> I have more problems with the consequences of the FAM argument - that we inexorably ought to use all our life for the benefit of others if we profess to care for others at all. This, to me, is such an absurd consequence as to throw the entire enterprise of morality as a chain of material implication following from axioms (very attractive to a computer scientist!) into doubt.
This line of argument is called "the demandingness objection". There's a decent bit of philosophical literature under that heading.
If one embraces the implications of FAM rather than rejecting them, that probably ends up looking something like "effective altruism". (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/22/extreme-altrui... is an article about effective altruism that seems relevant to your concerns)