I want to make it perfectly clear...I am NOT in any way trying to avoid my personal responsibility in this painful experience. My primary crime was being careless, and I am sure paying one hell of a price for it. Living in this shelter trying to find work with no clothes, even after I supposedly paid my debt to society, sure feels like I’m nowhere near done with the punishment.

What is deeply maddening, however, is the fact that the police violated my liberties and right to be protected from unreasonable search and seizure. It was an open and shut case according to my public defender and the whole thing was recorded on his body cam, but I quickly realized that I would have spend significantly more time in jail waiting for a trial to beat it then I would by taking a "deal" where the case was dropped to a misdemeanor.

At the core of it, my inability to create loving relationships at this point in my life, the kind that could have helped me bail out in time to not to lose my job, handicaps me in a big way, and surely is a driver of my substance use as well. I have learned a great deal about addiction in my 35 years of using and there is little doubt that the core cause of my use is relationship-based dysfunction.

And yes...I can and do handle meth as I use it almost exactly like caffeine. I worked for 10 months here in Vegas and my boss never even knew I had moved here from Florida...that describes perfectly how little I changed my daily routine.

In that time, I built Facebook and Twitter bots using the latest APIs, decoded and reimplemented an online version of a very complex standalone Medispan pharmaceutical drug database schema, designed/implemented a high-performance PHP MVC framework (and much the code for the actual applications), and designed/implemented a seamless, secure API interface for our Ionic 2 mobile app. Also wrote a standalone subscription-based cart and billing module using the Stripe API.

Oh and I am most proud of the Fastlane integration for the Ionic apps that I personally developed (thank God for the cognitive enhancement for this!) the MS and OSX server scripts to totally automate the creation and submission of 100s of branded mobile apps for all our pharmacy clients. Last I heard, our competition hired two PhD Computer Science professors to attempt to catch up as we totally blew by them with the systems I designed.

But I fully expect no one to believe me, because, of course, “drug addicts” such as myself are simply worthless pieces of shit that have no place in society besides, perhaps, working as minimum wage laborers.

This is the life I live. I don’t recommend it.