Tell HN: I'm bad at my job | Hacker News Reader

Tell HN: I'm bad at my job

7 pointsanonexec5 comments

I'm bad at my job.

I recently jumped from an individual contributor role to an executive-level role at a mid-sized tech company. The role has some overlap with my previous position, but much of my responsibility is outside my comfort zone.

I haven't managed many people, and I'm now managing a bunch. I always feel like I'm failing and that my team (because of me) is doing a bad job. When I look at my (much more experienced) peers, I'm not sure they're doing much better, but it REALLY REALLY SEEMS like they're doing much better. It's intimidating.

I also feel like my work/life balance is completely wrong. I have a newborn at home whom I'm worried I'm not spending enough time with. Being with him is the best part of my life, and I basically only see him in the morning and on the weekend.

I feel like I'm in way over my head, like I should just give up.

Help me out. Should I just stick it out and get the experience (and the bruises that come with it) or move to a more comfortable (but probably much lower paying) thing and spend more time with my baby?

You only get one year with a newborn, and then only one year with a one-year old. If being with him really is the best part of your life, move to something that doesn't demand as much time, unless you really need the money. (Need. Not just want. If being with your newborn is the best part of your life, it's better than the things you can buy with more money.)

It's not "giving up" to decide that something isn't for you. It's knowing yourself, and being honest with yourself.

Prioritize first, then budget out time, then maximize efficiency for time allocated.

Your family comes first. Set a budget of how much time for that, don't budge. You manage the expectations and set the boundaries for others to know your family time is non-negotiable.

Now you have the rest of your time to derive value out of. If say that's 35 or 55 hours left, great. Now your know your base rate.

Optimize that time left, if it's communication, then set up tools and means and discipline yourself to do 1:n communication regularly. If you really think about it, you're now the blogger to a small internal group and professional bloggers have a hellish editorial schedule to keep.

You do too now.

Increase efficiency of time left, if it's 1:1 then setup tools and means so that you're not repeating anything. Document tasks, document process, document everything so that if anyone asks your for information they're routed to a resource available and accessible.

Make your team do this too.

Delegate more. Do all the low hanging fruits, write it down, then give it to someone else. Coach everyone to step up. But at the same time go to bat for them when shit rolls downhill.

Also, accept that it's just going to suck.

In the military world, a 24 yo is given command of 30 to 100 people. Their lives suck. They're the first to get in, last to leave. Last to eat, and always worried about everyone else.

But likewise, they're entrusted to make the decisions and thus get some leeway.

You're still green, it feels bad, it is bad, but you just have to keep at it.

Good luck.

Also in the military there are people who maintain the planes, tanks, armoury, cook meals, build bridges, transport supplies, etc. Without their support no amount of leadership would win battles.

For many people fulfilment comes from being a good team player and competently supporting the front-line.

"On their deathbed, nobody says they wished to have spent more time in the office."

Life is precious and the time spent with your child can never be replaced. There are far more important things in life than promotions and status.

I think your heart is clearly telling you which way to go. But you have been conditioned into being a good corporate drone. Unless I misread your post, you will go back to the role where you can competently provide for your family and have the valuable quality time with your child and family.

Check out this video, and you may have your answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc

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