That sounds a lot like my current state of mind. Only that I'm not on the autistic spectrum. Just did the wrong thing in trying to tough out a major depression on my own which tuned me to feeling vaguely neutral all the time, plus I somehow lost the ability to be empathic almost completely. I do remember how it's supposed to look though, so hardly anyone notices.

If you're feeling like you're blowing fuses, stop what you're doing and get help before you adapt in the worst possible way.