Ask HN: Why do I always waste time on the weekends? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Why do I always waste time on the weekends?

123 pointsoz141 comments

There's a way for me to make some money, but it requires that I setup a fairly complicated spreadsheet to monitor several variables. All through last week, I've been printing Excel tutorials and ebooks, telling myself that I'll do the spreadsheet over the weekend, so I can start earning immediately. I want to put the money towards a startup.

How did I spend my weekend?

Friday Night:

Listening to rap and channel surfing. I've got all weekend, right?

Saturday:

Spend half the day browsing, the other half watching about 4 movies. Still got all day Sunday, right?

Sunday:

Wake up @ 10. Watch a few World Cup matches, while surfing YouTube. I can do it later right?

Now I just got to work, and I'm disgusted with myself. I want to leave this job as soon as possible (one's soul can only be sucked so much), but my constant procrastination isn't helping things.

The worst part? This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I'll spend the weekday fantasizing about how productive I'm gonna be over the weekend, then spend the weekend watching movies. Then on Sunday night, while ironing my clothes for Monday, the self-flagellation begins.

Oddly, while I'm wasting time, I know that I'm wasting time. I'll spend 5 minutes doing the task, and as soon as I encounter any difficulty, I take a break to 'clear my head'. This ends up taking the rest of the day. This has happened several times.

I want to be rich. Filthy rich, even. I'm sick of working for others. I'm sick of getting up in the morning knowing my life is ticking away. But I know I'll never get there if I continue like this.

I'm 23, above-average intelligence (Dunning-Kruger FTW), and I don't want to waste my life, waking up @ 30 wondering where the years have gone.

I've been on HN long enough to know this is something quite a few of us struggle with.

Help. Please.

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There's a way for me to make some money, but it requires that I setup a fairly complicated spreadsheet to monitor several variables.

A "complicated spreadsheet" isn't a requirement, it's a roadblock.

You're making it harder for yourself by putting obstacles in front of yourself and then wondering why it's so hard to make progress.

I want to be rich. Filthy rich, even.

Getting rich isn't the goal. It's a byproduct.

You never even mention what your startup is going to do, who it's going to help, or why you absolutely positively must do it. If you have something you must do, identify it and focus on it. If you don't, find it. Everything else, including money, is just a detail.

I take a break to 'clear my head'.

Clearing your head isn't a necessary step, it's an excuse. Again, if you have something you must do, you head is already plenty clear. If you don't, then what are you clearing your head for?

In summary:

1. Find what you must do.

2. Start doing it.

In case you don't have something you must do, then just do something, anything. The process of doing will probably help you find your mission. The processes of thinking, preparing tools, and dreaming about money probably won't.

A couple of minor pointers that have helped me:

1. If you have 2 computers, make one for work and the other for internet and put them in different rooms.

2. Throw your TV set into the dumpster.

3. When you have code to work on, be at your terminal, working on it (Mode 1).

4. When you don't have code to write, by anywhere but your terminal with pencil and paper handy (Mode 2).

5. Start every day in Mode 1 and end every day (probably in bed) in Mode 2. Ending the day in Mode 2 in requisite to being able to start in Mode 1 the next day.

6. Take care of yourself.

A "complicated spreadsheet" isn't a requirement, it's a roadblock.

You're making it harder for yourself by putting obstacles in front of yourself and then wondering why it's so hard to make progress.

This is true on so many levels. To get started, I really only need a basic spreadsheet, but I've been fantasizing about complex Pivot Tables, sparklines, VLOOKUPS, most of which I've never even used before! I think I do this so that I can tell myself I'm doing something even though I'm really accomplishing nothing. Story of my life.

"In case you don't have something you must do, then just do something, anything. The process of doing will probably help you find your mission. The processes of thinking, preparing tools, and dreaming about money probably won't."

I do this All.The.Time. Like the taxi driver in 'Collateral', I'm thinking how everything has to be perfect, while 12 years pass by. I think, and talk about money constantly: How nice It'll be to buy a Mercedes, get my own apartment, and not having to answer to a boss. I'm hiding in the server room typing this right now-he likes to sneak up behind me.

edw519, thanks for the kick in the rear. Hurts, but I need it.

> I've been fantasizing about complex Pivot Tables, sparklines, VLOOKUPS, most of which I've never even used before!

When writing software, I often ask myself, "what's the simplest thing that could ever possibly work", and then proceed to implement it that way. You might try doing the same.

I know I've fallen into this fallacy a few times myself. It's easy to say to yourself if only I had enough data this decision/direction/risk would be obvious and I wouldn't be so worried about it.

But the truth is even with perfect data you still have to be willing to take risks and no amount of analysis will ever take that away.

Hard lesson to learn but a good one none the less.

>In case you don't have something you must do, then just do something, anything

Wasn't he doing 'anything' by listening to rap music and watching the World Cup? I find your summary paralyzingly vague. :\

"1. Find what you must do. 2. Start doing it." is really amazing advice.

I think that you too often confuse means with ends, and don't attack the ends directly; instead, your waylaid by the means. For example: you want to make money with this spreadsheet scheme, but then you want to put it into the startup. Fuck, no. Work directly on your startup.

Also, stop listening to rap music. All rapper love to rap about their money, but it's a stupid pyramid scheme because they only get money from selling music (or drugs). I spent so much time smoking weed and listening to Lil Wayne in college, thinking that because I'm so smart I'm definitely going to make so much money. No, he's selling you the fantasy. When we get caught up in idol worship, we spend time admiring the successful. Successful people are too busy doing whatever makes them successful to waste time like that.

If you want to be a successful man, you have to start aligning yourself with Reality instead of Fantasy. This means if something makes you uncomfortable (say..a chapter in a book), confront it head on directly.

"Also, stop listening to rap music. All rapper love to rap about their money, but it's a stupid pyramid scheme because they only get money from selling music (or drugs)."

I'm afraid that rap music isn't all about money and drugs.

You're right and I'm wrong. You have people like Jay Electronica rapping and that's a good thing. A categorical dismissal was unfair but nonetheless a valid prescription for the original poster.

+1 vote for keeping it real! :)

A few thoughts.

One: Short deadlines can be really effective. I know 37signals isn't always a popular source here, but their idea of setting a deadline and then adjusting the scope of your project down to meet the deadline and just release the thing is a powerful one.

Two: Do you have any sort of accountability? A co-founder? Having someone you're answerable to can be really useful. Don't be worried about them taking your idea and executing it better than you. Have someone who can challenge you. Ideally, you can challenge them on a project of theirs.

Three: It sounds like a lot of your distractions are online. If your spreadsheets don't require an internet connection, give your router / ethernet cable / etc. to a friend. Or you can use a tool like Freedom to cut out internet access. I'm working on a startup that will give you specific, granular control of your internet connectivity (http://monotask.com), but we haven't launched yet, so we're not going to be super-useful just yet. Existing options include Concentrate, Freedom, Self-Control, and RescueTime's "block" feature.

Four: The motivation you mentioned is being rich. While there's nothing wrong with that, it's a bit of an abstract goal. I generally prefer for my projects to solve concrete problems that I'm having. Is there any way to pivot your focus, off of money, and onto solving the problem? That might motivate you more than money. YMMV.

Best of luck with it.

"One: Short deadlines can be really effective. I know 37signals isn't always a popular source here, but their idea of setting a deadline and then adjusting the scope of your project down to meet the deadline and just release the thing is a powerful one."

I like this. In fact that's what I'll do. Tonight, I'll simply create a functional spreadsheet and save the bells and whistles for another time. A minimum viable product, if you will.

