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Having gone through the whole NSN merge, I hope the Mentor Graphics guys and girls are luckier than we were.

It doesn't have to be done in closed-source silos, people just choose to do it that way. There's open-source EDA software out there: Kicad is my favorite for PCB design. It works better than the PADS software I used years ago, and from what I hear from people using proprietary EDA software currently, the new stuff really isn't any better.

Where do EDA types congregate?

EDIcon, DesignCon, etc.

Back when I was at Intel I wasn't aware of anyone frequenting EDA-specific forums. The annual IDC (Intel Developers Conference) was the biggest physical meetup as far as I recall. Also, there were the other company-led events. Very segmented.

For IC design the main independent online resource is Deepchip.