From the top of my head,

1. Mention what products. I know you'd want to say everything but still mention some of the everything . 2. Repairing requires trust. Hosting a site on wix doesn't offer trustworthiness. 3. Add a few more sections, like by when you'd launch and explain the how visually. 4. Mention an exact location. I am pretty sure you won't be able to start off with the entire world, so mention a state/city or two at the most. You can do it subtly like "we are starting off with x and x places and would coming to your city soon"

On the idea - it's pretty generic but requires absolutely efficient execution to have the wow factor.

All the best.