"Two: Do you have any sort of accountability? A co-founder? Having someone you're answerable to can be really useful. Don't be worried about them taking your idea and executing it better than you. Have someone who can challenge you. Ideally, you can challenge them on a project of theirs."

No accountability. I've always fancied myself as the Lone Ranger type. I know in theory that it's good, and have even experienced its benefits firsthand.

"Four: The motivation you mentioned is being rich. While there's nothing wrong with that, it's a bit of an abstract goal. I generally prefer for my projects to solve concrete problems that I'm having. Is there any way to pivot your focus, off of money, and onto solving the problem? That might motivate you more than money. YMMV."

Hmmm, I'll have to give this some thought

"Best of luck with it." Thanks.

Dude. If you don't have some down-time regularly, you're going to wake up at 30 feeling like you're 70.

As for wasting time? Look at the 80 hours per week you're wasting at a job you hate (counting wake-up, prep, commute, and winding-down) rather than the 30-35 or so waking hours you're spending on weekend recreation. Take a plunge. Change your life.

Thanks for the reminder. It's just that I set out to do something; yet do nothing. If I'd consciously set out to relax for the weekend, I wouldn't feel bad.

I've been there. I spent the last half of 2006 through the end of 2009 doing seriously soul-sucking work that was sometimes fun (as it's related to my hobbies) but often arduous, and it left me very little time to do the things I wanted to do, which were technical, work-like, and couldn't remotely be construed as leisure.

I got laid off at the beginning of this year, and did a lot of cool things in my down-time. I'm finally back on board with a great company that's well-established (more than a decade old) but small and still has a startup feel to it. I spend the weekends hanging out with family, fishing, bicycling, writing, photographing stuff. Refreshed, I can truly welcome my Mondays now that I'm doing what I love to do for work.

Glad to hear it man. Any plans to do a startup?

If I did, it would be more like a consultancy thing. I'm not a developer, and I do security stuff (all kinds) for fun and profit. I'm 31, married, wife needs insurance with lots of medical issues. It would be a bad time for me to go off on my own full-bore right now. It sounds like you're in a great position to make a leap of faith, though, and there's a lot of other good advice from the HNers. Best of luck!

Also, I have to ask: With a name like oz, are you in Kansas like I am (Lenexa/KC Suburbs)?

No, Kingston, Jamaica.

I have to ask: Do you think marriage is/has been worth it? The only time I ever considered it was when I was a Christian, and even then my mind rebelled at the thought.

I married a hacker. We met on a dial-up BBS way back in the nineteen hundreds. She is awesome.

After a week of work at the day job I set out to relax on saturday. Then on sunday I'm relaxed and motivated again to work on my side projects.

On some weeks I get all my day job work done in 4 days (I work from home), relax on friday and have two days for sideprojects :)

I love side projects, even the ones that feel like work. And sometimes, I really only need one day to relax and do nothing, every few weeks. It's cool to work on something you love through the weekend if you can stay focused on it.

>I'll spend the weekday fantasizing about how productive I'm gonna be over the weekend, then spend the weekend watching movies.

Here. You've conditioned yourself to enjoy fantasizing about making money. Your brain (subconsciously) has an aversion to letting go of this pleasure. So it resists any move you might make toward realizing your goal, since this will remove the ability to derive pleasure from the fantasy.

Sometimes just realizing this and confronting it is enough to overcome it. But if that doesn't work, it's pretty easy to reverse the conditioning. Just consciously make yourself feel bad feelings (bitterness, sadness, frustration, irritation, really anything works) when you start thinking about the unfinished spreadsheet, and tell yourself how much better you'll feel when it's done. A couple days of this and you should be good to go.

That sounds a lot like basic Fear of Failure to me.

I don't know. I've given it some thought, but I don't think it is.

My working theory is that there is no single, integrated 'I' that makes decisions. Rather, we are the sum of competing drives and motivations. So a part of me wants A and another part wants B (or simply resists A).

This is an age-old problem -- see Romans 7.15: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (http://goo.gl/p4hl) [EDIT: Corrected the chapter from 1 to 7]

The flesh vs the Spirit. I've always loved the writings of Paul, even though I'm now an atheist.

I think you're right. That's why I posted to HN (long time lurker) - I hated myself this morning.

I have struggled with this problem for all of my academic and professional career. It was only until this year until I finally started addressing it. After a lot of thought and reading, I've found that I procrastinate for the following reasons:

1) The task is mundane or repetitive.

2) I think the task is trivial. "Oh, thats something I can bang out in a few hours, and I've got all week to work on it"

3) There is a tricky problem within the task that I haven't figured out yet.

The key to it all was realizing I'm not as smart as I think I am. I needed to make a plan. This is hard, I've never kept an appointment book, I don't make to do lists, those are for dumb people. Not me, I can reason out any problem and keep track of it in my head! Bullshit.

Sit down with a pencil and a stack of paper. Draw your problem out. Make a list of all the gotchas. Make a list of all the 'easy' things. Quickly you start to realize that even with trivial problems, there is a lot of stuff to do. Yeah, you are smart, so most of those things will only take 2 minutes, but when you see them all laid out on paper, they add up. Oh shit, no time for you tube. I've actually thought about the problem, I've got skin in the game now, I've got some motivation.

When you started this trivial task of making a plan, you thought it would take 5 minutes because you are so damn smart. Two hours later you are still pushing papers around your kitchen table. Revising, looking for the common connections, refactoring, making a better list, making better software.

"I have struggled with this problem for all of my academic and professional career. It was only until this year until I finally started addressing it. After a lot of thought and reading, I've found that I procrastinate for the following reasons:
1) The task is mundane or repetitive.
2) I think the task is trivial. "Oh, thats something I can bang out in a few hours, and I've got all week to work on it"

3) There is a tricky problem within the task that I haven't figured out yet."

You've nailed it, especially number 3. I'll take out my pencil & paper, start sketching out things. The moment something stumps me, I put it down and get up 'for a drink of water.' While I'm up, might as well see what's on USA. Maybe White Collar or Burn Notice...and three hours pass.

If I may ask, how old are you? And why are you 'angry'

If you are getting stuck with number 3, the best thing I've found is to just start coding the problem in isolation. You are probably trying to jump from zero to the most elegant solution. Solve the simplest case first, in the simplest way possible. Throw all your OOD/Design Pattern/Best Practices knowledge out the window, and just solve the simplest case. From there, solve the next case, and the next one, eventually you will start to see the pattern, and the correct abstraction. From there, you can derive the elegant solution that fits all cases.

That is the problem with most solutions you find printed in books or on the web. They only show the problem and the fully refactored solution. Refactored solutions, even when fully explained, are just another form of obfuscation. Behind every tough problem, there are notebooks and whiteboards and hundreds/thousands of lines of discarded code that you never see. That is where the magic happens. You just have to do the work, you have to make your own ah-ha! moment.

This process is a lot easier if you use a language that has a REPL - like python, ruby, or the various lisp dialects. It is easier to work through problems this way, regardless of what your final target language may be.

"You are probably trying to jump from zero to the most elegant solution."

Oh god, yes. I realized recently that in practice, it's not done that way. Hard habit to break, though. I used to think that being smart meant that solutions were obvious.

Man, you need to get rid of that TV! There are plenty of ways to procrastinate in the world, but that one must have the lowest "value added to life"-vs-"time utterly wasted" ratio of them all.

I can't. It's my sister's.

I want to get my own place in the next couple of months.

> I want to be rich. Filthy rich, even.

