My wife is my co-founder, is that going to be a problem? | Hacker News Reader

My wife is my co-founder, is that going to be a problem?

12 pointsop2ed14 comments

Hello, I applied in the S17 batch with my co-founder/wife and I was wondering if it will hurt or help us because we are married? We do have a very strong connection - having hitchhiked Asia and the Middle east together(including war zones) and we literally saved each other's lives, so perhaps if there is any bias against married people, this will prevent it?

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In business you're going to have to make some decisions were you will disagree with each other. Unfortunately this will carry over to your personal relationship. Personal to business disagreements will also happen. If you can, avoid putting extra stress on your marriage. It's hard enough to stay married in general. You can say the same thing for the business. Also, it's nice to remove yourself from the stress of work. It's going to be so much harder when your wife is going thru the same stress.

In short, don't do it. It's not worth the extra stress.

Well the issue with us is that our business was born out of our abilities, alone the business would fall apart. For now, we have no choice to be co-founders. But thank you for your input.

It depends. Your past experiences certainly suggest that you work together well on an adventure and facing crisis - both of which are common with startups. I did read somewhere that the husband and wife co-founders of VmWare maintained a professional separation of responsibilities and decision making. They upheld this when facing staff, investors and other outsiders. They only did "couple things" at home and with friends. In business they were like any other co-founders.

My take is that when you travel and have adventures, you strive to be similar and match your interests and abilities. In business you need to focus on your specific competencies. You will need to assign responsibilities and stick to them. Otherwise you end up constantly debating every decision and that slows things down. But these are generalisations. Your specific abilities might suggest novel ways of working together.

Thanks for the input, it is inspiring and rather useful for us.

They say co-founder relationships are like a marriage, so since you're already in a marriage with your co-founder, and assuming you guys have a good relationship where you can openly communicate and understand each other, you should be good.

Paul Graham and Jessica Livingston (husband/wife) co-founded YC... a company you might have heard of.

So the answer is No.

Two of the co-founders of YC are now husband and wife, although I have no idea if they were together at the start. It appears they have also accepted a husband and wife team before . Not sure whether they factor for this one way or the other.

Personally I couldn't do it with my wife, that's just the nature of our relationship. Last thing I want to waste time doing while starting up is have to give out constant hugs because I was too harsh in my criticism or disagreement about something. However everyone's relationship is different good luck to you if yours is one of those.

Also aside, is it wise to be hitch hiking through middle east war zones? The last thing I'm sure anyone here wants to see is you and your wife on the news cowering while someone threatens to cut your heads off.

I co-founded a company with my boyfriend of 1.5 years, who later became my husband. Our company has been bootstrapped and profitable for the last 8 years. Initially, we were both slightly embarrassed to be both co-founders and in a relationship, but as time went on (and especially in moving to SV) we realized this is incredibly common. Its also very common to co-found with a sibling, cousin or other family member. The reality is that running a company is incredibly hard, and you need to be able to trust your co-founding team members. Family members (by blood or marriage), if you are lucky, are often the people you trust the most.

I have seen many couples break up after co-founding a failed startup. Granted, this is at the college/university level, and it sounds like you have a bit more experience under your belt.

But do make sure that you both accept the risk that the startup could result in your divorce and in business failure.

YC is started by a married couple.

Presumably all married couples have a strong connection ... I'd also presume most investors would see it as a net negative, so your overall pitch will have to be that much stronger.

No. I see it as an asset as trust levels are incredibly higher. It will also help in decoupling the highs and lows of business from the individuals.

Godspeed to you and your wife!

Cisco and VMware were also started by married couples.

(Now I'm wondering how many YCers haven't heard of either company.)

Please tell me this is satire.

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