Women file for divorce twice as often as men:
http://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/savvy/documents/pr...
It is not popular to discuss sex differences in marriage behaviors (as my burnt karma indicates) but they exist.
http://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/savvy/documents/pr...
It is not popular to discuss sex differences in marriage behaviors (as my burnt karma indicates) but they exist.
That's not to say they don't exist — they most certainly do, though perhaps not necessarily in the forms so many like to think. But your comment reads to me as, "See! There it is again!" which smells like nothing so much as confirmation bias.
Women are more likely than men to initiate divorces, but women and men are just as likely to end non-marital relationships, according to a new study that will be presented at the 110th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association (ASA).
And later:
Social scientists have previously argued that women initiate most divorces because they are more sensitive to relationship difficulties. Rosenfeld argues that were this true, women would initiate the breakup of both marriages and non-marital relationships at equal rate
The paper goes on to theorize that the assymetry may be because the institution of marriage (and the social expectations surrounding it) has not caught up with expectations of gender equality, leading women to feel oppressed.
And that has absolutely nothing to do with what this article is about, and certainly does not support the claimed sex-assymetry of marital dissatisfaction due to spousal changes that you claim (without evidence) exists.
I doubt very much we will convince one another of much, so I hope only that exposure to an alternative view point helps us both better understand our own thinking.
I can't figure out what your interpretation is. The picture you linked to in the NYTimes shows a woman who is unhappy her husband didn't live up to her illusions she had during the honeymoon stage. That is something that can happen to men or women. In fact, it used to be a stock joke: the woman who scares her husband without makeup once he finally sees her.
I think this behavior has its roots in evolution: women have far fewer fertility cycles (which are correspondingly more valuable) and are much less able to remain in a marriage while pursuing other mates.
It is not a popular interpretation here, at least not one that is spoken out loud, but I believe it to be reasonable and I think it is worth burning some karma to say so.
Or supported by the very study you cited.
In fact, that study takes a very different tack (again, their study suggests the issue is with power imbalances that form within marriage due to institutionalized gender biases), and the fact you don't seem to realize that supports my theory that you're allowing yourself to fall victim to confirmation bias.
For someone who espouses keeping an open mind, you're doing a remarkable job of demonstrating the danger of choosing facts that fit your preconceived notions.
I will certainly grant that confirmation bias is a risk for all of us, particularly when the hard data is layered on top of something as subjective and open to interpretation as marriage satisfaction.
But that theory doesn't explain why, in addition to initiating divorce less frequently, married men also report higher levels of relationship satisfaction than women, while unmarried couples report the same levels of satisfaction.
Many people stay unhappily married (or unmarried & together) for a variety of reasons -- my comment was solely intended to reference people who pull that trigger.
Or it could be because women have a financial incentive to initiate divorce.
Get rid of child support and alimony and make 50-50 shared custody the default and you will see a different picture.
COST of a normal break up vs cost of a divorce.
There is a huge difference of financial outcomes of a break up between a 7 month relationship and a 7 year marriage.
For the 7 months relationship the couple moves on, and no financial re-arrangements happens. For the marriage, there is a much higher chance that the woman: 1) takes custody of the children (if the couple has them) 2) is recipient of child support 3) is recipient of alimony payments
You can say that a "divorce" is much more costly to men and hence they are more likeley to stick it out a relationship or try to make it work, but there is less cost to women (financially at least), hence they are more likely to initiate it.
Given the current marriage laws are a remnant of the 50s and 60s lifestyle (of women staying home, and needing financial protection in case of divorce), you can argue that the current law framework in the US encourages the initiation of the divorce from women, and discourages that from men.
Since no divorce costs are involved in a normal 7 months long relationship, you see men initiating breakups just as much as women.
TLDR: Current divorce laws favors women by a long shot, hence they are more likely to initiate it.
COST of a normal break up vs cost of a divorce.
As I said in my other post, I could considered that. But the study diminishes the likelihood of that interpretation.
Married men initiate divorce less and report higher relationship satisfaction than women, while unmarried men and women report the same levels of relationship satisfaction.
If men initiated divorce less simply because of the cost of divorce, that data does not make sense. You'd expect the same or lower satisfaction than women, but that's not borne out in the data.
Why would you expect that? Having options often decreases satisfaction.
If you have a good job that has a few frustrating downsides which situation would make you more satisfied?
A) You know all the alternative jobs are a lot worse. Better to try and improve the few frustrating bits.
B) You are constantly informed about other great job alternatives. And you know you get to keep a lot of the benefits of the first job if you do change.
Most often people in situation A will be more satisfied.
But you argument doesn't explain why married men and women have different levels, and definitely doesn't explain why men report higher levels than women.
Interesting! Sounds like a theory worth exploring, definitely.
I can't see any good reason why it wouldn't apply to relationships as well.
If you love your job, do a lot of overtime and are happy with familly, the spouse might be increasingly unhappy without you knowing (no matter which gender is on which side).
These things matter less when you don't have children and one of you did not moved where other one has job. Meaning, they are more likely to hit married people.
That's not true in California; there's a lot of flexibility in deciding that here. For example, if the separation will mean that one of the two parties will have to reduce their standard of living below that of what was enjoyed during the marriage, that can result in alimony payments.
See http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/spousal-su... for more fun on this topic.
http://www.realworlddivorce.com
As far as I remember from reading the book, the law favors the spouse with the lower income among the two; and the spouse with child custody.
The discussions of reasons for divorce begins on page 4.
Edited for formatting.
[0] https://web.stanford.edu/~mrosenfe/Rosenfeld_gender_of_break...