In my experience (been there, done that, worn the shirt) this is a bad aim to have (even if it is honest) because it ends up with you fantasizing about future wealth while you fritter away Friday nights :)

Growing up, I spent far too many mental cycles on the subject of money. By the time I graduated college and got a job, though, the obsession started to fade. I didn't (and still don't) make a particularly high salary, but through careful budgeting and cost-controlling over a few years, it's become something I barely concern myself with.

My main goal at present has simply become the following:

I want to enjoy my work. Extremely so, even.

To me, this is the real challenge, much more so than getting more money.

Tell me about it. Wouldn't you know it, part of those Friday nights are spent looking up at the sky, dreaming about said future wealth...

My highest value is autonomy: ability to do what I want, when I want. This is what I'm hoping money will buy me. Will it? I need to know.

In 'How to Get Rich', Felix Dennis warns against dedicating one's life to wealth, and even says that warning is the most important part of the book. But he correctly says right after that he doubts the warning will have any effect, as the reader is probably young and tired of poverty. Boy was he right...

ability to do what I want, when I want. This is what I'm hoping money will buy me. Will it? I need to know.

Depends; you can do this on a lot less than you imagine - if you want to live in a 10 bedroom mansion, drive sports cars and so forth then you're going to need the big money.

Realize now you are statistically unlikely to get it; and, given that, think about what you specifically want rather than broad concepts.

Another consideration - are you thinking of wealth in the right terms? pg points out in his essays that wealth is not only about money; it's just that this is an easy way to gauge relative wealth. The point he makes is that you can make wealth by creating something that converts to cash (even if you never convert it to cash). But there is another point; which is that you can be wealthy without being financially super-rich.

I got lucky (am about the same age as you); as I dreamed about being super rich I ended up messing around with something in my spare time which worked out as being worth something. It was nothing stellar but in the right place at the right time it made me some money - and I found it, actually, wasn't buying me the "wealth" I expected.

Since then I've figured out exactly what I want to attain in life and my drive towards that is much more focused (I will post the list if you like, but it's not really important :) after all, what you want is a personal matter)

"Realize now you are statistically unlikely to get it; and, given that, think about what you specifically want rather than broad concepts."

Funny, I was about to read a chapter on this very topic in Felix Dennis' How to Get Rich' last night. I skipped it, because I didn't want to hear it.

I read PG's wealth essay in about 2006, when I was in first year at college (I dropped out after first year to work at a telecom startup - anything to avoid school!). I think he said something like wealth is whatever you want; If you're a billionaire but there's no food for sale, your cash is useless. True enough.

I do know that I want autonomy, and not having to rely on anyone financially (I used to think I didn't need others for anything, but recently realized how stupid I was). It's just that I've seen that almost everything in our lives is related in some way to money. Many marital disagreements are about money. Many lives get ruined by poverty. Not having to worry about money simply makes life easier. Hierarchy of needs, you know? Although I've never been poor (more or less middle class), I've come to realized that I, like most people, are only a few wrong turns from poverty.

Please post the list! For me I've often thought that I'd like to be rich enough @ 30 to be a music composer. I sometimes procrastinate by researching MIDI, Linux Audio software like Rosegarden, etc.

because I didn't want to hear it.

"The first stage of any cure is admitting the problem. The hardest part of any cure is facing the solution" :)

I do know that I want autonomy, and not having to rely on anyone financially

You could easily achieve this on very little money; but this is a very broad and non-specific aim whioch covers anyone from the millionaire to the hermit (and, arguably, better describes the hermit). I'm doing an Msc in project management at the moment and we just did a section about why projects fail; the number one reason was a failure to specify the problem to be solved in enough detail.

Many marital disagreements are about money. Many lives get ruined by poverty. Not having to worry about money simply makes life easier.

The important thing to remember is that having lots of money is not necessarily a solution for this - or rather it certainly ain't the only solution.

For me I've often thought that I'd like to be rich enough @ 30 to be a music composer.

Well, if you have a talent then there is a lot of money in that area (my brother is setting up to be a composer, does very nicely even while finishing off his degree). If you don't have the ability to do that as a job then, yeh, that sounds like a pretty concrete/specific aim to go for! Fix on that and flesh it out as an idea. Write it down and stick it up somewhere prominent. Break it down into steps/things you will need. Then really dedicate to achieving it.

My goals are not particularly finance oriented any more and so might be a little wierd :) Only one requires actual serious amounts of money (and, really, that is the "long term dream" I allow myself).

- live on a narrow boat for a reasonable period of time (status: looking at buying one now, sticking point is decent but not insanely expensive internet access)

- have a successful company by 27 (status: working on it, but this is too general at the moment and I need to concrete it better first)

- marry someone amazing (status: found her but she slipped the net :) working on that)

- be respected by people [by which I mean earn a position of respect somewhere important] (status: very hard, harder than I thought. though I have a little/growing respect in my work niche here in the UK)

- be respected by my employees by a) leading the charge at the company and b) being an understanding boss (status: requires my own company...)

- write a piece of open source code that is used "universally" and is regarded as awesome by at least someone :) (status: this could well be fluke to achieve)

- live in a small whitewashed cottage in Cornwall (I know the one I want, currently a wreck)

- learn to fly, fly a jet (status: problematic as it a serious piece of time is needed to achieve it)

- go into space (status: pipe dream, but am determined to achieve it in time)

> > Many marital disagreements are about money. Many lives get ruined by poverty. Not having to worry about money simply makes life easier.

> The important thing to remember is that having lots of money is not necessarily a solution for this - or rather it certainly ain't the only solution.

In fact I wouldn't be surprised to learn from a wise old man that having lots of it can be a cause of marital disagreements about money.

The main solution to that problem likely lies in finding the perfect spouse before getting the money.

Perhaps, but I'd rather have that problem.

Earlier this year, I created a list of things I want to do before I die:

1. Write & produce a Grammy-winning Song, that shakes people to their core.

2. Break the 100m record in 2012

3. Master a technical/engineering subject

4. Design a house

5. Write a bestselling book

6. Travel to each continent

7. Travel to space

8. Learn a foreign language

9. Learn to fly an airplane

I don't know if I still want to go for #2, even though I'm a Jamaican like Bolt. But one can live in hope, right?

Thanks for admitting that status is important to you. That's also the reason I would like to master a technical subject.

At first, I read your list and thought, "uh, good luck with that." Each of those take an incredible amount of investment; the number of Grammy winners who write bestsellers, break olympic records, fly planes, and are expert engineers is... zero, as far as I know.

But then I realized you don't have to achieve any of those to achieve a lot. If you try for #1 and fail, you've still made amazing music. If you try for #2 and fail, you're still keeping yourself in excellent physical shape. Try for #6 and fail, and you've still experienced some of the cultural richness of our world.

You might never achieve a single item on this list—but you'd be looking at a very fulfilling life in the pursuit of it.

Yes, that's true. Thanks

Thanks for admitting that status is important to you.

I've always considered this, at least from my perspective, as less about status and more about how to judge your success.

I'd like to earn the respect of groups I, in turn, respect; for example I hugely respect the HN crowd and try my best to act in ways people here respect/approve of. This seems to me to be a relatively altruistic judge of your own success as an individual; after all if you are succeeding in the eyes of people you yourself feel are successes then that has to be a good thing :)

Earlier this year, I created a list of things I want to do before I die:

I hope this doesn't sound too critical; but I think you are aiming very high. There isn't a lot wrong with that as long as you know it is a high aim :)

I don't know if I still want to go for #2, even though I'm a Jamaican like Bolt. But one can live in hope, right?

I'd say of he list #2 is your most frivolous aim. There are years of dedication and work required to achieve that - and given your age I would say it is becoming less and less likely to be achievable. By 2012? Well I have no idea of your aptitude at running but that seems a steep aim (unless you are already working towards it).

