Silicon Valley CEO Pleads ‘No Contest’ to Abusing His Wife

Regardless of your stance on corporal punishment, a parent is in a position of authority over, and responsible for training their children. The relationship between a parent and child is ideally a loving relationship, but it is not a relationship of equals. The parent, culturally and legally, is expected to make decisions in the child's best interest, even, sometimes, when the child disagrees. A child is not an adult.

The relationship to a spouse is fundamentally different. In this country, marriage is a union of two equals. You do not give up the legal autonomy granted to you at 18 just because you got married.

Most people would find it weird or creepy to find you were using other kinds of punishment on your spouse, even punishments that are uncontroversial when used on children, just because this implies that you are not respecting your spouse as an equal, but instead treating him or her as a child.

> Is hitting your kids any less morally despicable than hitting your spouse?

> Why does such a large section of society think it's OK to hit your kids and not your spouse?

It's not OK. Beating your kids is not OK. Beating your wife is not OK. Beating anyone is not OK.

Resolving to violence is weak.

One of the cases is when adult tries to explain something to kid but kid can't understand. Adult gets frustrated and starts beating kid. I was not a smart kid and my father was not particularly great at explaining things. He never beat me but verbally and vocally felt that way.

My dad spanked me with a wooden stick. I think it was good for me.

>Is hitting your kids any less morally despicable than hitting your spouse?

The only time I have ever (and will ever) hit my children is when they are around the toddler age and try to do something very dangerous that I've repeatedly tried to get them not to do.

For example: trying to pry the safety cover off of an electrical outlet in order to insert a fork, running towards traffic, pushing their siblings near the top of the stairs etc.

A two year old doesn't have the mental ability to fully understand why such things are bad and so in the past I've given them exactly two quick spanks to the bottom so they understand the severity of what they were doing. It's extremely rare that this happens but I'd prefer to do that than risk missing an attempt that could end in disaster.

Beating is, of course, always out of line.

The difference between this and a spouse is that the spouse is obviously able to make their own decisions.

I grew up in a culture where it was normal to hit kids. But my parents never hit me. I was just as bad as any other kid in the block. What that taught me is that love and affection are far more powerful than fear. I've never hit my kids and I never will. Every time they do something that makes me really angry, I think of my parents. It's not ok to hit anyone. There's never a valid reason. Most of the time it's your weakness in action.

First of all, not all "hitting" is equal. There is a significant difference between punishment (spanking) and abuse (beating). I got the belt as a child from my father when my mother's time-outs or light spanks weren't enough. I certainly deserved and needed it to correct my behavior.

Second, the difference is your spouse is your equal while your children are dependents. You cannot reasonably punish your equal. You can only reason with her. As a parent however, it is your duty to teach, guide, and discipline your children on how to behave. Depending on the child, harsher punishment may be required to ensure the right values are instilled (I certainly needed it).

Corporal punishment in my opinion is lazy parenting. I've thought about this a lot. My parents divorced early, I was raised by my father. He loved me and my brother no doubt but after a hard days work he had no interest in doing normal parent things - like camping/fishing activities or just spending time with us. We got punished when we screwed up. Sometimes unjustly, like him having heard rumors and acting on them. If he had spent more time with us growing up rather than watching TV he would have known our character. I would of appreciated it a lot more if he had bothered to wither us down with kindness and patience. Now that things are a lot better between us and i'm a working adult, corporal punishment is one of my dads regrets.

That extra text would have exceeded the 80-character limit for HN article titles.

Murdering people is considered acceptable by Islamic extremists, as long as they are non-believers.

This is why we impose limits on what traditions can be practiced in our society.

In some cultures it's considered a compliment to actually burp after your meal.