependency and without the buzz. Avoid alcohol (and soft drugs), its effects will cascade into the week because you are vulnerable. Avoid heavy and unhealthy foods, it will give you indigestion and get you drowsy. Stop eating sugars, candy, chocolate, and soft drinks.

When you are feeling bad at work, visualize your goals. Repeat to yourself often, perhaps in a mirror: "this is just a stepping stone and I'm moving forward to my dream life." Or something along the lines better fitting your situation.

Keep completely to yourself either Saturday or Sunday, zero work. Have a good time.

Now the hardcore tricks. In just 2 weeks you can clean up from the typical western sugar addiction. Hang in there with your cravings. Only when you are completely in control, you can have a little bit of sugar as last-resource remedy to help you get by when you reach very low points of the week. Drink lots of water with it to even out the effects from 15m to 45m. Don't eat or drink anything else. Sugar is a strong stimulant and an occasional shot can help keep discipline, but it works only if you don't have resistance to it. (There are several studies on this subject.)

Another trick is to schedule properly the work that wears you out. Put it all together and finish it as soon as possible, then resume your normal schedule.

And the best trick is to go to bed early on Sunday night, perhaps get your doctor to prescribe your some light sleep inducing pills. Some people swear by herbal remedies, too. When you start the week with the right foot it tends to have a good inertia.

And the top trick, write a log! Even if you write a single line it will help you keep focus and will help you become aware of progress. Write it even on bad days, highlight what went wrong. It takes just a minute.

Even though this is a hard life, if you manage to do it right it will be among the best times of your life. Things will change sooner than you expect.

This will either inspire you or further depress you:

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/accomplished/

Thirty is not old. Keep working. It doesn't matter if someone else swoops in and "steals" it. You'll have other and better ideas.

I was in a similar situation, except I had an American co-founder to create the company and do the paperwork to transfer my H-1B. It took much, much longer than we hoped, but you can get there in the end.

So that would be my advice -- don't wait for the H-1B; find an American co-founder who can bring you on-board.

Focus on improving your engineering skills; Switch to a much more interesting day job; Make your life more interesting; Developing your product in moonlight (Reference: read book Ignore Everyone).

Or just choose to give up the green card for something which matters more to you.

Check out http://www.amazon.com/Copy-This-Hyperactive-Dyslexic-Compani... and don't be afraid to ask for help. You don't have to be a one man shop.

A number of YC companies were founded by non-americans who ended up staying in the US, it might be worth approaching them to see how they did it. Possibly some hack involving an H1B for the company or maybe even an E2 for a VC financed company.

"I learned the lesson that working with a useless co-founder is worse than going it alone."

Find one that's not useless. All the problems you've mentioned can be solved by having another set of hands around to help.