I used to have a similar list before the current one; what you need to do is pare things down to what you really want and then break that down into meaningful goals (without being too analytical). For example: my one of having a successful company by 27 is somewhat mapped out. I have a broad idea of the field I will launch into, how I would run/build my company and which contacts I need to build to achieve it. These are all sub-aims that I can work towards on a month-month basis. Once you see those aims starting to be achieved the long term goals appear more achievable.

But, most importantly, just get working on them :D

Thanks.

I find it useful to consider other options that have a strong possibility of success.

If you want to live like your rich go into investment banking. If you want to stop worrying about money, spend less. If all you want is freedom you can work a normal job in the US for 10 years and then retire to India or live like your poor for 15 years and then retire in the US.

But, if you really just want to dream about becoming rich spend 1$ a week / month on Powerball / Mega Millions and it Might happen. The truth is daydreaming can in and of it's self be fun just don't wast a lot of resources on it.

You sound almost like me. I bet you've already watched movies like "The pursuit of happyness".

Oh yes my friend. Just last night, I was watching clips from Wall Street and Money never Sleeps, and Boiler Room, while listening to Rick Ross & Nas' song Usual Suspects:

We're the usual suspects, The real definition of success, Throwing money cause I can and I love it, From nothing, to something..."

What's your story?

My story? Probably similar to yours. I'm not as obsessed by becoming rich as i used to be, but it's still there. Now i just want to fulfill my rags to riches dream, instead of simply making money(They both involve money, but it's the thought that counts). I think it's wonderful how one, wherever in the world he may be, can achieve great things by just working hard and not giving up(Ofcourse, it's a lot easier for us because we're fortunate enough to live in a decent country). The only thing i'm currently afraid of is if something happens to me and i won't be able to reach my goal.

Love the song, by the way. Never heard it before.

Interesting... I got a lot out of that warning. I actually took a break from what I was doing to really think about it.

I've been giving it some thought as well. I don't want to be in the rat race at 40. But how much is enough? That's what I need to think about.

Have you made a decision on what you're gonna do?

An old teacher told me "yesterday is dead and gone, and tomorrow will take care of itself, all you can change is what you do right now."

Start today, make the most of thirty minutes and stop. One hour every day is more valuable than seven on Saturday, it'll let the lessons percolate while you sleep and do your other job. A small daily goal won't seem so imposing but it will maintain your mental momentum.

Most importantly, though, do something you really care about. Mess around and try things until you fall into it. Build a cause and a story around it and inspire yourself. You're only the first person you'll have to sell. When you wake up in the morning with a burning desire to change the world your way, don't worry, it won't feel like work any more.

umm you said: "I don't want to waste my life, waking up @ 30 wondering where the years have gone." OUCH!

I am 32, turning 33 this coming Sunday and I think my best years are ahead of me. I tried hard to in my twenties, but twenty-something distractions got in the way. First wife, three kids, divorce, working hard to gain an inch.

Not I have wised up, refined my work habits, learned from my mistakes (even the ones I repeated twice), found a woman that "gets" entrepreneurship and I am doing better than ever.

When I am 40, I am going to be able to relax, listen to music on my deck while holding my wifes hand and not worrying about my future.

Ask me when I was 23 and I would not had this same response.

Happy Birthday when it comes!

Was there a specific incident that caused you to wise up? Some sort of epiphany?

Well, yes, realizing that when I walked into the door of my job my mood changed. I wasn't happy. I didn't smile. The only conversations going on were technical. If I needed a new mouse I had to get 3 signatures.....They pay for it with my own funds and get reimbursed.

We all have "Office Space" or "The Office" type situations at our jobs!

Now when I come to work it involves walking upstairs to my DEDICATED office after a nice breakfast, some music and my two cats...

"We all have "Office Space" or "The Office" type situations at our jobs!"

Damn, it feels good to be gangsta...

Seriously though, I'm happy for you. And I want that for myself. I spend the day counting down the hours. Small office with no privacy, so I can't even learn some Python to pass the time.

I have no idea why, but I'm not obsessed with getting rich.

I AM obsessed with doing whatever the hell I want to do, which I've basically been able to do for most of my twenties.

Hell, I've been dead broke and still been able to do whatever I want to do.

Don't worry about money. It's a silly thing to fret over. You think you need it to travel, to eat nice food, to be comfortable... but the most traveling I've ever done was while I was the most broke... and I got to see the world while playing music!

When I have had my most steady, high paying incomes, I've been content, but not really feeling all that free.

See, you can worry about money, and then work really hard to get it, and be around other people who want to work really hard for money... but... people who only care about working hard for money are ridiculously boring.

They are so boring, in fact, that they have to use their money to buy things and pay for interesting people to spice up their lives.

Whereas the people who are more interested in just living life typically have pretty interesting friends who do, and most importantly, make interesting things. Gourmet dinner potlucks! Hanging out at a friend's art studio! Touring with a friend's band!

How do you get friends like that? You have to do and make interesting things as well!

I hope everyone actually does take offense to this: When I hear someone say they want to be filthy rich, I hear it as them saying they want to be a boring douche bag.

"I hope everyone actually does take offense to this: When I hear someone say they want to be filthy rich, I hear it as them saying they want to be a boring douche bag."

Straw man. Nobody wants to be a boring douche bag.

I agree with Ramith Seti when he says:"I never want to have to make a bad decision because of money (e.g., staying at a job I don’t love because of car payments).

Isn't that the situation of most people? They stay in bad situations because the rent has to be paid and the kids have to be fed. I just don't want to have to worry about that.

Besides, many of history's great artists were able to achieve what they did because they had patrons. What if daVinci had to work. Look what happened to van Gogh.

It is not a straw man. I am not replacing "person who spent a lot of time and effort to attain monetary wealth" with "boring douche bag", and then attacking "boring douche bags".

I am merely pointing out the unintentional consequences of a lifetime in pursuit of the only object whose only purpose is to allow you to do or get things.

I'll put it another way: If you can't figure out anything interesting to make while you're alive, make money instead.

If you want to talk about a straw man argument, how about the fact that you're substituting "being filthy rich" with "having enough money to pay rent and feed children", and then opposing someone who is opposed to "having enough money to pay rent and feed children"?

When I hear someone say they want to be filthy rich, I hear it as them saying they want to be a boring douche bag.

To each his/her own? Maybe the guy just isn't that interesting and would rather make money.

The more time I spend doing things my parents would approve of, the more momentum I feel like I have holding me back from doing "whatever the hell I want"... Any tips on how to break out of that?

Your parents probably love the hell out of you. Do enough stupid shit, and they'll end up just being happy that you're alive.

That's what I did. :)

I recently came to the realization that anything I put off until 'tomorrow' or 'the weekend' won't get done because there is always new stuff to get done when tomorrow or the weekend shows up. Your best bet is to just do it right now, or tonight, or as soon as you get off work or to devote yourself to using a reliable time management system.

Take for instance this weekend, I had a whole vision of what I was going to do over the weekend and what I was going to get done, it was great, it sounded like a perfect plan, except none of it happened, life happened. I got caught up doing other random things that are on my ever expanding todo list. That doesn't mean I didn't have a productive weekend, on the contrary, I got a ton of stuff done, and I'm sitting here on a monday morning calm and relaxed knowing that I had a full and productive weekend and that I'm ready to get more stuff done this week, whatever it may be.

The best advice I can give you is to get a solid time management system like GTD setup where you dump everything, and then stop trying to allocate your time exactly, but rather think of things in terms of actionable steps on a variety of projects, so you can just jump in and get something done. I find having a specific project that I've been hyping up getting done all week rarely gets done because you've thought about it too much. You just need to act.

