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No, but I've got a fake beard and a false ID. Will that do?

Is this a abelian group?

I know I know terrible joke.

Can you count in Russian?

adeen dva tree chiteeriet piat shess sem vosem dyevit dyesit

I can has prize now?

Try: один, два, три, четыри, пять, шесть, семь, восемь, девять, десять.

That's what I said. Surely I get extra credit for transliterating it to what it sounds like to a native english speaker?