I've started some elementary time management in the past and gotten some results, but I lacked the discipline to maintain it. How do you do it?

Develop the discipline.

Do you brush your teeth every morning? If so, how did you develop the discipline for that?

IMO, there's even more similarity between the two. If you skip brushing for a day, you'll have slightly bad breath. If you skip a week, you'll have really bad breath. A month? You're looking at cavities. The longer you put it off, the worse it gets, the effects just aren't immediate.

The same goes for time management. Skipping a day is no big deal, but if you keep skipping, it only gets worse.

Its not easy, it really takes a mindset change. For me, the big thing that really woke me up and got me to be very conscious of my productivity, was having a baby. Now granted, this is not the normal course of action for becoming more productive, but for me, it really woke me up because all of the sudden I have no free time and efficiently making use of the time I do have is a high priority.

I do have two more realistic recommendations for better time management.

1) Pick a system that works for you and use it 100% for everything, not just work, or for home or any other subdivision, use it as your primary system for everything you need to get done. For me, I'm migrating that into the GTD system, and so far its worked very well for me. The important thing is that you stay on it, because if you stop using it at all, it won't work.

2) Don't half ass anything. What I mean by this, is consciously make a decision to fully engage yourself in whatever you do. Either be productive, or don't be productive, but _never_ anything in between. You made this post on a monday morning after spending a weekend watching tv and youtube and it bothers you because you feel like you wasted a weekend. The problem is you _did_ waste a weekend. Because you were sitting there watching tv and youtube while consciously worrying that you sitting there watching tv and youtube instead of being productive. Do one or the other, never both, if you're worrying about something, put it on your todo list and let it be until you're actually sitting down to do it. Its perfectly fine to spend an entire weekend doing absolutely nothing productive, but you need to make the conscious choice to do that and immediately drop any worries about doing other things.

I watched world cup over the weekend as well, I even played zelda on my DS while watching world cup, and it was great, I had a lot of fun, because I said hey, I want to relax and have some fun for a while, so I played video games and watched soccer with no worries about accomplishing anything or not being productive. I had made the choice to not be productive which allowed me to have worry free fun and relaxation. After the game I decided it was time to get stuff done, so I went to my list of projects that all have next actions waiting for me, so without having to figure out what needs to get done next, I had a task waiting for me and was immediately able to jump in.

So overall, it really is a mindset change, with the most important aspect being able to focus solely on your current action without worry.

I think this is _great_ advice. It reminds me of Ramit Sethi's 'Conscious Spending' principle: Spend lavishly on what you value, cut ruthlessly from what you don't.

Has anyone considered that this guy is just tired? Tired and overwhelmed with the expectations he has created for himself. You'll never get anything done unless you give up on all your planning and anticipation. You're committed to driving yourself too hard, and some part of you is too smart to make that mistake. You've set the bar so high that failure is inevitable, and you've subconsciously picked the easiest way to fail.

Solution: don't spend the week fantasizing and setting up absurd expectations. Resist planning; resist even thinking about it. When the weekend comes, you want to be free to follow your own initiative. You don't want to wake up on Saturday morning with your entire weekend already scripted out. Too depressing! On Saturday morning, just start working at a relaxed pace and see where the work takes you.

If you want to go balls-out on the weekend, find some way to slack off during the week. Not recommended if you have a reasonable day job that you'd like to keep.

Oh man, don't you know that you need to rest and relax for making something productive?

Read Tony Schwartz and see this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tke6X2eME3c

The human body is not a machine, you know...

About the thing: "you want to be rich" Man, this is ethereal, an entelechy by itself, you can't motivate yourself with an entelechy. Your subconscious mind needs real, fixed things or goals, you know "not to be rich" but "4000", 5000, 6000, 1000eur/month rich, or getting a million, or two, whatever.

You don't want to be rich, you want certain things money can give you, write it down in a paper what they are(as fixed specific goals). You will start realizing that you could get them without "being rich".

You want so much money only for yourself?,IMHO that would be sad, the richest kid on the block. Maybe you want to really help other people in the process.

The best money making people I know, and I know dozens of them, some are famous, are very good at filling OTHER PEOPLE necessities first. People can't stop giving them money because they did something for them. Money is only an exchange of value.

Studying marketing is a way of getting what people necessities are.

If you are sick of working for others, work for yourself, every day. At first it will be very hard, but once you get it you will love it: http://www.john-carlton.com/2010/06/congratulations-and-now-...

Yes, my goal is too abstract. I know that I won't aim for Facebook or Google rich, but I haven't decided what exactly I want.

Edit: Thanks for that John Carlton link. Love it!

STFU and just start to do it. Open a todo.txt file, write down small goals that will eventually lead to the completion of your über spreadsheet. As you finish items on your list move them to a done.txt file. Try to do at the least one thing on your todo.txt every day. Don't wait for the weekend either, this should be a daily exercise. Humans respond well to habitual activities, however it takes a lot more effort for someone to get in the habit of something that does not have an immediate reward (working out vs. smoking) but once you get in the habit of that non-immediately rewarding thing, it becomes part of your life.

For bonus points tell me how you plan to become filthy rich with an Excel spreadsheet.

I do this, but usually fall back into my old habits. But you're right. Habits are God.

I'd rather not say what the spreadsheet is for, but it's not my end game. The proceeds of that will go to my other startups; for example my greeting card company (I hand-make greeting cards with paper and fabric, sold quite a few for Mother's Day and definitely intend to make a huge company of it). Stay tuned.

About falling back into old habits -- you have to give those old habits some respect. The very act of sinking down in the couch and grabbing the remote -- and letting yourself be dragged into a 2 hour waste of time -- is something with roots that probably run much deeper than you realize.

You can't usually break old habits by just, you know, deciding for real this time that you aren't going to let it happen anymore. Sure, that works for one decision (10:05am) and maybe even a bunch of them (10:09am, 10:43am, 10:44am, 11:05am...) but how long can you keep winning those battles through force of will alone? Your will gets tired.

You have to take physical steps to make it impossible. If you give away your TV, that's a real-world step that would force you out of that particular addiction (and believe me, TV is addicting... there are an awful lot of very smart people who've worked for decades making it that way). I haven't had a TV since 2002 or so, and I've never intend to get another. So that's one down.

I still find plenty of ways to waste time even when my work is my own, and interesting to me -- I'm doing it right now! -- but once you've successfully knocked down your most serious distractions it gets a little easier to see how it all works. Personally, I cut out TV and any and all gaming a long time ago (because they just short-circuit my brain, it seems... I get sucked in even if I'm not enjoying myself at all), and most of my time-wasters that are left aren't so impossible to resist -- so I can use some of the methods other posters are talking about.

Making lists (and explicitly reprioritizing) is great -- sometimes when you hit a roadblock that would normally have you popping open a "timewasting" browser window, or wandering off to the kitchen, if instead you grab the paper & pen and go outside you can either scribble your way through the problem step by step, OR realize that you don't have to solve it at all (or, not yet).

When you need a break, walks are also great -- instead of something like TV (which fills your head with stuff that completely blocks most useful thought) you can just follow your feet for a bit, enjoy the weather (there are pleasant aspects to most weather) and clear your head and your thinking.

Also allow yourself time to recharge (again, TV is bad for this because it fills up your head with a flood of images and messages designed to stick there...) but hanging out with friends & loved ones is great, getting outside is great, going for a run is great.

One final thought -- if you actually make some changes (like blocking web access part of the day, tossing the TV, etc.) it takes a while before you actual benefit from the changes -- you'll keep popping from your chair and heading to the TV for a good while, for example, or find yourself pacing around just thinking furiously about whatever time-wasting thing you'd normally have been doing at that moment.

I'm sure this sounds disappointing, but basically there's nothing you can do other than start. There are several ways to trick yourself into starting, though. Some random ones:

* Break big tasks into small pieces, make a list.

* Visualize yourself taking (and completing) the first (physical) step.

* Take a time based goal instead of task based one, e.g., just spent 5-10-15 minutes on the task.

* Start with big rewards (for small things) and try to make them smaller as you go.

* Set deadlines, plan backwards (but don't abuse it to procrastinate ;)

I think of discipline as a muscle that you have to train. Don't expect to be able to lift a complete weekend of productive work if you usually 'slack off'. I definitely recognize your behavior.

I'm sure this sounds disappointing, but basically there's nothing you can do other than start.

I've been giving this same advice to others, and I have started, but like edw519 said, I'm using the spreadsheet as an excuse.

Thanks eelco.

pretty sure I wrote this, except I'm 34, not 23.

It's so easy to be all talk and no work. No one will make your dreams come true for you. If you let yourself be held back, at least be honest with yourself and admit you're doing it to yourself.

No one but you will make you succeed in achieving your dreams. Trust me. I'm wondering where the years went, and all my cool domains names lay there, half completed.

As for practical advice, if you feel the need to relax, try watching movies you've already seen, and working while they are on in the background. For me, it's The Goonies and CB4. Anything you know like the back of your hand, so you're entertained, but can fade in and out of paying attention and keep on cracking on the work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. This works especially well with "gruntwork" but it's probably not going to be something you want to do when really working on new, core aspects. There you just need to buckle down and do it. And if you don't... well, then you want to eat cheesy poofs and lay around more than you want this other dream.

How you spend your time _is_ your dream. You might not like your dream, but there it is. In the long run, we all end up with the level of productivity we want, and that we deserve.

I don't mean to be negative, but having your hand held and being told it's OK isn't what you need. You need to get your ass in gear. So do it.

Take a sick day to get started if you feel like you can't get started on the weekend. Get the ball rolling. Do whatever you have to do to get started, or you'll end up where you deserve - nowhere near your goal.

You have to make it happen.

You're not being negative; you're being brutally honest. I'm the same way with others. It's needed.

I've already started, but the gruntwork is like a Roman phalanx in my path. Guess I'll just have to shut up and fight.

Excellent, helpful response. Thanks.

Wow, the similarity to my situation is striking!

I'm struggling with this as well. It's even putting a strain on my relationship with the gf.

For example, I tell her no, I can't go out this weekend. There's a ton of shit to be done (and there really is) but I end up not doing any of them. When I tell her about it, she brings me back to reality and gives me good advice. But I can tell there's only so much a person will put up with.

Then I get excited about what I need to do to get there. I lookup productivity methods (currently trying the pomodoro technique) and do some case study readings about successful people. Exciting stuff. The world is all mine.

Then I sleep, wake up the next morning and I'm totally blanked out. The motivation is lost. The fire is gone. nothing gets done again.

I have sort of figured out why though, but I haven't done anything about it yet. I think it's my work environment. I hate being where I work and it makes me day-dream of all the other possibility of doing something different. But the dream is never realized until I do something about it. and thats the state I am at right now, figuring out what to do about it and where to start from.

My biggest issue is that I'm fully aware of my options and potential, but i'm still not concerned enough to make a change. :S

Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Cycles of motivation then crashing.

I don't really have any advice, I'm just in the same boat as you are.

What I've done is renting myself an office, a place of business - where I conduct work and don't watch the last season of Family Guy while "clearing my head".

The other positive side of this, is that I will be flat out broke, and in quite some debt, if I don't have a positive cash flow within a couple of months. I think that kind of pressure will be good for me.

I find that I don't like to work at home: It's easy to get distracted, plus I value my privacy. It's almost 5; I'm waiting till everyone leaves, then doing my spreadsheet.

I agree that the pressure will be good for you. Good luck, and keep us posted.

I know the feeling but I think the human race is under this collective illusion that 'the weekend' is a vast expanse of time where you can complete tasks at your leisure. It's not really much time at all once you factor in unwinding from work, catching up on sleep, having decent meals, running errands and preparing for Monday morning!

My weekend plan was to read a substantial chunk of GEB, watch a few World Cup games, visit my cousin, spend time with my family, complete my preliminary reading for my MSc, get a draft MSc specification typed up, and in a spare moment or two work through some programming tutorials.

Oh and I have to build a website for somebody. I'll fit that in 'at the weekend.'

Totally realistic.

Maybe a better strategy is never plan to do any work at the weekend, but when the Saturday/Sunday come you might have some interesting project from during the week that you've already started and can't tear yourself away from.

I think I learned this in Given's book "Super Self"; the basic idea is that the subconscious mind will generate fatigue or excuses to avoid work. Why this would be so nobody knows but I found it to be true. The other problem is that if this pattern becomes a habit or automated it can be very difficult to break. The only way to break out is to consciously decide to ignore the excuses and fatigue and do the work anyway. In your case, set a limit -- I'm going to work on x for 30min no matter what and ignore the distractions, excuses, false fatigue, etc. The idea is to retrain your self to work on your goals and build up from 5 minutes to 10,20,30,60 minutes until you relearn goal focus.

As I wrote in another comment, I think there are competing forces within us.

You need to start a habit of being productive. I like to tie going to the gym with working on a personal project. I find getting up and going to the gym first thing on a Saturday morning makes it much easier to sit down after and work on something productive. If I sleep in and ease into the weekend, it's almost impossible to overcome that initial inertia and get something done.

http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html

I think the way to "solve" the problem of procrastination is to let delight pull you instead of making a to-do list push you. Work on an ambitious project you really enjoy, and sail as close to the wind as you can, and you'll leave the right things undone

Maybe you could write an application to automate the spreadsheet work.... which might be more motivating?

Others have given great advice, but here's something else, too.

If you need to find more time, then you have to cut something somewhere. Time is a zero sum game, right? You're already living 24 hours per day, it's all in how you slice it. So what took up the most of your weekend?

> channel surfing > watching about 4 movies > Watch a few World Cup matches, while surfing YouTube.

If you'd throw out your TV, you'd have saved at least 10 or 15 hours, right?

I suffer from the same problem, and I find that the #1 motivator that actually works for me is having someone besides myself holding me accountable to a short deadline. Barring a client or other stakeholder checking in on progress, one trick that I've used is making plans with friends to go out for dinner or drinks and committing to finishing my task before meeting up with them. That way, I'm driven by the thought of being late and having a friend sitting at the bar angrily waiting for me.

If you don't have any friends available, the 2nd best motivator is to break it up into smaller and smaller tasks until you have something you can take care of quickly and easily enough that there's no way you can procrastinate (Pomodoro method also helps with this approach).

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's also important to take Saturday off and actually go outside and do something fun (sitting at home or going to the bar does not count as a useful day off). You'll find that Sunday is a lot more productive.

Another good tactic is to have a like-minded entrepreneurial friend over for a coworking session. It makes it harder to sit on Google Reader or HN when you have someone else in the room.

Trust me. I've been dealing with this for years. I have somewhat of an unfair advantage in this department. If you don't take care of what's most important (i.e. most of your time), then the little time you do have will be of little value to you.

I will give you an example. My friend wonders why he has a poor diet. He says he knows he should eat better, but he still makes poor food choices. The answer? Because he is failing at the most important things in life. His career. He's desperately confused on the inside, lost, and scared. At 25, living at home, having a pointless and worthless degree, I would be too.

It's like that story... here: http://www.wow4u.com/theprofessor/

Once you take care of the most important, all the less important stuff is easy. In your case, take care of most of your time... your mentality in your spare time will change completely.

(And start journaling your fears and beliefs)

Peace.

At 23 I was less than one year married and working at a textbook publisher for $8 per hour. It was an ok job, I guess. It got me into CS, so I'll be forever grateful.

But I was going nowhere. It took me a while to find what I really cared about.

Let me give you a hint. Anyone who cares about money as an end in itself has not really thought the thing out.

Now at almost 30, I have satisfying, challenging work. My wife doesn't have to work because we live on my salary. My son is six and happy. I'm paying off the grad school debt and the mortgage that happened in between. And I have some inkling about what I'll do next.

Figure out some purpose in life. It's an investment that will pay off way better than VBA macros.

I don't really want money just for its own sake. The freedom, the possibilities are what I'm really after. And I think money makes that a lot easier.

I suppose I buy that money is a kind of gateway.

But what does it open into? What freedom? What possibilities? If you begin with the end in mind, you'll have a reason to suffer for the money to buy the freedom you want. Without it you'll just dream about dreaming.

Break down your goal. You have one statement which is 'Make Complicated Spreadsheet'. That alone sounds daunting. Rather break it down into smaller chunks to make it sound more manageable.

That said, you can then spend all day making more and more detailed plans and this turns into it's own form of procrastination. Try to figure out what motivates you and then draw from that.

Also, why wait until the weekend - what do you do with the hours before and after work?

Being rich and being sick of working for others are different goals. Many people in my family "work for themselves." They are freelance artists and musicians and make almost no money. Another family member is in finance and as far as I can tell he is pretty rich by most measures.

If you really enjoy excel as much as you imply in one of your other posts perhaps getting into banking or trading would be a good way for you to become rich.

http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/

Seriously, who can't work on something for 25 mins? Give it a try.

I've watched a lot of movies, and the time which went into that has been enormously paid back in the form of increased wisdom, self-awareness, empathy, aesthetic sense, and interpersonal skills. And depending on how intently you watch YouTube or World Cup, you may be getting volumes out of those activities as well.

You may be calling these activities time-wasters automatically, or because that's a common way to look at media consumption. But they may instead be important learning activities for you, useful in some of the ways college is useful.

I agree very much with others here that "doing" and "doing as a means of learning" are fun, fulfilling, and important, but sometimes the emphasis on those methods disparages other important activities we engage in.

Try planning your weekends and incorporating a sense of balance, e.g. figure out during the week if there is a game or movie you might get a lot out of on Sunday and fit time for other goals around it.

That's why i'm more productive when i know there's school the next day.

A few things that helped me:

1. Making a list of productive things to do and start doing one of them. If you notice you're starting to procrastinate, choose something else from the list that seems to be more enjoyable to do. This way, you might not finish what you planned to do, but you would still have done something productive and you won't beat yourself up for procrastinating. Then just cycle through the list and eventually you'll end up doing everything on the list.

2. If there's a very boring task that i need to do, i just tell myself i'll do some work for 5 minutes and then do something else, but once i get started i'll probably work until i get the task done.

The only thing that really bothers me is when i have very productive days followed by a sequence of very unproductive days. It feels like i have some sort of bi-polar. Does anyone else experience something similar?

Another way of saying:

"if you want something to get done, ask a busy person".

Break your complex project down into a list of tasks.

You want list items specific enough that you have a clear idea of where to start.

Now do the first few tasks. After 2 or 3, you'll have built momentum and that's the hard part.

To keep your momentum, stop before an easy task so tomorrow it's easy to start up again. Do the same when taking breaks. Tick/strike your tasks as you go, as it's satisfying to see your progress.

Set specific and realistic timeframes for each task, keeping in mind they'll all take you three times longer than you think they will. Always be able to answer "where will my project be 1 day/week/month from now" to keep yourself on track.

Rinse/repeat, get enough rest, get enough exercise and time away from computer. Especially if you're doing dayjob AND side-project sitting at a computer. Resist the urge to pull all-nighters.. although you're 23 so once in a while is probably OK :-)

The things that you avoid most are the ones you must attack the hardest. Read the War of Art by Pressfield.

Already had it in my Amazon wishlist, from researching this problem. I think I need to put this up on my wall.

Thanks.

Step 1: Give the problem a name. In the war of art that name is resistance. You have to grapple with it every day. Attack it - make it your enemy.

Get started (hardest part), music, and rescuetime. Find tasks within larger tasks that you can check off so it feels like progress. Create a game with your tasks and as you complete them you advance (RescueTime can help create a productivity game).

Success is breaking past all these walls. Everyone goes through it.

Also it might be better to tell yourself you are going to chill every weekend and when you do actually work it will feel more rewarding. You may also be propelled to work because you are wasting time. If you think all week that you will work this weekend, your mind feels like it has committed and dome something but your actions don't complete it in reality. So reverse that by planning to waste time, when you do stuff you'll feel better.

"Success is breaking past all these walls. Everyone goes through it."

Thanks. I really needed to hear that.

Two things.

1. Try taking up a meditation art; you can do that instead of watching TV and movies. It tends to act as a "multiplier" on whatever you want to do next, rather than sapping your energy.

2. You're probably visualizing too many results at one time, which makes the work seem big. Whatever you're doing, the plan/execute/feedback cycle has to be kept short, or else you lose touch. This doesn't change even if you have all the time in the world or are guaranteed trillions of dollars at the end - the work itself has to be something you can take satisfaction in. So don't worry too much about a goal for the day or the weekend. Just _get started_ and you're sure to make progress.

I also have this problem. I spent a large part of the weekend creating a tool for my developers at work to make their live easier instead of spending those precious minutes with my wife and 8 month old sweet girl.

Some argue that we already spend time on what is important to us. If it wasn't important, than we wouldn't be spending time on it. In my case, my work is more important than my family at times. In yours, the argument would go, having fun is more important that pursuing your "dream".

I think it takes a lifestyle change. A rehash of what is _actually_ important to us and redirecting our attention and energy to that.

Good luck, oz. I hope you make it!

Thanks. Good luck to you as well.

Most of it's based on existing studies and introspection rather than original research, but I find PJ Eby to be one of the best around at understanding motivation and akrasia: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpS_cJP5nzs

Because you need to hit bottom first on this issue before finding that bottom and deciding, enough is enough, and moving on. Just like you're beginning to do now, in fact, by making this post.

Trust me -- many people have been here where you are.

You appear to have the entrepreneurial spirit. The world needs more of us, actually. But get there wisely. Plan, prepare, make the exit, feel the "sink or swim" period, get used to it enough in the lows so that they don't scare you as much anymore, and then you'll soar just like I did.

Of course, having a spouse with a stable income sort of makes it a lot easier. :)

"Just like you're beginning to do now, in fact, by making this post."

I was a bit reluctant to post-didn't want people to know I struggled.

Maybe pride really is a deadly sin.

There is something called a decision making reserve. You consume this over the weekdays. During the weekend you are bankrupt and all the 'time wasting' is actually critical for you to build up the reserves for the coming week.

This system exists for your own good. Do not try to fight it. Understand it, instead.

Understanding your power/limitations is the first stepping stone to realize your dreams. Once you do that and internalize it, you will know how to unleash the power.

Lastly, always remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

This is what works for me. Get up Saturday morning and go edit you hosts file and block off the 3 most common sites that you waste time on. Now, pack up your laptop and go to a coffee shop. This will eventually lead you to break the habit for short stimuli and eventually you will learn enjoy longer term projects. Leaving the house prevents you from turning on the TV or finding some other random thing to waste time on. It's all about habit forming.

I think this is a good idea. Unfortunately, I don't have a laptop.

I really can relate. What is holding me back from starting to work on something or learning for a subject I'm not interested in (for college), is the fact that I'm afraid to fail/not complete/not understand. But the thing is after I start and work through the problems I tell myself, why haven't I started earlier?

Anyway shoot me a mail, maybe we can help each other out and create something great!

Haha, I suffer from much the same illness.

Oz, are you in the Bay Area? I wonder if a "pair programming" setup would work? By that, I mean 2 people tell each other what they're going to work on, then sit beside each other and work on it.

In my experience, the social context prevents the brain of having any notions of desertion. It'd be too embarrassing for either person to open up a youtube tab.

No-Kingston, Jamaica.

Confession-I can't program! I can talk with you about it for hours, from calling conventions, concurrency methods. I started messing around in Python when I was about 14. But because I've never sat down and finished something, I don't have the practice.

I'm smart, but I don't Get Things Done.

I wasn't talking about programming either, pair programming is just an example. Your spreadsheet will work just as well.

You wanted a solution to you wasting time. Get someone to sit besides you as you work. Find someone who has something of their own to work on, so you don't distract each other by talking.

Run a mental experiment. Can you see yourself goofing off with someone besides you? If not, try it out!

A few hours ago, I made plans with my best friend to meet up Saturday and get some work done.

The only thing that has worked for me is the Pomodoro technique http://www.pomodorotechnique.com and the Hemming Way Hack

Read the ebook: http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/resources/cirillo/ThePomodo...

Make a system to reward yourself for actually executing your plans. Buy yourself a treat or the gadget you always wanted when (and ONLY when) you have successfully exercised every day for 30 days in a row. Enjoy 15 minutes on HackerNews AFTER 3 hours of real actual work. Come up with your own system.

Small note: it could be conditioning but you also do need "mental recovery" time

Here's one quick consideration: you have to relax. You will do it one way or another. Perhaps you should try to do stuff after hours instead of the weekend, and not even worry about being productive on the weekend?

I will tell you the answer: It's because you spend the other 5 days doing crap.

>I'll spend 5 minutes doing the task, and as soon as I encounter any difficulty, I take a break to 'clear my head'.

This is one symptom of ADHD. You should see if you have any others. (I'm not a doctor, etc, etc.)

I self-diagnosed myself with ADHD approx. 3 years ago...

Have you seen a psychiatrist, or tried any medications for it?

The symptoms for ADHD are nearly identical to depression, anxiety, and minor cases of manic depression. Armchair psychology is a very very dangerous thing, that nearly all of us get wrong.

Hit up a doctor before jumping to conclusions.

How's that novel coming? Almost done, I'll bet.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/12/how_to_create_motivat...

Just do it.

you don't need any help from us. if you start doing things, even failing at them, you will one day succeed. don't give up and just remember there is only one obstacle between you, and your chosen life.

you, so i say again

just do it.

Your bad habits are not so bad on the grand scale of things. A lot of working stiffs split the weekends into getting hammered and nursing a hangover.

This is silly, but I think I am less likely to slack off if I wear shoes while sitting at my desk.

Oz, what's your email?

Fair of failure - welcome to the club.

All the other alternatives you have covered. It even sounds like you're looking for confirmation, rather than an answer you don't know. I'm with you - I procrastinate, blame other stresses, take breaks, stop working in order to organise what I'm working on, etc. Every now and then, I manage to just shake it all off and do something useful, and then it's blindingly obvious what I've been doing and I swear I'll never do it again. It's about time I got a grip and practiced what I preach more often, but there you go.

Good luck, wish me the same!

Have you been lurking outside my bedroom window?

I always swear that this is the last time. I hope today can be a turning point.

Forgot to mention that I have the words "Just stop stopping" on the wall behind my monitor - it might be the hardest thing in the world for me to do, but knowing how simple an instruction it all boils down to really helps me to guilt myself into actually doing it, rather than just promising myself I'll do it.

Most of this sounds like I wrote it. I hate time, I'm 23 and feel like I'm so far behind where I want to be.

Think about it this way: 15 years ago, we were in 3rd grade. I don't even remember anything in third grade. Since then, I've gone to and finished middle school, high school, college, worked multiple jobs, had multiple girlfriends, cycled through different groups of friends, partied hard, and lived life. All of this while my mind and brain were still developing.

Now we're 23 and smarter than the average person, technically and entreprenuerly aware, and impatient because we aren't where our 30+ year old friends are in life. I regularly am spoken to like I'm equal in age to my 30+ year old coworkers, who even make fun of "dumb college kids just out of school" but don't consider me in that group.

We're not as old as you think man. I waste time on the weekends all the time. It's because we think we can handle 100+ hours a week and hate ourselves when we break down and veg out.

Cut back your hours, wake up and stand in the sun every morning for 30 minutes, and take yoga or go running every day. Write in a journal.

Remind yourself that there is a world that doesn't give a shit what we think of ourselves or where we want to be, and the only thing that can get us farther in life is our own determination and willpower. Start thinking long term and tell yourself you are badass.

Feel free to hit me up if you want to chat more, sounds like we have some stuff in common.

Wow. I haven't experienced a tenth of what you have.

"Now we're 23 and smarter than the average person, technically and entreprenuerly aware, and impatient because we aren't where our 30+ year old friends are in life."

Yes, yes, yes! I am eternally grateful about being entreprenuerly aware. I keep telling myself to be thankful - many people only start thinking this way when they're ten years older. This is one of the major contributions of HN to my life: pulling back the curtain on entrepreneurship.

"We're not as old as you think man. I waste time on the weekends all the time. It's because we think we can handle 100+ hours a week and hate ourselves when we break down and veg out."

How did you know? Especially when I read so many stories of founders working 100+ hr weeks for three years, I'm ashamed to be finding it difficult to do it for a week! I really want to 'compress my working life,' as PG put it.

"Remind yourself that there is a world that doesn't give a shit what we think of ourselves or where we want to be, and the only thing that can get us farther in life is our own determination and willpower. Start thinking long term and tell yourself you are badass."

Willpower and Will To Power. Nietzsche FTW!

"Feel free to hit me up if you want to chat more, sounds like we have some stuff in common."

Email sent.

I think it's too easy to blame. We wouldn't look at a watch that was running slow and say "that watch is lazy", and we shouldn't look at ourselves when we don't achieve what we want and treat it as some kind of failure of will.

Psychologists have a term for when you overestimate the actions of a person rather than the environment they're in: the fundamental attribution error. We attribute results to the ego even when it's not really responsible.

Your mind and body are incredible machinery that you spend most of your life figuring out how to operate. The difference between 20 and 30 is ten years of operating experience. If you've blown it this weekend, it's not because you were lazy, it's because your machinery's not quite running right.

The advice given elsewhere in this thread is great, but at the core is an understanding: the results mostly come from your environment. Not just the external (distractions, workspace, tools etc), but also the one in your head, defined by goals and motivations and ruled by systems and working rituals.

You can't change it all at once, and if you expect that the next time you sit down on the weekend you'll just have a new lease on life, you'll be disappointed. If you do this right, you'll just slowly start finding it easier. The distractions less appealing, the tasks more approachable. Eventually it will be harder to fail than to succeed. To get there, you just need to stop blaming the watch, and start listening to the machinery. What does it need to run on time?

PS. About founders working hundred-hour weeks without breaking a sweat, I think you'll find the number changes significantly depending on how you define work. I'm currently working 168 hours including scheduled rest breaks and group-oriented social activities.

Motivation and self-discipline will trump intelligence any day of the week.

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